Chapter 2 You Have To Move On

• You have to move on
• Laurie Ston.
• I'm sitting on the sofa in my bedroom, enveloped in a cloud of sadness and disappointment. The jars of chocolate left on the coffee table, the wet tissues thrown on the floor, and the crumbs of food dropped on the sofa with a Laurie I barely know. I'm clearly heartbroken, and all that was left was a painful reminder of my dreams and of my defeat.
• It had been a week since I'd broken up with Josh and told him never to look me in the face again. He didn't even know why; he asked me to come back; he begged me many times. In his mind, I had never seen him with his boss, and it was still his secret. But I was stronger and didn't give in, even though I loved him. I wouldn't be made a fool of.
• I lived with that traitor, and now I'm back at my grandfather's house, a simple house, but I grew up here, and I swear I missed it; this was my home; I always felt good here.
• My grandfather's house is further away from the city, in a small neighborhood with kind neighbors.
• I brought all my things to my grandfather's house and tried not to think about Josh anymore, even though my heart was broken. It had been three years with him.
• There, sitting on the sofa in my room, I remembered that idiot. I didn't want to, but Josh from the past popped into my mind. I met him in my last year of high school, and I was charmed by him. We became friends, and after a few months I fell in love and declared myself and kissed him. Josh was funny, intelligent, seductive, and, of course, very romantic. He always had time for me; we went out to dinner every weekend, and in the middle of the week we would eat together after he got home from work. We slept together; he never left anything missing in the house. He bought that apartment; we were engaged; we were going to get married. As I watched the movie on TV, I ran my hand over the ring with the white stone.
• I was engaged; I was going to get married. I'd been with him for three years; for me, it was everything. I did everything in our relationship, but for him, it was nothing. He didn't love me... he was a bastard, after all. Tears streamed down my face, I was finished, my eyes were swollen from crying so much, and all I'd eaten that week was junk food, chocolates, snacks, sweets... I was awful.
• I sighed deeply, wiped away the tears, and watched the romance I love, which portrays the pure love of a couple, the overwhelming passion, a gentleman who does everything for the one he loves—that's how all men should be.
• When I saw the scene where he declares his love to her on the screen, my phone rang, interrupting my spiral of nostalgia and sadness. I sat up straight on the sofa, staring at the screen, seeing Clarice's name flashing. My best friend, who had always studied with me, but who now lived in another city because of the man she met who changed her whole life.
• She had moved away a year ago, leaving me alone and abandoned. She was getting married in a week, and, ever since she found out I'd broken up with Josh, she'd been calling me every day to see how I was. It showed me that she had always been there for me and would always be there for me. I took a deep breath and, trying to contain my discouragement, answered the call.
• “Hello, friend.” She sang on the other end of the phone. “How are you today?” She asked, and I could feel the love in her words.
• “I'm very well.” I said, closing my eyes and ignoring my lie.
• “You lie like shit.” She said.
• “And you should be worried about your marriage.” I said. “How are things going? The preparations?”
• “I didn't call to talk about me.” She sighed on the other end of the line.
• “But it should be. Mate, you're getting married. It's not because I'm sad that I want to see you sad with me; I wish to see you happy and know the details of the most important day of your life.”
• “I love you; you know that?” she said in a tearful voice on the other end of the line. “That's why I want you here with me.”
• “I'd love to, really.” I snorted.
• “Then why don't you come?” She asked, in a burst of enthusiasm.
• “For breaking off my engagement, I'm poor and disappointed. You know that I help out with my grandfather's expenses now; since I've moved back in with him, I've noticed some overdue bills that he hasn't told me about.” I said, sighing softly. “And my job barely pays the bills and buys food; have you forgotten that it was Josh who paid most of my bills?” I said, feeling the bitterness of those words.
• I should be looking for another job instead of sitting on the sofa crying.
• “Mate, I'll pay for your ticket.” She said it resolutely. “Okay, I'll do you one better, since I'll have you here, I'm going to have a bachelor party, and I really want you here to have fun with me. One night of bachelorhood will be enough for you to forget about that scumbag. Oh, and I want you to be my godmother.”
• “Girlfriend, no. You're spending a lot of money on this wedding; I would rather not get in your way.” I whined.
• “That's an order, Miss Laurie, come.”
• “I'll think about it; now tell me how the details of your party are going...” I said at last.
• Clarice continued talking, describing the details of the weekend she had planned. It would be a week of parties and fun. And she kept insisting that I be there, part of the celebration that would mark a new phase in her life. As I listened to Clarice, a small spark of hope began to emerge in my heart. Perhaps this was the perfect opportunity to distract myself, to remind myself that life goes on even after a love disappointment. I knew I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by.
• After we finished talking, my heart started pounding at the idea, and on an impulse I decided that yes, I would go. Because I really wanted to see my friend again and get out of that depressing place for a while. I needed to have fun, celebrate my best friend's special day, and understand that, even though I'd been with Josh for three years, he wasn't my life. I couldn't reduce myself to that.
• “I'm not going to go on like this; it's been a week like this; just crying, that's enough,” I said to myself, sniffing my nose and taking the ring off my finger. I was going to sell it; maybe I could get some money out of it.
• I got up from the sofa and started a disposal operation. I was going to detach myself from that feeling, if only through the force of hatred. With the clear image of him having sex with his boss on the table, I started to clean my room; he didn't deserve me.
• I took out the food that had been lying around for a week, the tissues, the jars, and did a general clean, just as I would do in my heart. He must have been making out with his boss at my expense.
• Then I'd do better. I would get him out of my head, out of my heart. I would start again.
• I was on vacation, and so I would be able to travel, but I wouldn't go back to my job; it would just be another week of travel, then I would go back and look for a new job, then I would ask for the accounts and go on with my life as if nothing had happened. I would focus on myself. I didn't want Josh to show up at my job looking for me.
• I didn't answer his messages anymore; he sent them every day, wanting to meet me, but I just ignored his messages.
• I planned everything, packed my suitcase, and managed to sell the ring, making a bit of money.
• In the evening, Clarice emailed me the ticket she had bought for me.
• There was no way back; I had to go.
• I went to the backyard of the house, where my grandfather was, who was tending to his vegetable garden. As he received very little from his pension, he sometimes sold things from his garden.
• He was watering with a water can. I approached him about my trip but said that I would be back soon.
• I handed him some money to pay some bills; it was what I had in my savings account.
• “Thanks, granddaughter; you know I would rather not get in the way,” he said, his voice low. I nodded so that he wouldn't worry.
• I was going to take care of him; he was the only relative who took care of me and didn't tell me what he was going through. The bills he was behind on and how he was living, I would do anything for me and for him now.
• “Don't worry, Grandpa, everything will normalize, I promise. I'll be back soon; please take care.” He hugged me awkwardly and stroked my hair, saying goodbye.