Chapter 4 Take It Easy, Heart

• Hugo’s blue-green eyes were still staring at me, they look intense but at the same time calm. I think he is trying to figure out where he could have seen me or maybe he knows already about me. Did he already figure out who I am? No, it was seven years ago. There’s no way that he would remember me, that was seven years ago.
• Relax Miranda.
• Relax.
• Don't freak out.
• I'm sure he doesn't remember you.
• It has been seven years after what happened to the two of you. I'm sure he won't remember any of that night because I think both of us got insanely drunk.
• I smiled away my nervousness. "Good evening sir."
• Sir? I could barf at myself right now for how I address him that after having sex with him. Jesus Christ, my armpits are sweating.
• I guess we can actually call it as our first proper conversation because I can’t consider something that happened years ago as counted since I was intoxicated. Also, nothing comes to mind when it comes to that sinful night.
• I still don’t know how I acted.
• I cleared my throat and looked away from his gaze. "I’m nurse Randy." I say to Anne and smiled forcefully. "I'm here to change your IV bag ma’am and there's medicine for you to take too."
• "Oh that’s lovely dear.” Anne’s sweet voice sounded welcoming. “I'm in dire of leaving the hospital already. Hugo here doesn't want me to leave just yet. He still thinks I'm sick."
• I started changing her IV bag with a new one and even though I was being careful of not showing my emotions, my hands were failing me. They were shaking because I was really nervous as hell. I tried to keep my composure together and the thought of Hugo staring at me while I am doing my thing here is making it even more awkward for me to move around comfortably.
• I was stopping myself from fangirling even though my most favorite band had split up years ago, I still can't help getting starstruck seeing him at his current age. I was such a huge fan of Satellite Patrol when I was younger and most especially of Landon’s drumming skills and Hugo’s insane vocals.
• "How do you feel now, ma’am?" I ask but still avoiding Hugo's eyes.
• "I honestly feel much better, to be honest." She smiles at me.
• Anne is still incredibly pretty even though she has aged like a fine wine. There were wrinkles on her face and some part of her hair were already gray but she was still as beautiful as before.
• "My fever has gotten down, thank God.” She answers with her thick English accent. “I don't feel sick anymore. Has the doctor said anything about when I can leave?" She asked me back.
• "We still have no confirmation from your doctor but I'll get to it in a while." I smile at her.
• "Thank you so much, dear. You make me feel a little more relieved.”
• It was something amazing to listen to.
• I smile at her as I was fixing the used IV bag on my hand, “Well, I want to help the patients to recover fast so I want to assist as much as I can.”
• "You're such a smiling nurse with a bright personality." She compliments me and I feel a little happy that she’s so welcoming unlike other patients here on the presidential suite floor. "The last one who came in here before you was so grumpy. I think Hugo can agree to that." Anne gazes at her son.
• My eyes slowly travelled towards Hugo and as soon as I glance at him, my heart just feels happy. He is sitting on the couch with his leg crossed over the other and his blue-green eyes darted at me while he is touching his chin with his hand.
• "Yeah." He answered monotone.
• Almost sounding cold.
• When I was growing up, getting busy with college and juggling being a mother after giving birth, I became too focused on my own life that I no longer had time following news about the band.
• When I heard about their official disbandment, I was completely crushed because SatPat’s music has been very relatable to me aside from their handsome faces and incredible talent.
• "Sorry about my son being cold. He’s not always like that. He just got here.” Anne explains sounding comforting. “He's always busy with work and he's probably tired."
• I travelled my head towards Anne and she is looking back at me with a warm smile. She looked too sweet and it was hard to be mean to her, "Oh. It's okay ma’am.” I say. “I understand. Well, it’s time for your medicine.” I smile.
• I hand her the tablets she needed to take before she sleeps tonight and help her sit on top of her bed while my eyes kept glancing at Hugo who is now busy with his phone. I can tell that he is probably texting someone and I wonder who he's texting with. I stare at him longer as my eyes travelled down to his long legs and his huge hands. He is absolutely doing nothing, but he still looks so damn good.
• In a split second, he stares at me under his lashes and I was taken aback when our eyes meet. I slowly bent my head down to cover my face because he is actually staring at me. Shit.
• He's making me feel guilty when he's looking at me like that and I feel so bad for what I have been hiding for the past years. I feel like I've hid a huge part from his life. Well, I have hidden something huge.
• But the fact that he's here is unbelievably kind of nerve-wracking. I still feel so overwhelmed seeing him here. Memories from that morning popped into my head, and I know I've had sex with him but that was a couple of years ago, and I wasn't conscious when we did it. I lost the chance to…feel him.
• But we're this close.
• We're breathing in and out the same air. We’re in the same freaking room. I honestly want to take a photo of him or even a fan sign? But then it would be too awkward for me to actually act something from him. I know he's no longer a celebrity or part of Satellite Patrol but I still can't help it not to fangirl when I see him.
• In the pits of my stomach, I want to tell him about Ben and I do I feel guilty for hiding Ben from him all these years. The guilt is building up to my throat almost choking me. If I tell him, will he even believe me that my son is his? Wait, does he even remember me?
