Chapter 48 - Forest

• Not knowing what to do, just not knowing. At the last second I understood that Sergio should remain unaware of all this, so I ended up choosing not to tell him anything, there was no point in him knowing about this if he couldn't do anything about it. I didn't know it either and I may never be able to figure it out, but if there was one thing I could be totally sure of, it was that I had to stop dragging the wrong people along.
• I alone was the one who had gotten myself into all this regardless of the reasons that had led me to do it. Only I had to take charge and face it.
• I was desperate, I'm not going to lie. I needed an escape more than ever but it seemed that all roads were blocked, I needed a breath of air that would at least allow me to breathe easily for a brief moment. I thought a lot about whether or not I should go to meet Fabrizio, I had many arguments both to accept and to refuse: What if the car wasn't his? Despite having told me in person and having given me enough characteristics to generate certainty in me about it, it did not change my fear that the situation of the previous appointment would be repeated, I knew that it would be a matter of a second for everything to go wrong. What if his argument was so valid that it led me to have to swallow all the words I had said to him? That wasn't at all compatible with how high my ego could be, and clashing with my own beliefs didn't seem like such a pleasant thing to live through. What if I then didn't allow myself to return to my life and ended up a prisoner after having voluntarily appeared in his life? home? It would be like “giving myself” that this situation could occur completely voluntarily.