Chapter 1 Prologue

• Tiffany
• It was in the second semester of our first year in college when I first noticed Travis Jason Vernon. He’s the kind of man that every girl in all year levels dreams to be with, and I admit that I’m one of his fangirls too.
• Who wouldn’t be, anyway?
• He has a good voice that you will never tire of hearing, is a good actor when it comes to role-playing and theater activities, and is one of the top students in the College of Mass Communication. He also has a smile that can make you fall for him instantly and a boy-next-door look.
• But I’m the type of person who quietly admires him from afar. I’m not like other girls who are bold in seeking attention and expressing their feelings for him.
• Maybe it’s because I grew up with strict parents. So, I have very little freedom when it comes to many things, including expressing my true feelings.
• If there’s one thing that I’m happy about in our family, it’s the genuine love between my parents. It’s just too perfect, and I wish that I could find that kind of love as well.
• There have been a few suitors who have shown interest in me. So, I tried diverting my attention to them. I know that it’s not easy to reach a man like Travis.
• But in the end, he’s still the one my eyes continue to search for; his handsome face fills my mind; his sweet voice I continue to hear; and his wide smile and sparkling eyes often appear in my dreams.
• At first, I thought he would just remain a dream and a figment of my imagination. Not until that unexpected night happened.
• We were in our second year of college, and it was a rainy evening in July when I discovered that my parents were planning to get a divorce out of the blue. I had just come home from school when I overheard them talking about that serious matter.
• I was devastated back then. Yes, I had heard and seen them argue many times before. But it never occurred to me that they would actually make that decision, since I believed that fighting is also part of a relationship and is just a normal thing.
• I ran away from home that night. I didn’t know where to go or who to talk to. I just kept running in the heavy rain. It seemed like even the weather sympathized with how I was feeling.
• I didn’t mind the weird stares I received from the people I passed by. Luckily, it was raining, so at least I wouldn’t look too pitiful.
• Eventually, my feet led me to a park next to a hill where there was a river. From where I stood, I could see the flickering lights of houses and towering buildings in the city.
• I decided to sit on a bench under a lush tree and continue crying. I hugged myself as I felt the strong, cold breeze. Thankfully, I was wearing a jacket.
• How could they make such a decision without even considering my feelings? I know I’m not a kid anymore, but they should still think about how I would feel. After all, I’m their only child.
• Apart from that, I used to admire their love story so much. So, I never expected that they would let go of their bond so easily.
• I could sense that I was starting to tremble because of the cold that enveloped my entire system, even though I hadn’t been exposed to much moisture due to my sheltered position.
• If only the cold could also envelop the pain I’m feeling right now.
• I am currently hunched over, gazing at the grass, when my vision was suddenly obstructed by a white handkerchief.
• I couldn’t help but feel anxious. It’s only now that I realize there was no one else here besides me when I arrived.
• But despite that, I mustered the courage to slowly lift my gaze towards the newcomer, accompanied by the rapid beating of my heart.
• All the fear and anxiety I felt suddenly faded when I saw who it was.
• He genuinely smiled at me. Suddenly, I forgot the reason why I’m in pain right now.
• This is actually the first time that he has noticed me. And to make it worse, he saw me crying in our first official encounter.
• I held my breath the moment our eyes met. For a second, it seemed like we were both lost in our own worlds.
• I couldn’t believe that he was actually standing right in front of me while the rain kept pouring and as he held an umbrella.
• “Are you okay? I’m sorry. I noticed you earlier heading towards the park. But it seems you didn’t see me because you were lost in thought, so I followed you. There aren’t many people here, especially at this time, so I got worried that something would happen to you.”
• He handed me a white handkerchief. “But I know that despite the heavy downpour, tears are also falling from your eyes.”
• I gasped at what he said. How could he...
• “To be honest, I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time. But I felt hesitant to approach you at the university because it seemed like you were avoiding me. That’s why I couldn’t help but wonder if I did something wrong to make you avoid me.” He smiled awkwardly.
• I held my breath at his words. He was worried, so he followed me? And he has wanted to talk to me for a long time?
• But why?
• I was about to ask when lightning flashed, followed by the roar of thunder.
• I flinched. I couldn’t help but scream and cover both of my ears. I could feel my whole body trembling, and fear was engulfing me.
• But I gradually calmed down as he tightly held both of my hands.
• It felt as if he’d given me assurance that everything would be alright. That there’s nothing to be afraid of, and he’s just there for me.
• And then I suddenly heard him singing.
• Slowly, I lifted my gaze to him. His smiling face greeted me as he sang in earnest. He was now facing my direction and sitting on the bench.
