Chapter 4

• Lana
• “You didn’t even have any money to bet.”
• The balance in our bank account was four dollars and twenty-six cents. I knew that for a fact. Yesterday morning, my debit card got declined when I tried to buy a venti coffee. It was a good thing I was getting paid tomorrow. “So where did the money come from?”
• He rubs the back of his neck, slow and nervous. His light skin turns pink, the freckles standing out more than usual—those he got from his Irish side. “I told you. Danny said it was a sure thing. I took out a small loan.”
• “What?” I yell. “So you’re gambling again, and now it’s with borrowed money?”
• F.M.L.
• He grabs my hands. His eyes look scared. “Things are bad, honey. I didn’t want to stress you out, but I already owe more…”
• “How much?” I ask.
• “Twenty K.”
• It feels like all the air leaves my chest at once. My mouth falls open. I try to breathe, but my lungs won’t cooperate. “Are you serious, Dad? How are we supposed to pay that?” Twenty thousand dollars is more than I make in a year at the bakery.
• He drags his hands down his face and lets out a tired breath. “That’s why I did it. Don’t you get it? It was our only chance.”
• “But you lost, didn’t you?” I say. “So now what do we owe?”
• “Five more.”
• “Hundred or thousand?” I shout.
• “Thousand.”
• “Damn it, Dad.”
• My eyes burn, but I force the tears back. How am I ever supposed to leave this place? Even with scholarships, it suddenly feels impossible. Then a thought creeps in, cold and sharp. “Who did you borrow the money from?”
• “I don’t really know,” he says. “Danny handled it.”
• “And when do you have to pay it back?” My chest tightens.
• The Golden Phoenix was into everything bad. If he owed them, we were in real trouble. Everyone knew how violent they were. That would explain the deadbolt. And why Dad wouldn’t even go to the corner store.
• “End of the week.”
• Cazzo.
• Shit.
• Fuck.
• I pace around the tiny kitchen, muttering curses with every step. “You need to find out who you owe. If it’s the Golden Phoenix, maybe I can do something. I can talk to Xander Chen and—”
• Oh, hell. He would want something in return.
• Would I really tie myself to a man I hate just to save my dad?
• I shake my head hard and push the thought away. There are plenty of loan sharks in Bellavista. It doesn’t have to be his crew. It probably isn’t. Right?
• “I’ll talk to Danny,” Dad says. “I was supposed to give him the money, but I’ll tell him I’m stuck.” He squeezes my hand. “We’ll figure it out.”
• His stomach growls loudly. I look at his stained T-shirt and feel a twist in my chest. He needs to eat. I check the pantry. Nothing. Not even pasta. Mom always made sure we had pasta.
• Damn it.
• I really don’t want to run into Xander again. Not until I know who this loan came from.
• Pasta. Thank God. “Mrs. Moretti made spaghetti and meatballs. I’ll just go grab it.”
• “Thanks, honey.” He smiles, and for a second, I see something real break through the haze. “I’m sorry, Lana. I swear I did this for us. I hate that we live like this. Your mom would’ve been so disappointed in me.”
• His voice shakes. He stares at the floor.
• Most days, I can barely remember who my dad used to be. Then moments like this show up. They hurt more than anything.
• “I’ll be right back.”
• “Mm,” he mumbles, not looking up.
• I head for the door, forcing myself not to drag my feet. No matter what I do, it feels like we’re cursed. Every time I think things might get better, something slams shut in my face.
• Out in the hallway, I lean against the peeling wall and let out a slow breath. One tear slips out anyway. I blink fast and stop it before more can fall. Once Dad eats, I can hide in my room and let it all out.
• The deadbolt clicks behind me, sharp and loud. My heart jumps.
• Relax, Lana.
• Cazzo.
• We are so screwed.