"Oh come on Miranda. Don't be such a baby! Maybe fate has led you back to him."
I roll my eyes at no one, "Well fate is definitely wrong about this."
"No. It's not." She argues.
I arched an eyebrow at Vivian who was busy looking for my outfit to wear tonight. "Really. After seven years? And why on earth would that be?" I asked.
"I don't know. Maybe it's time you need to tell him the truth? That he got you pregnant? That he's the father to Ben?"
"Shhh, Ben might hear you." I shushed right away.
She sighs . "Miranda, I'm your friend for better or for worst."
I know where this conversation is going.
She continues, “But what and why are you so afraid?”
I didn't answer.
"Ben needs a dad." She states and emphasizes on the second word. I know that. "He needs a father's love. And I'm not saying you can't give it to him but it's different when a man is around. " She adds.
"Okay I know that Vivian." I stare on my hand trying to look for the words to say. "I'm fully aware of that. I'm sad that Ben can't feel that kind of love from his father. I'm sad that my own son doesn't have a dad that he can call his own. I feel bad and have always been.”
I sigh, “And no matter how I show him that I love him, it still won't be enough. But I'm just scared for Ben. I don't want him to feel neglected at a young age."
"Oh come on the resemblance is beyond the word obvious."She tells me and I doubt she was even listening to what I said.
"Still, I'mnot going tonight."
She throws me a shirt and luckily I ducked right away. "You're a party-poop." She whines.
"I don't want to have dinner with him. I don't want to get any form of attachment from him." I say.
"Stop with that I don't, I don't thing will you? What attachment? It's just dinner."
"Exactly!" I gestured my hand. "I don't want to see him again. I've been scarred all my life for what happened to me and it makes me sad because I can't change it." My voice cracks
Vivian walks to me and rubs my back.
"But Ben is the most beautiful thing that happened to me.... I just.." I exhale heavily. "I feel so disgusted of myself when I think about that night and how his eyes dilated seeing the bloodstain and--"
"Disgusted? Hugo Saintclare fucked you that night. That's not something disgusting dear." She states proudly, prouder than me.
I rolled my eyes at her again, "And I still don't remember anything from that night too and seeing Hugo again just makes that scar bleed once more."
"Hey. All I'm saying is, you need to give it a chance. Maybe fate has led you back to Hugo so you two can start any form of closure."
Closure? I don 't think that's the kind of closure I want.
I got quiet as I drown on my own thoughts.
"Come on. It's just dinner. And Arthur thinks you should go too." She adds.
"Miranda come on. He's reaching out to you. And remember he wrote it on the letter that he's expecting you. So you need to go." She urges me.
"How about Ben?"
"I'll babysit him for you. Now go get change. It's almost eight."
I stand in front of Alfonso's. I gaze at my watch, it was already 7 :57PM. My heart is beating hard against my chest while I take a hold on my clutch. Jesus Christ, I am really doing this. I take a deep breath in and started marching my way inside. The waiter opened the door for me and my eyes began searching for Hugo.
He wore an all black three-piece suit this time with no tie. Oh God, he's so handsome on it. I started walking closer to his table and when he noticed me walking closer to him, he smiles and stands on his feet like a gentleman. He's a huge person and he's really pretty damn tall. He is so easy to spot.
"Hi." He greets.
"Hi." I say, almost sounded like a whisper. I smiled back at him.
He pulled a seat for me and I thanked him for it. I sat right across him and he begins to sit down too. "I'm glad you came." He says.
I smiled sheepishly.
"Did you receive the chocolates?" He asked.
I nod. "Thanks for that Mr. Saintclare."
"Call me Hugo. Waiter!" He motioned his hand.
Hugo begins to order for us. He asks what I want to have but I would tell him that I'd love to eat anything he'll order. The foods were served fast too, and we began to eat silently.
I was awkward.
I wasn't really the person who knows how to start a conversation with men. If he was Chris I could talk to him about anything. But he's Hugo and I don't know how to make an actual freaking conversation with him. I can 't breathe right that he's sharing a table with me since other people were glancing over us.
"How's Mrs. Anne?" I tried to make a conversation with him.
"She's doing good. Gladys arrived right on time when I need to go back to England." He answers.
I forked my steak. "Will she be out any time sooner? I failed on talking to her doctor. Sorry."
He nods before taking drink from his glass of wine. "It's okay. I've talked to the doctor, he said mum will be out in a few days."
"That's great news."
Is it hot in here or are my inner thighs sweating like a pig for no reason?
"Mum told me I need to tell you how thankful she was that you stayed up for her." He tells me.
"It wasn't a big deal. That's what I do."
Handsome, fucking handsome.
"And how did I end up sleeping on the couch?" I asked.
"Well you were rocking your head back and forth on that chair. So I carried you." He says so casually.
I gulped and paused as soon as I heard the word carried. Almost choking on my water.I feel my cheeks blushing at the thought of Hugo actually carrying me.
"Thank you." I say, wiping my cheeks with the table napkin.
"No need for that. I looked for you this morning, I bought you breakfast too but Nurse Lettie told me you already left. I asked her for your address so I could send you a gift."
My heart wants to fly out from my ribs.
Goddamn, I can't stop myself from falling in love of what I just heard coming from his delicious plump mouth. Hugo really is the nicest and most thoughtful guy a girl could have.
