Chapter 3 A Hollow Heart

• [XENA]
• I wait, heart thudding. My head feels like it weighs a ton. I even out my breathing with some effort and then wipe my tears. When I stand on my feet again, I’m numb. There’s nothing I feel except a cold emptiness where my heart should’ve been.
• Hiding the scroll under my sleeve, I straighten my shoulders and march straight into the study.
• The pair jerk apart like they’ve been struck by lightning. Cassian’s robe is halfway down his shoulder. Astrid pales until her face blends with the painted wall behind her.
• “Forgive me,” I say nonchalantly, shaking my head. “I didn’t know you were taking a healing session in your study.”
• Cassian grunts, pulling up his robe. “You shouldn’t show up unannounced, Xena.”
• “Forgive me,” I repeat.
• Astrid bows deeply and tries to walk out. But I grip her wrist before she can cross the threshold. “What’s your name?” I ask plainly.
• “Astrid, Luna,” she stutters.
• I look at her properly now. From this angle, she truly looks like Davina. He really couldn’t wait another two years, could he? If Davina finds out about her lookalike, she will actually kill him.
• Cassian walks around the table to reach us. “What are you doing, Xena?”
• Astrid’s lips quiver as her gaze darts between Cassian and me.
• She wants him to save her?
• “You seem to be taking good care of my husband,” I remark with a gentle smile, ignoring Cassian’s protective stance. “I just wanted to know where you’re from.”
• “I-I’m from Ashford,” she stutters. “I’m apprenticing under Mistress Morrin.”
• I force out a sigh. “Mistress Morrin? So you haven’t passed your Guild exams yet? And you’re already considered capable enough to tend to the Alpha? You must be talented. And rich. I hear Morrin doesn’t simply take apprentices.”
• Cassian lets out an irritated sigh beside me. “I’m sponsoring her,” he reveals.
• “Sponsoring?” my lips repeat the word.
• He pins me with a glare. “I’ve decided to give out sponsorships starting this year. Is there a problem with that?”
• “Of course, not, Alpha.” I turn back to face her, releasing her wrist. “Oh, I’ve been having some troubles with my… stomach. Do you think you could fetch me something for that? Astrid?”
• “Of course, Luna,” she answers, face paling further before she rushes out.
• When Astrid is gone, Cassian exhales, turning his back. “Why’d you come without informing?”
• “I suppose I missed you,” I claim, plastering a fake smile. I stride and sit on the chair.
• Cassian watches me carefully, studying my demeanor. I don’t miss out the way his throat works.
• I nearly caught him. He probably got away countless times in the last five years, but today I finally stumbled upon him trying to get it on. And yet I don’t let the smile slip from my face.
• Cassian offers back a smile, but keeps his voice firm as he resumes his own chair behind the table. “Don’t do that again, sweetheart. I could’ve been doing something important. You don’t want to feel guilty for disturbing me.”
• “It’s a good thing you were only just getting healed then,” I say quickly, glancing over my shoulder. “But I don’t think she’s really good at what she does.”
• Cassian freezes. “What do you mean?”
• I shrug. “Is she even healing you? The mind wars are taking quite a toll on your body. You look weaker by the day.”
• Cassian laughs, but I notice how nervous it comes out. He doesn’t directly meet my eyes. “I’d say you’re jealous because I spend too much time with her.”
• My lips spread into another smile. He dares to tease me? Not only is he openly and carelessly betraying our marriage, but he’s trying to rub it into my face. “You chose me. How could I ever be jealous of another woman?”
• Cassian smirks, feeling relieved. But then I lean forward and ask a question that shocks him.
• “Do you regret marrying me, Cassian?”
• “What?” he blurts, failing to keep the surprise from his voice. “Why would you say that?”
• I sigh, picking up a wolf figurine from the table. It’s heavy in my fragile hands. I wish to smash it against Cassian’s skull. “I know how much you loved Davina. She was—is your fated mate after all. And she has only two more years left in the Guild.”
• Cassian’s face pales. He tries to assure me, but fumbles, words slacking, “Davina is in the past. You’re my wife, Xena. I love you.”
• I smile softly, putting the piece back on the table. The older me would blush, nearly cry at his confession. I would repeat it back desperately, even crave a kiss. But now all I respond with is, “Of course.”
• Getting off the chair, I turn to leave, but Cassian stops me. “Your father’s name day is tomorrow. Axel reminded me. We’re invited to the celebration.”
• I nod at that information. Then it strikes me. “Davina will be there. The Guild allows her leave for family occasions.”
• “She’ll be there,” Cassian confirms, failing to keep the grin from his face.