Table of Contents

+ Add to Library

I'm Broken

I'm Broken


Update: 2022-12-16

Chapter 1 – Prologue

  • Ace
  • ‘Just jump and everything will be over. The pain the sorrow will end. What are you waiting? She left you, remember? Why did she leave? Because you are an idiot.
  • You know you are not good enough for her, but you went for it anyway. Now look at where you end up. Abandon and broken. One more steps and poof…everything ends. Just one more step’
  • A gust of wind brushes against my cheeks bringing back the memory of what happen a few hours ago.
  • “Let break up. I can’t take it anymore. Every day I hear from one person to another about how good you are in bed. I can’t take it anymore. Let me go, please. I want to be free.” Those are the last word she said to me before running out the door into another man arm.
  • Christine the person that mean everything to me, is in my best friend arms. Brian, my best friend for the majority of my childhood, turned to me with smug on his face. Satisfy that she chooses him.
  • My heart shattered into a million pieces, as she sobbed and buried her head into his chest. Unable to bear the excruciating pain of betrayal, I took off into the unknown.
  • My heart sank and tears started to fall, as I remembered our story of us. I was a nerdy freshman at Mason High School. She was captain of the freshmen cheer leader, the queen of all freshmen.
  • Compared to her I was a nobody, but my feelings got the best of me, and I asked her out. I thought she was going to reject me, but she didn’t.
  • She agreed to go on the date with me and that is where our story begin. We were inseparable. For four years of high school, I had her right by my side. The whole time I’ve been faithful to her.
  • It all started with the senior party. We were invited to a senior party that night and I was naïve enough to go. Darlene the high school whore was there and in my drunken stupor I had a one-night stand with her.
  • Rumor began to spread, and we began to argued a lot. Senior year was one of the most stressful for the two of us. Yes, I cheated on her but that was a mistake.
  • She decided to stay though, and we made it through the end of senior year. I thought we were fine but what happened? Why did she do this to me? How did we turn out like this?
  • She means everything to me, but I failed her and lost her to my best friend. How am I going to live without her? I felt hopeless, defeated. But worst of all, I feel pain.
  • The immense pain of betrayal is unbearable. Then just jump and end it all. I laugh at myself. I must be the stupidest person on earth right now. Stupid, hopeless, and helpless.
  • Another gust of wind blew by as I looked down the 4-story building. “Heh, the drop is very tempting, I wonder if I jump will it hurt?” It won’t hurt. Trust me. The voice in my head whispers, mocking me.
  • It is still early in the morning, so there is no one to stop me. I will be long gone by the time anyone saw me. I chuckle, my body will probably be stiff and cold with blood splatter everywhere. The gruesome thought is quite tempting. I laugh maniacally.
  • I’m about to die and here I am thinking about how gruesome it would be. I took other steps over the bar and ready myself to end it all. The pain, the suffering, the betrayal, everything.
  • “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.” A girl voice caught my attention. My head turned left and right, but there is no one here. Is it my imagination or is this the calling of my guardian angel? Are they trying to save me?
  • Heh, as if what there to be saved? I fail to keep the person that meant everything to me. There is nothing to live for, other than pain and suffering. I can’t live like this.
  • Whatever they are trying to do won’t deter me. I took another step and closed my eyes. This is it; one last step and it is over.
  • “Wait, don’t jump yet. Talk to me first, then you can jump after.” The voice came again, calm, and nonchalant. I chuckle at the ironic statement. Such a serious demand but she didn’t want to put any effort to try to persuade me.
  • I did a 180 and came face to face with a mask figure. I cannot make out specific feature, but she had on black jeans and oversized hoodie. Her hair was kept neatly in a high bun and her eyes looked dead as the reaper.
  • Is she my guardian angel or the reaper here for my soul? Does guardian dress like this? You are going crazy. The voice in my head whispered, tauntingly. She looks as glo… but it was cut off.