"I'm really thankful you came. I thought you were going to be busy tonight." He adds.
I smiled back. "It's my day-off today so I have time. "
He smiles back, damn those dimples I swear to God.
"You say that you're going back to England?" I asked.
"Yeah. For work."
I nod. "Well I can't believe it's been years since you'd sing to thousands of people with the four other lads."
He smiles. "Those were the days."
Suddenly his phone started ringing. He quickly pulled it out from his pocket. "I'll take this call." He tells me. I bow to someone
with a smile.
"Hey honey." Hugo speaks smile over the phone.
Honey . froze to the word honey . He's calling someone honey . Honey is a term of endearment. Of course it had to be someone special. It won't be his mom, would it? Is he taken? Is he dating someone? Oh my God , I didn't know he's taken.Why am I feeling sad?
Why am I feeling depressed when I heard him calling someone honey over the phone?
Jesus Christ, of course he has a girlfriend.
"I'm having dinner with a friend. Yes I'll be back home tomorrow I promise. Mom's fine, don't worry." Hugo gazes at me but I kept my eyes on my foods.
I slightly pull my head up to watch him.
Hugo smiles while I overhear a female's voice from his phone. "I'll see you soon honey. I love you too."
I love you too.
Those words shot me.
He really is taken.
He hangs up and placed his phone back inside his pocket.
Don't act like you're affected Miranda. Why are you even jealous? You're not jealous. You don't have the right to be jealous. Grow up already. You're not the seventeen year old girl who'd get jealous over women who gets to be pictured with Hugo. You're an adult now. Don't be a jerk.
"How long have you been working as a nurse?" Hugo asks, trying to continue our conversation.
But why am I loosing all interest?
"For almost four years now." I answered.
"Was it really your choice to be a nurse?"
I nod. "Yeah. Aside from being a teacher, I think being a nurse is also a noble job ."
"It is. You get to help people everyday. It's an amazing job to be able to help. Maybe I can contact you when I'll be having medical missions. We're in need of licensed nurses." Hugo speaks.
"Medical missions?" I asked surprisingly.
He nods. "Aside from making music, I'm involve in charity works and medical missions for skint places. Like in Africa or parts of America."
"Wow. That's really amazing. I mean , you're working your ass off as the boss on your famous recording studio and Saintclare Enterprises but at the same time you give what you earn. That's amazing."
He smiles. "Thank you. Maybe I'll contact you soon?"
I was planning not to see you again. I was planning this would be the last. I was convinced that you wouldn't want to know about Ben because you already have your honey with you. And I'm sure she won't like it when she'll find out you had a baby to a one night stand.To a fan who you took her innocence away.
"Miranda?" He calls out my attention.
"Yeah. That would be cool to be a part of something cool."
He smiles and handed me a calling card. "You can call me on that anytime." He tells me.
" Thanks. Thank you." I say. I stared at it. "I will."
When dinner finished, I was full.
"Thank you for dinner Mr. Saintclare." I say as I wipe my cheeks with the table napkin.
" I said call me Hugo."
I smiled. "It's awkward but I'll try to keep that in mind."
"I'll drive you home?" He offered.
"Don't bother. I have my car with me. "I say.
He smiles. "Alright."
Both of us left the table. We headed to the front door and there were a few paps who took photos of us from across the street which was a little bit surprising for me. I can't believe they still follow Hugo.
"I had a great time." I say.
"Me too. I would really want to see you again." He looks at me intently.
I froze and then melted.
See me again?
He's taken Miranda. Get a grip of your hormones.
I smiled at him to be nice.
"I would call you if I would want to join to any of your medical missions." He says.
"Night Hugo." I walked away from him and marched my way to my car. I get inside and started the engine right away feeling a little warm on my cheeks.It revved then it fades.
"Oh no. No. No. No. Don't die on me tonight." I tell my car.
I tried to turn on the engine again but my car is really dead. "Stupid car!" I hit the stirring wheel angrily .
Ugh! This piece of junk has her days I swear to God!
Suddenly a knock came by my window that made me flinch. It was Hugo standing next to the driver's door. He smiles at me and I swear that smile freaking gets me. I rolled down my window for him.
"I think you need a lift." He smiles cheekily.
God that dimpled smile will be the death of me.
My cheeks are burning. "As embarrassing as it sounds, I think I do." I say.
He opens the door for me and I hurriedly closed my window.
"I'll call some car shop to pick it up tomorrow." I add.
He smiles, "As for now, let me drive you home."
Both of us began walking towards his car. Holy shit, I know he's Hugo Saintclare and he earns a lot of millions, but I haven't seen such amazing car like he owns. It was an all white Jaguar XJ. He opens the passenger door for me and I hopped in and so did he.
His interior was jet black and red and his car smelled like roses. Ugh, like his hotel room from seven years ago. He begins to drive as I tell him the directions to Vivian's house. Huge plays some classic songs on his radio and both of us were just quiet.
When we parked right outside the house of Vivian, Hugo offered to walk me to the front door for my safety and it was really sweet of him.
I smile. "I'm safe here."
He smiles back. "Just making sure you go in safe."
I ring the doorbell again and the door opens right away. My eyes widened and I think I almost dropped my clutch bag. He's looking up at Hugo and Hugo's looking back at him.