Chapter 7 Saving It For Him

• It was my dad.
• He lunged at me from the dining table, kicking the leg of the stool I was sitting on. I stumbled and fell backward, toppling with the stool.
• He took a step forward, swinging his fist toward my face.
• In that moment, it felt like time had rewound. The dad who used to hit people whenever he got drunk was back.
• The only difference was, before, he used to hit two people. Now, it was just one.
• His fists and kicks rained down like a storm. I curled up, covering my head with both arms, my body folded up like a shrimp.
• Punches and kicks landed everywhere.
• Most of the blows hit my arms, back, and legs, but even so, I could feel blood running from my nose and the metallic taste of it in my mouth.
• “Sl*t, sl*t...” I heard him cursing between kicks, each insult spat out with another strike.
• I wanted to get up and shout back. I wanted to say, if I was a sl*t, you were the one who brought me into this world.
• At that time, I didn't fully understand the word “sl*t.”
• I also wanted to yell, “You'd better kill me today, because if I don't die, I'll never see you as my dad again!”
• It was a shame that at that time, all I could do was curl up into a ball and silently endure the violence, utterly helpless.
• I thought I was going to die, especially when he kicked my side. It hurt so much I almost blacked out.
• I didn't remember how long the beating lasted that night. All I know is I was rescued by several neighbors who banded together to kick the door down and pull me out.
• “Soren Judd, look at her! This is your daughter! Are you trying to kill her?”
• A man was shouting at my dad. From the voice, I think it was Damian from next door.
• Someone picked me up, and I heard someone else crying.
• I must have looked terrible. My face was covered in blood, my hair was matted, and my arms were bruised all over.
• That night, I slept over at Hazel's place next door.
• Maybe it was because I got beaten so often that no one even thought to take me to the hospital, despite all the people who had helped rescue me.
• Years later, when I had my first full-body checkup, the doctor in the ultrasound room asked me, “Has your right liver ever been injured?”
• I was bewildered.
• She said, “It looks like you had an injury there but don't remember it. There's a large calcified spot.”
• It was then I remembered. It must have been from that night—it was on the right side, and the pain lasted for days.
• Later, I thought it was a good thing it was winter. I was wearing so many layers. Otherwise, who knows if I would've survived that beating.
• How could a girl from a background like mine ever be the same as other girls?
• Whenever I saw other girls laughing so brightly, I couldn't help but feel jealous.
• I knew the teachers thought I was withdrawn. I knew my classmates thought I was strange. Some said I was stuck-up.
• Stuck-up.
• What a flattering term! If only I weren't what I was.
• (Look at me, always digressing when I start telling a story. Let's get back to what happened after that night.)
• After that first time with Oberon, I stayed at school for a week. It was only after that week that I went back to the bar.
• It was the same small room that belonged to Madeline.
• Most people there were smoking, and the room was filled with a haze of smoke.
• “Sophia, where've you been? We thought you got yourself a sugar daddy!”
• “Not at all! I had exams this morning. I've been studying at school!” I replied.
• “How did the exam go?”
• “Who knows? I copied from the guy next to me. If he got it right, so did I. If he messed up, I'm done for.”
• “Didn't you study for a whole week?”
• “Classical Corvainan Language and Literature. Six thick books, and we only covered two this semester. There are twenty-nine classical texts we have to memorize.”
• “Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?”
• “'The Raven' and 'Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night'. Ah, hand me one...”
• “What are you smoking for? All you do is puff on fake cigarettes, passing the smoke through your mouth and nose. It's a waste!”
• “You're all smoking. If I don't, I'll feel out of place!”
• “By the way, Mr. Zimmer was looking for you a few days ago,” Madeline suddenly chimed in. “He said if you showed up today, you should wait for him.”