Chapter 10 Unsettling Thoughts

• A
• LINCOLN
• That dress has to be the best decision I've made in my entire situationship years. Just perfect. And Imani has to tease me all afternoon about it. I knew she would, but I had no other person I could trust to do a excellent job. But damn! That dress was hot.. hot enough to burn me alive.. my groin I mean but... I almost sent her back to put on a potato sack.
• Only I should see her dressed like this... I almost changed my mind about the dinner when she walked down the stairs like damn.. was she all dressed up like this just for dinner?? With Clyde? But I picked the dress. I face palmed myself. And that silly Clyde.. he doesn't pass by a pretty lady without flirting. And I was very correct because the very moment we got to the venue he was all over Eliza, kissing and touching. The irritation was clear on my face but Eliza was not taking my cue. Why was he holding unto her hand for so long and kissing?... I rolled my eyes secretly. Why was she even smiling? What was funny about anything he was saying? Throughout dinner I was trying to keep Clyde occupied with business talk but he always find a way to bring Eliza into the conversation.
• I couldn't help but notice the way Eliza smiled at Clyde, the way her eyes sparkled when he spoke to her. It was like she was under some sort of spell, and I didn't like it one bit.
• As we drove away from the dinner meeting, I couldn't shake off the feeling of unease that had been building up inside me. I told myself I was being ridiculous, that Eliza was just being polite, but the image of her laughing with Clyde kept replaying in my mind.
• "Were you jealous?" I asked her, trying to sound nonchalant.
• "No!" she replied, a bit too quickly. "Though I could say the same about you." She added.
• I felt a pang of guilt, knowing that I had been jealous. But I couldn't admit it to her, not yet. "I wasn't," I lied.
• The rest of the drive was silent, the tension between us obvious. I couldn't understand why I was feeling this way. Eliza was just my secretary, after all, mistress I mean. But the thought of her with someone else, even someone like Clyde, made my blood boil.
• As we pulled up to the house, I realized that I needed to get a grip on my emotions. I couldn't let my jealousy get the better of me. But as I looked over at Eliza, I knew that it wouldn't be easy.
• "You go in, I'll like to take a stroll" I told her.
• "Okay"
• "Goodnight," I said gruffly, getting out of the car.
• "Goodnight," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
• I watched her walk into the house, feeling like I was losing control. I needed to remind myself that Eliza was just an employee; what I use to pass time for myself; that I had no right to feel this way. But as I turned to go back to the car, I knew that I was already in too deep.
• As I walked away from the car, I couldn't shake off the feeling of jealousy that had been building up inside me. I had never felt this way before, and it was unsettling. I thought about Eliza, about how beautiful she looked in that red dress, about how charming she was with Mr. Clyde. I felt a sense of possessiveness, of ownership. Who was I to feel this way? I was her boss, for crying out loud! I had no right to feel jealous.
• But as I walked further away from the house, I couldn't deny the emotions that were swirling inside me. I thought about my other mistresses. I had never really been interested in them, not like I was interested in Eliza. But Eliza... Eliza was different.
• I walked for what felt like hours, trying to clear my head. But the more I walked, the more I thought about Eliza. I thought about her smile, her laugh, her eyes. I thought about the way she made me feel, like I was the only person in the world.
• Eventually, I found myself back at the house, standing outside Eliza's window. I looked up, wondering if she was still awake. And then, I saw her. She was standing in front of the window, looking out at me. Our eyes met, and for a moment, we just stared at each other.
• I felt a jolt of electricity run through my body. I wanted to go to her, to hold her, to kiss her. But I didn't. I just stood there, frozen, unsure of what to do.
• And then, Eliza turned away, disappearing from view. I was left standing there, feeling like a fool. What was I doing? I was her boss, for crying out loud! I had no right to feel this way.
• I went back inside the house, my mind racing with thoughts and emotions.
• I went to my room, trying to calm down. But I couldn't shake off the feeling of restlessness that had settled inside me.
• As I lay in bed, I couldn't help but feel still feel uneasy. If only Eliza knew what she was doing to me now.
• Soon I found myself drowsing off, andi finally slept.
• I woke up the next morning to the beeping of my phone. I picked up my phone from across the bed, it was a text from Clyde; that son of a bitch.
• I sighed and dropped my phone back on the side table. I got up and decided to start on with my everyday morning routine.
• When I finally finished getting dressed, I realized I was a little late today.
• As I made my way downstairs, I could smell the bacon and eggs, and my stomach growled in response. Eliza was already seated at the table, a cup of coffee in front of her.
• "Good morning," she said, looking up at me.
• "Morning Liza," I replied, taking a seat across from her.
• We ate in silence for a few minutes; as usual in silence; the only sound was of the clinking of the utensils on plates.