Chapter 5 Mahjub Al-makki

• Mahjub Al-Makki
• With thoughts as random as they were, drifting back and forth to the past and returning to the performance unfolding before my eyes. I felt a huge confusion within me, still feeling terribly responsible for what happened, for hurting Hope's innocent heart and missing the opportunity to have the woman I am now in love with by my side.
• I felt it when Pietra's hand touched mine as I kept my eyes fixed on the smooth and delicate movements Hope was executing, conveying all her gracefulness.
• "She's beautiful..." I whisper with my prayer beads between my fingers.
• At the end of the first act, the curtains close and some red petals are thrown onto the stage. I observed carefully and tried to spot the person responsible for throwing the petals, but unfortunately, it was too dark, and I couldn't see who was throwing them.
• I look at Pietra and see her gaze lost towards the seats, as if she had recognized someone. I try to follow her gaze, but I can't recognize anyone. I touch her hand and smile at my friend, who returns the smile.
• The second act begins, and I see her in the arms of another dancer, which displeases me. What I don't like seeing is his hand so close to the place I have been dreaming of for several years to be the first to touch, to be her first man and the last. The thought torments me and jealousy eats away at me in a way that I start to huff there, sitting.
• Could it be naivety? Perhaps.
• But I want to believe in the possibility that Hope hasn't yet given her purity to another man besides me. I feel a huge restlessness within me just at the thought that she has been in another man's arms.
• I spent the four acts looking at her very carefully, admiring from a distance the small smiles she cast towards her family and the audience in front of her. I saw her gliding with subtlety and bowing to the audience who threw flowers in her direction, applauding her flawless performance.
• I observed closely as a man approached her with a microphone; I saw her reluctant to speak to the audience, proving that she remains shy after so many years performing for a consistently packed theater.
• "For those who don't know, our star is celebrating her twentieth birthday being applauded," the man says with a fond look towards Hope.
• I believe it's the director speaking, by the way, he addresses the audience and tries to be considerate to the dancer who was beside him, her hands clasped tightly in front of her body, perhaps trying to control her nerves.
• "What do you think they're up to?" I ask, amused by Hope's embarrassed look towards her parents.
• "I want to invite everyone to sing 'Happy Birthday' to Hope," just like the whole theater, I rise to sing along.
• Her gaze sweeps across the room, and for a moment our eyes meet, but they don't linger, making me believe she didn't recognize me. The man with the microphone starts singing 'Happy Birthday', smiling happily to be there congratulating the woman whom I want to beg for forgiveness, even if I have to crawl on the ground she walks on.
• Pietra beside me claps along to the birthday song without much rhythm, not paying much attention. I believe she has already found company for later. I rolled my eyes at Pietra who was talking to a man in the box next to us. When I turn my gaze back to the stage, I see Hope staring at me, my breath quickens as I smile back at her and subtly show her the prayer beads she had given me.
• But to my despair, I recognize Guilherme Lira approaching with a bouquet of red roses walking behind her. She had her gaze fixed on me while mine was on the scene behind her. A tear runs down my face, feeling like I just lost the woman who inhabits my thoughts and my heart.
• Hope had her eyes fixed on mine, and I could see the surprise in her expression at seeing me there, until something caught her attention, and I saw her turning her back to me to look at Guilherme, who had a huge smile on his face. Bruno's friend's son was there.
• My chest shattered when I realized what that idiot was about to do at that moment...
• I watch the son of the presidential candidate kneel down, pull a box from his suit, and look at Hope with a lovesick smile. I was in shock at that moment, gripping the railing of the box, looking at what was happening, and for a second, I saw Hope look back at me, confusion in her eyes.
• While mine held the damn remorse and regret.
• It should be me there...
• We should be getting married, making her my sheikha, having her by my side, being my support in governing my country.
• "Hope falling in love with you is inevitable for any man; your grace, your desire to live life freely is enchanting. I am grateful for the day your car broke down, and I could help you continue your journey, and with that same adventurous spirit, I want to make the most important proposal of our lives. Hope de Luca, will you marry me?" I watch them for a reaction.
• I lose my balance and end up knocking the chair behind me to the ground, causing a loud noise that must have attracted everyone's attention. As I lift my eyes, I see everyone looking for the cause of the noise.
• The one who ruined the most special moment for the globally recognized ballerina, the woman who was being proposed to by the son of the American presidential candidate. My gaze crosses Hope's again, and I see her take a deep breath and turn towards the man who was kneeling in front of her.
• I feel my chest tighten to the point of suffocation, needing air urgently. I see her nodding and accepting the proposal that should have been mine.
• My eyes are fixed on the ring sliding onto her finger, and even from a distance, I can see how beautiful the piece was, not as beautiful as the one I gave her. The same one that was returned to me on the day our lives ceased to belong to each other.
• I wanted to descend to that stage and beg for forgiveness, to ask Hope to give me the chance to explain what happened, to say that... no...
• I felt my chest tightening, the air was lacking, and I was starting to feel dizzy with what I was seeing. I feel Pietra grab my arm and start pulling me out of our box. I notice several people's eyes on me, surely not understanding the reason for my reaction at that moment.
• "Let's go, Mahjub, I think you need that calming tea your father Bruno always has." My friend says.
• Pietra takes me out of the theater, and I have no idea how she managed to bring us to the hotel where we were staying, but I'm grateful for her not letting me do anything crazy at this moment.
• "I lost her, Pietra, I lost her again..." I say, feeling my friend's hands removing my tuxedo. I could see the sadness she was feeling for me reflected on her face in the mirror. Pietra is the one who has supported me the most and encouraged me to try again to have a conversation with the ballerina, who managed to make me fall in love with her.
• And on this night, Hope tap-danced on my heart with her point shoes.
• "Take it easy, the war isn't over yet; maybe you've just lost one battle." I turn towards my friend with a bitter look.
• She sits beside me, and I see a mischievous glint in her eyes. I know Pietra well enough to know that she would do anything for me and for Zara.
• "He's quite a catch, I could flirt with him..." I turn to her.
• The way she talked about Guilherme caught my attention; normally Pietra isn't one to show her feelings, but for some reason, I feel like she wanted to let something show.
• She says, leaning back and resting on her hands on the soft bed where we were sitting, staring at the ceiling with her thoughts somewhere else, and I see her sigh.
• I've known Pietra since Zara went to study to become a sommelier in Capri, and since then, we've become inseparable. A few years ago, she had to go to Miami for an extension of her Diplomacy course, and when she came back, she distanced herself from everyone, and we didn't know what had happened. Then everything changed; Pietra was different, I saw her going out with a different guy every day.
• But I didn't want to pressure her, since Pietra and my brothers were the only ones who stood by me while I was in exile, serving my time for what I caused to the girl... No, not girl! The beautiful woman that Hope has become. I was exiled by my family for hurting the heart of a young woman who grew up and turned into the spectacle she is today.
• "Guilherme Lira is not at all a catch, he's weird," I say, puzzled by my friend's attitude.
• I get up from the bed when I hear someone knocking on the door; it's probably room service, we had ordered some tea.
• "That's envy, but I understand why Hope fell in love with him," I take a deep breath and head towards the door.
• While my friend sighs over the man who just proposed to my former suitor, I go towards my door, and thank Allah for promptly providing my mint tea.
• I open the door and am surprised by an unexpected visitor standing in front of my door at this hour of the night. I'm speechless and just hold their gaze.