Chapter 4 New Me

• What was supposed to be my first day of wedded bliss, was turning out quite differently. My first proper day of single bliss was unfolding, and after being served with a delicious breakfast for two (although more for me), I swept about the sun hazed room in a relaxed fashion, and decided that my plan of action was to first have a wonderful facial and a massage, as what was a fresh start without a rejuvenated body? After that, my course of action was to laze by the pool and soak up some rays, as my pasty skin needed a bronzed glow.
• Venturing out of the suite and in search of the spa, even though a little fragile, I was feeling remarkably more relaxed and in control, than I had felt the day before.
• Finding the spa and entering through the huge, white doors, I was met by a lady wearing a spa uniform and who immediately snapped to attention. Feeling welcomed and cared for was of a top priority today, because I could feel that due to my ex-fiancé’s actions, my self-confidence was wavering.
• Lying on a massage table and feeling the lady work her magic on my shoulders, I never realised how much tension had built up in them. It was like all of my emotions had burrowed into my neck and shoulder region, and I was thankful to be getting shut of the unwanted campsite of upset that was taking root in my body.
• Hearing the sounds of waves and the gentle of touch of someone being nice to me was a welcomed feeling, and as much as my mind was trying to conjure up more thoughts to disrupt my relaxing day, I tried to repress them and enjoy the moment. I, or should I say "we", had paid for this, and it hadn't been cheap. This was now money well spent, as it was for something other than a honeymoon.
• When my treatments had finished, I felt as light as a feather, and I knew that this was a perfect time to go and relax by the pool. I couldn't wait to soak up the sun and get all bronzed. Perhaps if I went home looking like a million dollars it would give Scott something to think about. Then again, I'd never been a scruffy person and he'd still looked elsewhere. I knew in my heart of hearts, that deep down I had never been, and was never going to be, enough for him. That thought hurt the most. The man that I was willing to give my whole heart to had broken it into a million pieces, and I wasn't sure how to glue it back together.
• Nevertheless, placing my sunglasses, bikini, sarong, and flip flops on, I grabbed a book that I had packed, and ventured poolside. Grabbing a fruity cocktail at the bar, I went and found a sun lounger to go and relax on. This was paradise personified, and if it wasn't for my pesky brain annoying me with unwanted thoughts, this would have been a dream holiday.
• There were other guests around the pool, with some baking in the sun, others chatting in small groups, and others swimming in the pool. Although by myself, it was nice to be a part of it, so seating myself at the edge of the pool, I took another slurp of my cocktail before placing it down and removing my sarong to make sure that the sun could get to most parts of my body, without having to go nude.
• Lying back, I could feel the heated rays penetrating my body, and it felt good to crisp up under the golden glitter of the most natural form of life. I'd sometimes been on sunbeds in my spare time, but it was never the same.
• Nestling my now knot-free body into the cushy lounger, I could've happily fallen asleep like this. Deciding that falling asleep in the hot sun, surrounded by strangers wasn’t the best idea, I pulled out my trusty book. There was nothing like lounging poolside with a good bit of literature.
• As I flicked onto my current page and nestled back to re-join the tales of a place far away from where I currently was, I immersed myself into the plot of the book. As I was getting to the part where the main character was about to fall into the arms of the man she was in love with, I was distracted by the two women who were sat nearest to me. Not wanting to look at them, and still staring at the page in front of me to not seem like I was earwigging on their conversation, their words pricked my attention:
• “You don’t see a peach like that often,” the first woman remarked.
• “If I was ten years younger and my husband wasn’t on this holiday with me, then I’d be very tempted to give him a good go.” The second woman chuckled, with the first joining in, and call me nosey, but I wondered what in the world they were talking about.
• Through the corner of my eye, with my sunglasses unhelpfully blocking some of my peripheral vision, I did notice them eyeing someone intently across the pool.
• Lowering my book and peering over the top of my sunglasses, I immediately recognised the physique of Jace, wandering poolside with all eyes on him.
• The general swoon could be felt throughout, with the odd hint of annoyance coming from the male variety, as they struggled to keep their own masculinity intact, and the attention of their female counterparts.
• Getting to the diving board, Jace made his way up the ladder with ease. The flex of his muscle rippled with every movement, and he was a visual feast for the eyes. Walking along the board, his swim shorts clung to the most distracting of regions, and my breath hitched as I prayed that he didn’t belly-flop into the pool and spoil the perfection of the moment.
• Taking two elegant jumps at the end of the diving board, with his arms elevated above him, he gracefully cascaded through the air, puncturing the water below with the tips of his fingers and cutting into the blue aqua with barely a ripple being present. It was like watching a sharp blade gliding through delicious, velvety chocolate cake. Yum.
• With my book effectively abandoned, the silhouette of the most beautiful man flickered under the ruffled water, with him resurfacing further away. As he burst through the surface of the water and swept his hair back, I let out the breath that I never knew I was holding in until now.
