Chapter 4 A War Between Heart And Head

• [William’s POV]
• I don’t fight Elise as she begins to lead me away from my brooding cousin. While we move, I can feel his gaze burning into my back and know that when I return later, I’m going to have to deal with his wrath, but given the tense atmosphere between the two earlier, this was for the best in the end.
• “Thanks for playing along,” Elise sighs once we are out of earshot. “Sorry for using you.”
• As she speaks, she untangles her arms, but before she can fully release me, I reach out and grab her hand and hold it in place.
• “Are you just going to use me and throw me away?” I ask. “You and that sister of yours truly are the same.”
• “The same.” Elise repeats, her voice dripping with venom. “Then why was one of us kept and the other thrown away?”
• At her words, I feel my heart squeeze with sympathy.
• "Unfortunately, I’m not the one that can answer that,” I admit, knowing this wasn’t the answer she wanted. “You should go straight to the source.”
• “Mmmm.”
• Tugging herself free, Elise wraps her arms around herself as if she is trying to keep herself together, and the urge to comfort her slams into me, but before I can act on it, we reach the dungeon where Warren, my cousin’s best guard, is waiting.
• “About time,” he huffs, pulling a pair of cuffs from his hip. “I was about to go looking for ya.”
• “Were you jealous that I was with another man?” Elise teases, presenting her wrists. “Don’t worry, big guy, you’re my number one.”
• “Are you trying to sweet talk me?” Warren chuckles. “What is it that you’re wanting this time?”
• “Nothing.”
• Remaining silent, I watch as the two go back and forth while wondering what exactly is going on between them. Was he showing favoritism when it came to a prisoner, and if that was the case, was my cousin aware of it? And as this thought hits, I can't help but wonder why it even bothers me.
• “Is this the way you treat all the female prisoners?” I ask, giving a stern look. “How would Rosco feel if he saw you doing this?”
• The words are already out of my mouth before I realize exactly what I’m saying. And when Elise’s hurt gaze comes to rest on me, I feel a pang of pain shoot through me.
• Fuck. Was my uncle rubbing off on me due to all the training I was currently going through to take over Crystal Fang? Since when did I judge someone based on their past deeds? Even back then, I…
• No. I couldn’t let those thoughts free; otherwise, I would fall back into the sea of despair that I fought so hard each and every day to stay out of.
• “I’m sorry, sir,” Warren says quickly, ducking down to attach cuffs to Elise’s ankles. “Please, punish me as you see fit.”
• “That’s isn’t…” I begin, but stop as I find Elise is still giving me the same exact look that screams betrayal and hurt. “Nevermind. Please see that she finds her way back to her cell. I’ll be sure to keep this a secret between us as long as it doesn’t continue.”
• “Understood.”
• Nodding, I watch as Warren gives a salute before tugging at Elise’s cuffs so that he can begin to lead her away. Sighing, I keep my gaze fixed on her lonely back until she is out of sight.
• “Dammit,” I growl, running a hand through my hair in frustration. “Didn’t I swear I would never become like this?”
• ‘You promised her,’ Rue murmurs quietly. ‘Are you going to break your promise?’
• Flinching, I try to fight the images that begin to swirl in my mind.
• ‘I did,’ I confirm, letting Marigold’s beautiful face flash in my mind. ‘And I intend to keep my promise.’
• ‘How can you when you take the place of alpha?’
• He was right. To be an alpha meant to be a leader that the entire pack could depend on, and with that came punishing those who were in the wrong. I couldn’t be weak, despite what my heart told me.
• Turning, I begin to move while my head and heart begin the same war they have fought since Rosco got himself banished from Crystal Fang. Clearly, this was his fault, but I couldn’t hold it against him. He did all of this for his mate. If Marigold was still around, I would do the same.
• Goddess, this was frustrating. How could my good mood from earlier plummet so damn quickly? Man, I needed a drink and maybe a dose of something strong enough to chase away the growing pain.
• When I reach Denali’s room, I try to move past it but am stopped by Rosco emerging. His face is pinched, and there is the promise of death in his eyes. However, when he takes me in, all that disappears, and I know that what I’m feeling is written all over my features.
• “Everything alright?” He asks, eyeing me carefully. “Don’t tell me Elise tried something. If she did, I’ll be sure…”
• “I’m fine,” I lie, forcing a smile. “Just a bit tired after the excitement of the day. I think I’m going to head back to Crystal Fang.”
• For a moment, Rosco doesn’t speak as he processes my words, but when his gaze narrows and he reaches out and clamps a large hand on my shoulder, I know he isn’t going to let me escape that easily.
• “Didn’t I tell you in the past that you don’t have to pretend in front of me?”
• His words are both comforting and like tiny knives stabbing into me. Out of our entire family, he was the only one who was truly willing to allow me to show the pain I felt day in and day out since Marigold’s passing, but I knew if I let it out, he would end up blaming himself for putting me in a position to be remembering it too frequently.
• “You did,” I confirm, keeping my voice light. “And if something was wrong, I would certainly tell you. Now, you should get back to your family. I’m going to head back and have a drink, then get some sleep. I’ve got a busy day of training tomorrow, and if I oversleep, Uncle won’t forgive me.”
• “Are you sure?” Rosco pushes.
• “Yeah,” I assure him. “I’ll see you later.”
• Keeping my smile in place, I brush Rosco’s hand off my shoulder, and before he can say anything more, I continue on my way. Only when I finally step out of Emerald Moon’s packhouse do I turn my gaze to the sky so that I can take in the bloody moon above.
• "Touche, Goddess, touche."