I don’t think I’ve ever felt a more confusing blend of emotions. My wife, Annie, just confessed that she loves me and I don’t know which emotion overpowers all the others. I do know that the main emotion is anger. I flipped out back there. When she started pleading with me, I snapped. How dare she? I told her not to let this happen. I was very clear with her that she isn’t to fall in love with me. I laid everything out in detail and she went and did it anyway. I should seriously punish her for it. The quick thought brings a small smile to my face that practically fades as soon as it appears.
I can’t do that. I can’t go back there an punish her. What kind of a person would I be then?
Sure, I told her not to fall in love, but she clearly did-- how, I have no idea. I mean, I’m an asshole in general. I’m not an easy person to love. But then again, Annie is. She sweet, and kind, and just as submissive as I like. Maybe pretending to love her wouldn’t be a bad thing...
No. I don’t do love and I’m sure as hell not going to fake it for her benefit. I’ve said my peace, and she’s said hers. We’ll just have to continue this relationship in more of a businesslike manner. I’ll have to be sure the lines don’t get any more blurred and I sure as hell have to make sure to keep my obsession with her in check.
It’s ridiculous really, this obsession of mine. Even now, I want nothing more than to go back to her, hold Annie in my arms, and lie to her. I want to tell her I love her too and that I never want her to leave me. I wish I could be the kind of man who could hold her close and tell her all the things she wants to hear, but I can’t. That’s just not me.
She deserves better than me, who can only offer her lies and false declarations. Annie deserves everything. As much as it hurts, she deserves to leave me after she has my heir and find someone new, someone who will giver her everything she wants. Annie deserves a man who isn’t afraid to tell her every day how much he loves her, how sexy she is, a man who will give her a loving family.
That will never be me.
I run my hands through my hair with a sigh as I walk through the palace halls. I know I should give her space but I want nothing more than to go to her and take everything I said back. That’s a dangerous thought and it’s something I know I can never do. No matter what. It’s better this way. Annie will learn the harsh truth, she’ll learn her lesson much like a child learns not to touch a hot stove, and then we’ll both be better off.
Yes... this is a good thing. This is just a little speedbump. Once Annie learns then we both won’t have to deal with stupid feelings getting in the way. I’m guessing we’ll grow closer and we can improve on our already explosive sexual relationship. I feel myself start to harden in my pants at the thought.
I want to fuck her so badly. I want to shove My Little American up against the wall and fuck her so hard she won’t even be able to speak, let alone tell me she stupidly loves me. I grin. Yes. Once I get back to her, that’s what we’ll do. I’ll make her suck me off for a bit first. I love seeing her bright blue eyes looking up at me while she sucks my cock on her knees.
Like a splash of cold water an image of her crying as she begs me to admit I love her back invades my twisted fantasy and the arousal dies immediately. What kind of person am I? Clearly not a good one.
How can I think of sex when she’s clearly upset? How can I picture turning her tears of sadness into tears of ecstasy and orgasmic release as she wriggles beneath my vibrator, begging me to stop? I truly am a sick bastard.
I pass royal attendants and maids as I mindlessly walk down the hallways. I don’t know how long I’ve been at it, I’ve been to lost in thought. It feels wrong, walking further and further away from Annie, but I know I must do it. She needs her space, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, so do I. I see two maid laughing and chatting and I shoot them a dirty look. They both immediately straighten their spines and curtsey before swiftly getting back to work. I grin to myself. If this is the power I have over people as Crown Prince, I can only imagine how people will act around me when I’m finally King. People will bow at my feet and follow my every command.
Once again, an image of Annie bowing before me creeps into my mind and I physically shake my head to get rid of it. Who am I kidding? There’s only one person I want bowing and following my commands... and she’s currently in distress.
Before I know what I’m doing, my feet have already taken me half way back through the palace, towards my--no our--quarters, they haven’t just been mine for a while now. Everything I once called my own, is now also hers, after all, she is my wife. That brings a smile to my face. Wife. I really like the sound of that.
But enough of this. It’s time I go fix what she broke. We need to talk this over like adults. If I just explain to her how I feel about the matter and why she can’t harbor these feelings towards me, then we can move forward stronger than ever-- a unified front vying for the crown.
In no time, I’m standing in front of the door to our shared suite. I rest my hand on the door handle, fully ready to just barge in when I stop and decide to knock instead. I’m not sure why, it’s a completely uncharacteristic behavior, it is my room after all, but I do nonetheless.
What’s even more interesting is that there’s no answer.