Almost at the same time she let out a scream her hand also got released from her steering. She was approaching the bridge she knew from the sound of a train nearby and was aware that if she failed to stop the car now it would either fly into the railway track running parallely or go crashing into the river below. She tried hard to take her foot off the accelerator but her limbs had gone numb.
She knew this was going to last for sometime. And within this time she had to manuovre the vehicle to save it from swerving left or right. Fighting her innermost fears for survival was a trial she had been subjected to many times before, a curse she had been suffering since childhood. But it was not the cosy comforts of her home. Again on second thoughts, where was the difference ?
Till her parents were alive, she didn't doubt about her safety. She knew she could always fall back on them in her miseries. But now who bothered whether she lived or died ? With Upendra away from home most of the time she was left to look after herself. She couldn't blame him either. God had not gifted her with complete womanhood. There was nothing with which she could hold her husband back at home. If she would've been a mother, she could've passed the rest of her life watching her child grow. Her child could've been her shield to all those ridicule, hatred and indifference she was subjected to since her marriage.
Her whole world had been falling apart before her eyes and she was nothing other than a mute spectator. 'No. this can't be the end. No this is not real .. this can't be real' . she cried out but her scream only pierced the stillness of the night to pieces. There was no car in the vicinity - not a living soul who'd hear her .. only the sound of the wiper on her car's windscreen to challenge her patience .
As she opened her eyes, she found the scene to have changed again . There she was all alone - watching her parents inside a car - fear of death written on their faces; as they tried to open the door locks without result. The train was very near now and it's whistle almost deafened her ears. As the yellow beam of light illuminated the tracks, she found to her horror a girl standing on it. She knew she had to save her if she wanted to save herself. It was only a matter of chance now - her running steps versus the speed of the train. She had had these nightmares again and again. They had never left her.
Suparna was in a state of shock . The incident was too much for her to bear. So Shivangi had to visit the morgue to identify the bodies. More than the trauma of recognizing mangled flesh drabbed in white; accepting the unnatural, untimely deaths of parents was perhaps the most difficult task for children. It tortured her even today. She could still smell the incence her mother burnt before the idols everyday. It was the same smell which adorned their bodies - draped in white and carried on shoulders for the last rites. How peaceful the eyes of the deity looked at her home .. like the peace with which her parents rested on their pyres now.