Chapter 28

• I told them if they find a guy who can get me hot then I will do it. However, I know this is not an easy feat. If it was I would have done it years ago. Apparently it should be someone I don’t know, but the thought of that scares me a bit. What if I get back to his house and he’s a serial killer? There are a few guys who I do know and sort of like and I know like me, maybe I should do it with one of those. I can’t believe I am even considering this. I sound like Abbie. She knows she will have sex later that night—by lunchtime that day, it’s totally preconceived. The poor bastard she picks is in for it, whether he likes it or not. Though I’m sure he’s not complaining. Can I really do this? I shuffle forward in the line at the bar while I think. Let’s recap, I haven’t had sex in seven years. I think I’m in love with a total asshole who fucks multiple strippers at the same time. I close my eyes as I imagine the orgy. The human imagination can be so cruel. I shiver in contempt. I need to move on, and I think the girls might be right. I do need to take control of my life and I intend on doing it tonight. How in the hell am I going to get through it? I look around the room for divine intervention as I take a deep breath. Alcohol, that’s the ticket. If I get drunk enough maybe it will take the edge off, calm my nerves so to speak. My turn comes around and I shuffle up to place my order.
• “What will it be?” asks a pretty girl with massive boobs. Um, am I really going to do this? Oh shit, fuck it.
• “I’ll have six Tequilas please.”