• With that movement, the collective swoon started to disperse, as women began to avert their attention from the pool, and the men began to weirdly parade around to try and retrieve a morsel of their egos.
• The two women beside me had gone back to twittering among themselves, albeit a lot quieter than before, and for a moment I didn’t know where to put myself. The heat seemed to have been turned up a notch, and my mind wasn’t in the right place to continue reading my book.
• Fixing my sunglasses back in place, I decided to go and get another drink from the bar. I needed cooling down after the unexpected show.
• Fixing myself up and placing my sarong back on, I grabbed my unfinished book and stood from the sun lounger, making my way to the walkway at the side of the pool and making sure that I didn’t bump into anyone around me. These sunglasses weren’t the best thing to see properly in, and I knew that I should’ve bought the brown tinted ones instead of the black.
• Clinging onto my book and clacking along in my flip flops, my path of travel was suddenly blocked by someone in front of me. Looking up, my heart skipped a beat as Jace stood there, glisteningly wet and smiling down at me.
• “Hey, Becca,” he rasped in his sultry voice.
• “Oh, hey, Jace,” I replied, trying to sound as cool as he did.
• “How are you enjoying your day?” he asked, locking that intense stare into me again.
• “Er, yeah, it’s been nice. You?”
• “Average.” He smirked. “I would like to take you out to dinner tonight.”
• Wow, don’t hold back.
• “Is that a question, or are you telling me?” I chuckled.
• “Hmm… I’m not quite sure.” He grinned at me in a delicious way, and I could sense the bore of eyes from onlookers on us both. “Six o’clock?”
• “I may be busy,” I teased.
• “Or you may have just freed up your evening,” he replied.
• “Possibly.”
• Realising that I was playing straight into his hands, and not coming across as remotely as cool as he was, I had to tone this down.
• “So…?” he wondered, eyeing me to try and trace my thoughts.
• “Listen, Jace…” I began, starting to move away from him, “I’ll have to check my schedule.”
• Breezing past him, I wanted to remain in control of this situation. I had not long been heartbroken, and I didn’t want to be messed around by anyone else. My self-confidence was shattered and the last thing I needed was more man-mess.
• “Becca, wait…!” Jace voiced, reaching his arms out to me.
• “Wha…?” I wondered, turning my head to him as I stepped forwards and for a split second realised that I couldn’t find the floor with my left foot.
• Time seemed to stand still, as I toppled to the side and the image of Jace, trying to reach out to me but not being quick enough, went further out of view. A huge splash, followed by a rapid bubbling noise, hit my hearing as I waved my arms about under the water of the swimming pool.
• Unable to get my bearings, I thrashed about the water whilst wondering whether this was how I was going to die: On a luxury holiday. In Barbados. In the swimming pool. In front of one of the hottest guys on the planet.
• Lovely. Fan-bloody-tastic.
• Making out a figure crashing through the pool next to me, the arms of my saviour tucked themselves under my armpits and pulled me out of the water. Coughing and spluttering ensued, as my hair unattractively clung to my face like a wet mop, and I sought to catch my breath.
• Taking me in his arms, Jace carried me out of the pool and sat me by the edge, as I struggled to look like a normal human being that wasn’t nearly choking to death.
• “Are you okay, Becca?” Jace asked, wiping the hair out of my face and looking concerned.
• If it wasn’t for the stinging sensation in my eyes, or the fact I couldn’t breathe properly, I definitely wasn’t okay – I was dying of embarrassment. People were staring, and a group of hotel guests had gathered around me. Some were asking Jace if I was okay, and some were only there for the drama of the situation.
• I was such an idiot.
• As my breathing normalised and my eyes began to focus again, I spotted my sunglasses and book floating on the surface of the pool. They could stay there. Those hazardous glasses were why I couldn’t see properly in the first place, and I was never wearing them again.
• “Let’s get you inside,” Jace ordered, picking me up by my hands.
• “No, no, it’s fine,” I muttered, feeling my bikini bottoms wedge themselves up my butt region as I stood up. “I need to get changed. You stay here and enjoy your day.”
• Feeling the weight of my sopping wet outfit cling to me, I moved away from him whilst wondering how much chlorinated water I’d managed to swallow. I knew I’d wanted to cool down, but that was ridiculous.
• “6pm?” he called after me.
• “Whatever.” I sighed, waving a hand back at him.
• Squelching through the hotel toward my room, the embarrassment consumed me. As I trudged along and my flip flops unhelpfully decided to make farting noises as my feet squelched about in them, I did wonder whether drowning would’ve been easier. At least I wouldn’t have had to have done this walk of shame afterwards.
• Guests and hotel staff were looking at me like I’d gone mad and partook in a rendition of “Jaws” in the swimming pool. Nope, I’d just gone arse-first instead, making a prat out of myself (again), in front of the most delicious man.
• What was wrong with me? Every time I was around Jace, all sense of behaving like a normal, sane person, went out of the window. I had never been like that around my ex, Scott. If anything, I was always the one who was cool, calm and in control. When we first met, I remember being as cool as a cucumber, and at first, I hadn’t even liked him that much. He’d had to chase me, but then again, I probably should’ve kept running.