• Indeed, he has a soothing voice that can make me feel at ease. And I still can’t believe that he’s actually singing in front of me right now.
• In an instant, the thunder became nothing more than background music. It was the first time I was able to calm down, even amidst its continuous flashes.
• Little did I know, that night was just the beginning of finally being able to reach him.
• ***
• I was sitting quietly on the bench in the park near our place when suddenly my cellphone rang. I immediately took it out of my pocket. But when I saw who was calling, my heart suddenly sank. I took a deep breath before finally answering.
• “Babe, why did you go ahead of me? Didn’t I tell you I’d come to pick you up?” His voice carried a mix of annoyance and disappointment.
• I bit my lower lip. “I’m sorry. Just follow me here.”
• I didn’t wait for him to say anything more and quickly ended the call. I glanced at the time on my cellphone. It was already past six in the evening.
• A few minutes passed, and I heard the sound of a car coming to a stop. But I didn’t look back and kept my gaze fixed on the river in front of me.
• I almost flinched when I felt his soft lips touch my cheek. I blinked as my vision was blocked by a bunch of red roses.
• “Happy second anniversary and Merry Christmas!” Travis greeted me cheerfully.
• That’s right. Today is our anniversary, as well as Christmas Day.
• They can say it was a bad move on my part to choose to do this on this day. But deep down, I feel that now is the right time to make a decision I’ve been contemplating for weeks.
• After the night of our first encounter, we became good friends. Until he decided to court me, and then we became official.
• A dream come true, it is.
• Travis has been a good and sweet boyfriend to me. Almost perfect, as they say. Just like what I wished for. Besides that, we are also one of the most admired couples at Hamilton University. He also never fails to surprise me.
• He often picks me up and drops me off. He wants us to be together all the time. It has reached a point where I can hardly find time for my friends and the activities I used to enjoy before we became a couple.
• Honestly, it felt so wonderful. I didn’t even mind the separation from my parents. I felt so loved and special.
• But one day, I woke up with a feeling of suffocation. I wanted to break free and explode.
• Whenever we go out, I’m not allowed to wear shorts, slightly shorter skirts, or even dresses. If I do wear such clothes, they should at least be knee-length, he says.
• At first, I resisted because I was used to wearing those kinds of outfits. I’m not comfortable in pants. But as time went on, I just let it go to avoid any arguments.
• Whenever my friends and I have plans, he often joins us. If he can’t, he always asks who I’m with. He would even request a picture as proof. And when my best friend Jairus is with me, he will also tail us.
• I confronted him once about it because I felt he didn’t trust me. But his reason was that he just wanted to make sure I was safe and wouldn’t get into any trouble, especially when I wasn’t with him.
• It’s not that he didn’t trust me, but rather the people I am with. Again, I let it pass. I love him after all.
• During our friends’ drinking sessions, even if he’s with me, he still prohibits me from drinking. Then, all of a sudden, even before my seat got warm, he would suddenly suggest going home. Honestly, there are times when I don’t even want to bring him along because that’s my only time with my friends. But he’s still with me and always in a hurry to leave.
• He wasn’t like that before. So, I was surprised by the gradual changes he started showing.
• Then one day, the realization hit me. I slowly became distant from him. But I didn’t know if he didn’t notice or if he was just choosing to ignore it.
• Until I completely lost interest. I’m in love with him. There’s no question about that. But I was also losing myself in the process of loving him.
• Now I fully understand what my mom felt towards my dad back then.
• That’s why I reached a decision. Where I choose myself and prioritize my own well-being.
• “Babe, are you okay?” he asked, his face filled with concern.
• I looked up at him and was met with his worried expression. I stood up, and at the right moment, he handed me the bouquet of flowers he was holding. Without hesitation, I took it and placed it on the bench before facing him again. His concerned eyes were now filled with confusion.
• “B-Babe?” he stammered.
• I took a deep breath before slowly letting it out, and I looked straight into his eyes.
• “I’m sorry. Let’s break up,” I said.
• He blinked, then blinked again. I could see tears starting to well up in his eyes.
• I looked away. I couldn’t bear to see him like this.
• I felt his hands gripping my shoulders, trying to turn me to face him.
• “Why? Did I do something? Tell me, Babe! We can fix this, r-right?” His voice cracked, accompanied by a soft sob.
• I shook my head, trying to hold back the tears that wanted to escape my eyes.
• “I’m really sorry,” I said.
• With a heavy heart, I turned away from him and didn’t look back, no matter how many times he called after me. He tried to chase after me, but I ran as fast as I could. I silently thanked him for not following me in his car.
• I continued to run, distancing myself from the man I once loved. Along with the tears streaming down my face, the rain poured heavily.