Chapter 4 Am I Not Good Enough?

• BLAKELY,
• I threw myself above my bed and cried silently. I didn’t know where the regrets were coming from. I was starting to question myself if I was still doing the right thing? Were those activities really helpful to me? It had been awhile and I was still tied with the ghost of the past.
• ‘I don’t think so… I don’t know.’
• I wasn’t sure anymore. Remembering how Thorne looked at me with disgust, I feel disgusted about myself too. I started blaming myself again. I was the one who ruined myself, why was I putting all the blame to Jaxon?
• And I shouldn’t be surprised Thorne felt disgusted about me. Because I think dirty of myself, either.
• I stopped sulking when my phone suddenly rang.
• “Are you coming?” Ashton was on the other line, asking why I wasn’t at the bar tonight.
• And since I felt rebellious right now, I quickly answered him.
• “Of course, name the place,” I answered in haste.
• Ashton mentioned the place. “I’ll wait for you in the lobby,” he added.
• “Sure,” I quickly moved and went to the place Ashton told me.
• Surely my parents will be late tonight. They would never know where I went. Well, since when did it matter to them? They didn’t care about me at all. They weren’t there when I needed them the most. They were always busy making money.
• THORNE,
• I annoyingly took my overcoat. My parents are probably looking for me at the party. It took me a while before I gathered myself back.
• It has been eight months since the last time I saw Blakely. The surprise that I knew her was evident in her beautiful face.
• Well, she didn’t know we'd crossed paths back then. She was totally wasted that night. And I was grateful I came on time, or she might have ended with some jerks at the bar.
• “What the hell are you doing with your life, Blakely?” I asked inwardly.
• I was angry, but I couldn’t get totally angry at her. She acted like a trash and a c*ck tease while flirting with me. But the touch of class was still there.
• She looked so delicate, elegant and so sexy.
• A classy bitch!
• I couldn’t fight the urge to touch her when she was the one who made the first move. I’d been waiting a long time for this moment. Men in my circle were fantasizing about her. And no one knew what I did to prevent her dark secret from blowing up.
• I’d been through a lot of fights just to stop those men who tried to blackmail and ruin her reputation. I spent millions to stop them even before they made a move.
• Sometimes, I wanted to just wring her neck to stop her from doing all of it. But her neck was too sexy, might as well I tongued it down.
• I groaned at the thought. “I already did it. And I want more of her. She was devastatingly beautiful.”
• I force myself to calm down as I look back to the time when I first met her.
• Years ago, she was just a sophomore and I already graduated from senior high school. It was Maddie’s birthday and the next day, I would be flying to Europe for my studies.
• Blakely came and greeted Maddie. I was captivated by her innocent beauty back then. I wanted to approach her and introduce myself, but my current girlfriend, Sofia, didn’t want to leave me alone.
• Yet, throughout the whole time, my eyes never left her.
• Blakely grew up to be more and more beautiful. Her sweet smile grew to an alluring one.
• I never got the chance to meet her, since I became busy with studies and business. I was trained early in our business empire. But I made sure to stay tuned in her life.
• Women came and went in my life, but Blakely never left my mind. I still want her even after all this time. And even though she changed for the worse, I still wanted her.
• I had never felt such a forceful feeling of touching anyone, before. None of those women I got laid with, had ever made me.
• I couldn’t blame those men who went crazy over fantasizing her?
• ‘Ugh, damn it! I forbid them to fantasize about her!’
• I quickly left the rooftop and hurried to the banquet. I smiled and greeted the guest along the way. But my eyes wandered, looking for someone.
• ‘Blakely wasn’t here. Where the hell did she go?’
• ‘She must be in someone else’s bed! Fck it!’
• I couldn’t render myself. That must be the closest reason why she wasn’t here. And I couldn’t understand her. What must be the reason why she was wasting her life? She had everything—money, family and a good life.
• Was it because of her long dead ex-boyfriend? But I still couldn't understand why she would waste her life for someone who was already dead. Surely, that man would not like her living that way though.
• ASHTON,
• “Oh, fck, Blakely!”
• I was out of breath. Blakely was indeed great in pleasuring a man. She flirtatiously moaned while she positioned on top of me. The way her soft, warm body touched mine brought a delicious sensation in me. I was burning with desire–desire to own her.
• I could feel her full breast against me, her fine and aroused nips were making a smooth grind against my wide chest.
• And it almost made me crazy. I couldn’t wait to enter her. But no… I need to be patient. This woman wanted great pleasure and I would give her what she wanted.
• ‘But what was happening now was like a total opposite,’
• She’s the one pleasuring me. Wild and wanton. As if all she wanted was to dominate me.
• ‘Well, that was not a surprise to me. She was born wealthy. And wealthy people dominate the world. People like her choose this kind of lifestyle, and I had nothing against it. As long as I was enjoying it.’
• Blakely started a hand job and all I could do was groan.
• “Enjoying it, baby?” She asked me lustfully.
• She was so lovely and alluring. And I was near to getting insane if I could not taste her right now!
• “Fck!” I cursed under my breath when she finally claimed my hardness.
• Right that moment, I realized she wasn’t an expert. But the grinding of her teeth against my length was like tiny volts that electrified me. It aroused every single part of me. It surprised and excited him.
• My whole body was raging in great pleasure, I could have reached my climax if only she didn’t let go.
• “Am I not good enough, Thorne?” In dazed drugged eyes, she asked me.
• I was about to answer her when I realized something.
• “Thorne?” I gritted my teeth, I was greatly insulted.
• “So, there was another man in your head while you were doing me? That was the greatest insult I had ever received, Blakely!”
• And Blakely seemed to wake up from her dazzling dream.
• Confusion crossed her eyes. I didn’t know what really happened but I just found out Blakely was dressing up.
• “What the hell, Blakely? Are you going to leave just like that?”
• I angrily grabbed her by the arm and she immediately flinched. I wasn’t sure myself but I saw something in her.
• There was fear mirrored in her eyes.
• ‘What the hell is wrong with her?!’