• Ironically, after nearly drowning in the stuff, my next port of call was to get a shower to clean up before drying and changing my attire. Peeling off the bikini that seemed to be glued on when wet and was rolling up into a ball around my kneecaps, I finally got into the shower to wash off the stench of chlorine.
• As the bubbles ran down my skin, I thought over the prospect of dinner with Jace. I couldn’t deny it – I was insanely attracted to him. But it was all so quick. Then again, it was hardly a marriage proposal – it was just dinner.
• After this holiday I would never see him again, so what was the harm in having a little fun to get over my most recent heartbreak? It would be a nice distraction, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had been wined and dined. A part of me knew that even being asked to dinner by Jace was a huge compliment, and it was doing my battered self-confidence the world of good.
• It was time to enjoy this holiday.
• ********
• Side-lining my promise of enjoyment, I didn’t dare show my face for the rest of the afternoon. I kept replaying the hideous pool scene over in my mind, and also wonder who had been witness to it. I couldn’t make out who had been around me at the time, due to my blurry vision after being slam-dunked into the water. That was always a marvellous way to start a holiday.
• Instead, I kept to my stunningly beautiful suite, which to be fair, wasn’t a bad way to spend an afternoon. I spent my time lazing on the balcony area, surrounded by luscious views of golden shores and sun swept landscapes, and apart from the sight of Jace half-naked and me nearly drowning, was the only other thing to take my breath away. It would have been lovely to have spent my time here with a special someone, but that was not meant to be.
• Because I was so relaxed and feeling the most carefree than I had in the past couple of days, the time seemed to slip happily away through to the evening, and it was nearing the time of my dinner with the guy who had saved me earlier on. Perhaps I should thank him – or avoid the subject which made me never want to look him in the eye ever again.
• Donning a long black evening dress, I placed my silver necklace on and then realised it was the one that Scott had bought me. At the time of packing, I’d brought with me items that he’d purchased for me, as a form of sentimental value of this being our honeymoon. Yuck.
• Then again, there were shops around this area, so tomorrow I wanted to go shopping and buy something new to cheer myself up. It was to treat myself, but also because I didn’t want any reminders of Scott dangling from my neck ever again.
• Wearing my blonde hair down in soft waves and fixing up my make-up, I was good to go, and could sense a hint of butterflies being present in the pit of my stomach. It was blatantly obvious that Jace could have any woman he wanted, so why me?
• Taking a look in the mirror, I suppose I was relatively attractive. To be fair, I’d never really put that much thought into it. When I’d been comfortable in a relationship and settled, it had left me with a sense of false relaxation, and perhaps the effort to look as good for Scott had faded.
• Scott hurting me in such a way had left me feeling insecure, and now because of him, I was doubting my own attractiveness and wondering why I hadn’t been enough. Cheaters didn’t realise the weight of their actions, and even though I’d always classed myself as being a strong woman, that inner strength had taken a hit.
• Did I need a man’s approval in order to feel worthy? I didn’t think so. So why was I finding myself suddenly analysing whether there was anything wrong with me? Or perhaps whether there was something that I had done, which had led him to stray?
• My train of thought was interrupted by a rapping sound on the door of the suite, so snapping out of my mind chatter, I gave myself one last glance over in the mirror – noting the more serious expression that had swept across my face – and went to answer the door.
• Opening it, Jace was stood there wearing a tuxedo and looking a lot calmer than I felt.
• “Hi, Jace,” I beamed.
• “Becca, you look stunning,” he complimented, flashing me a gorgeous, pearly smile. “I recalled that I hadn’t arranged a meeting place with you, so I thought I would come to you.”
• “Oh right, okay,” I fumbled, grabbing hold of my clutch bag.
• “Shall we?” he asked, placing his arm out to me.
• I guess we were. Taking his arm before closing the hotel door behind me, there was no time for anymore butterflies.
• Breezing through the hotel together, Jace chatted lightly about his day, and I couldn’t help but notice the reaction of ladies around us. Jace seemed to, without even knowing it, command their attention. The women around us couldn’t peel their eyes away from him, yet it wasn’t hard to see why. Jace had a presence, and combined with his angelic looks, was enough to distract anyone. I found it fascinating to observe, yet I did wonder whether they were wondering what the heck he was doing with me.
• Getting to the hotel restaurant, it was sublime. The atmosphere was rich in fine dining and decadent relaxation, and we were shown to a nearby table by a sharply dressed waiter.
• Jace insisted on pulling out my seat for me, and it was already nice to be treated like a lady, by a man who already seemed a lot more refined and gentlemanly than my ex. Scott was never big on the chivalry department – he thought being gentlemanly was letting me open the door for myself because, “women wanted equality.” I should’ve known then. Equality was all well and good but seeing as at the time of that statement I was carrying about six bags of food shopping, was not good. What a douche.