  • “Come sit with me.” She said and patted the spot next to her. Why would I want to sit with you? Something about her is distracting me from my suicidal thought though.
  • “Come on, I won’t bite. Talk with me and then you can jump after. It won’t take long.” She offered again and patted the spot next to her.
  • Something about her calm and nonchalant demeanor calmed the pain and tightness in my chest. unbeknownst to me, both my feet had return to solid ground. I stood there and debated on whether I should go over there.
  • I had completely forgotten that I was about to die. Ironically, my foot listens and I begins to saunter over. Every word she said is pulling me toward her, which I don’t understand either.
  • I don’t know what is going on at this point, but one thing is for sure her scent. She carries the smell of light and soft lavender. It’s calming. I took a big whiff of it when another gust of wind blown. Creepy, I know but I like it.
  • “So, tell me why you want to end it all.” She turns to face me, for the first time I was captivated by her eye.
  • She had round almond eyes and her iris is a shade of ash gray. They are beautiful but they look sad, mysterious with a hint of pain. They look dead, with no life left in them.
  • I begin to wonder why those eyes express so much sadness. So much pain? At the same time trying to figure out the mystery that held me captive.
  • “Tell me what on your mind?” She blinks, pulling me away from my trance. The question brought back the feeling of pain and emptiness that lingered in my heart. Reminding me of everything that I’ve lost.
  • Well, if I’m going to die I might as well tell someone the reason. I told her everything. The pain engulfs my heart as I finish my story.
  • “Wow, you are such jerk.” She is deadpan. Her tone remains calm and nonchalant, which make it feel like I’m confessing my sins to God before I die. Oddly enough, I feel better after spilling everything out to this unknown person.
  • “I know you’re jerk but let me ask you this. Is she the only important person in your life? Is she the only person that love you?” I shake my head no. I have family and loved ones at home. Heck, they didn’t even know I was here, trying to end my life.
  • “Then why do you want to die so soon?” Such a serious question but she asks it calmly like it meant nothing.
  • She is right though. Why do I want to die so soon? Why? Why? Why? The question repeats in my mind until it hurts.
  • “I don’t know!” I shouted and curled into a ball of misery. “I don’t know.” I whimper, a sob threatens to escape my lips.
  • “I don’t know either but let me tell you why I think you shouldn’t die.” She paused and looked up at the sky. “In the vast world there are children that abandoned by the people that they love. There are people that doesn’t have a roof over their head. There are people that doesn’t get the luxury of having three meals a day. They have nothing but that still fight every day to live.” She sighed, taking a breather after the long speech.
  • “A wise woman once told me ‘Life is a precious, live it, laugh with it and love it.’ Think about it, there are people that love you, probably waiting for you come home. Life had more to offer then just one girl.” She stood on her feet and turned her back to me.
  • “Since I don’t want to see you do something foolish, I won’t be bothering you anymore. Goodbye.” She starts walking away.
  • “Wait! What is your name?” She halted and turned around.
  • “That doesn’t matter, does it?” She tilted her head. I could only imagine a smile under that mask.
  • She turns around as the sun rises, revealing the mark she that was kept in the shadow. Just like that her limited features and the scar on the back of her head are forever engraved in my memory.
  • I sit back down, rubbing the warm empty spot the mystery girl once sat on. As I watched the rising sun, I was reminded of my parents, grandmother Miriam and Aiden. My family and loved ones. This is it, my silver lining of life. I don’t know which devil took over me earlier, but I’m glad to be saved by an angel.
  • It had been three years since that faithful morning. After coming to terms that I would not die, it took me 2 months before I could talk to Christine again. We agreed to be friends and stay friends until today. It is better this way.
  • If she doesn’t have expectations then, she doesn’t get disappointed. As for me, I let myself loose. I had become the prince of the party and went home with a different girl every night. It was fun. After all, life is precious, I’m living, laughing, and loving it.