Chapter 24

• Freya assured me that I could explore the castle freely. To help, she even sketched a simple map so I wouldn’t get lost if I decided to take a stroll. Fortunately, after spending an entire day wandering those seemingly endless corridors, I’d managed to familiarize myself with a few key areas. At least now, I could reliably locate the dining room where I’d shared breakfast with Hadrian and the patio where fresh air offered a welcome reprieve. Most importantly, I could return to my chamber without losing my way—a small but significant victory.
• Despite the castle’s grandeur, it didn’t take long for the novelty to wear thin. Within hours, I found myself stifled by the monotony. Everyone else seemed to have a purpose, some task to occupy their time, while I was left adrift. Idleness had always been my nemesis, and while I thought a break from work might be restorative, the abundance of unstructured time only worsened my restlessness. The quiet allowed too much room for unwelcome thoughts, dragging me deeper into a spiral I wasn’t prepared to face.
• I’d read that people who endured trauma often sought out therapists to help confront their inner demons. My only available confidant was Freya—a half-vampire I wasn’t yet sure I could trust. For now, self-diagnosis seemed safer than baring my soul to a stranger. But based on the limited knowledge I’d gleaned from psychology books, I was far from "normal." I wasn’t grieving; I was angry. Years spent running and refusing to connect emotionally with anyone had seemingly left me broken beyond repair.