• The moment he pulled his head up and caught me staring again, I quickly looked back down on his mother and helped her settle back down on the bed. My eyes then noticed a cast on her foot.
• "May I ask what happened to your foot, ma’am?" I ask her out of curiosity.
• "I had an accident before this." She answers. "I think it's healed now. It doesn't hurt like it did before but my son wanted to make sure so the cast stays as much as the doctor wanted it."
• I nod. "We’ll check up on that as well since it would be much comfortable for you as well."
• I begin to write some things down on her medical records and checked the part where she finished taking her meds for the night. I pulled my head back up and smile at her. "You're all good mam."
• "Thank you very much." Anne replies with a beautiful smile.
• I gazed at Hugo and I nod at him as a form of goodbye before I greeted him a good night but he didn't seem to respond back to me. The Presidential Suite was spacious enough and the door was quite far from the hospital bed so I had to walk a little bit more.
• In the back of my head, I seriously wanted to get out from this room and leave right away. I could even hear my own heart beating ridiculously fast right now because Hugo is here. I started marching my way towards the door and tried to focus my attention leaving the room as soon as possible.
• Suddenly, someone from behind grabbed my arm and pulled me back gently. "Excuse me."
• Well, shit.
• I quickly turn around and noticed that Hugo was holding me. I glance at his hand which was on my arm then travelled my eyes back at Hugo’s handsome face. I was hesitant to pull back my hand and I want to pull myself away too but his eyes were stopping me from doing so.
• Oh gosh, my heart can't contain him being this close to me.
• Stop beating so loud.
• He looks at me eagerly and I think he's trying to remember who I am. Is he remembering who I am? I even changed my hair to black, just to change my whole look in case this day would come.
• Oh my God, I wish he doesn't remember me.
• Don't remember me.
• Do not remember me!
• I keep chanting in my head.
• "You look familiar." His words makes me stiff..
• Shit.
• I feel my pupils dilating after what he said but I quickly recovered from it the moment I realized that I seemed too shock. Miranda, remember he meets millions of people day by day and it’s something that you don’t have to worry about. But then hearing him say that I look familiar makes my heart leap out from my chest. I slightly pulled my arm away from him before he releases me.
• "Sorry for grabbing you." He apologizes right away, while he puts back his hands into his pockets.
• "It's not a big deal, sir." I answered and I still feel awkward addressing him sir.
• I gaze at my feet and his leather shoes were shiny as fuck that it’s too blinding. I pulled my head back up and stared at Hugo’s luring blue-green eyes which were still glued on mine.
• "Have I seen you somewhere else before?" He asked while furrowing his eyebrows.
• He looks serious and I am sure he means that. Shit, he recognizes me. He freaking recognizes me!
• I clipped my opened mouth, "W-well... Some people always have mistaken me for someone else." I lied while my voice shakes.
• He nods briefly.
• "Do you want anything sir?" I asked, trying to change the topic.
• "Yes. Right. I do." He snapped himself out of something he was thinking.
• "Can you watch over my mum for me? I have a lot of paperwork to finish, I need to grab a coffee and I need a nurse to guard her for the night." He asked while looking back at his mother before turning his attention back to me. “Can you do that?
• I grew silent.
• Um, your sister?
• "And my sister Gladys is still in England. She's on her way here… I think." He adds, as if he's reading my mind but he sounds unsure.
• Both of us got quiet and I was just looking at my hands which are shaking as I try to suppress them behind me. I can't take to look at him in his eyes, it's very risky and making me feel guiltier. I don't really want to stay here for the entire night with him around because it will be totally awkward for my part.
• Seeing Hugo Saintclare walking around here and talking to me, just reminds me again from that sinful morning when I actually saw his whole soft dick hanging in between his thighs. I thought I won't see him again and how I have been praying to hide from him for the rest of my life but then he is actually fucking here.
• "I called the nurses' station a while ago and told the head nurse about it but they still haven't sent one here." He continues.
• Making me feel much guiltier.
• "Well.." I can't because my shift is about to end and I wouldn't want to because I do not want to. "I could follow-up the head nurse about it for you Mr. Saintclare." I said out a petty reason.
• The door suddenly opens wide and I quickly stepped aside to let that someone in. I thought it was another Satellite Patrol member but I guess I was wrong. It was Nurse Mara, my ultimate enemy here in the hospital. She starts walking closer to where Hugo and I was and she seemed so… flirty from afar. She pushes her hair behind her ears and smiled at Hugo as soon as she stood close to where we were.
• She glares at me and obviously rolled her eyes at my direction before she stared at Hugo. "Good evening Mr. Saintclare."
• The she begins to flirt.
• "I'm really sorry it took so long for me to come here sir. I'm the nurse that is sent here." Mara smiles.
• She prepared for this, obviously. The painted rosy cheeks, red cherry lipstick, her mascara-covered eyelashes. It’s far evident. No wonder she took too long to get here. I mean, what was she thinking? That she could seduce Hugo Saintclare inside a freaking hospital?
• "I'm nurse Mara." She adds, batting her eyes at him.
• Hugo looks at her sternly and I know how Mara always gets the men she wants, like this. She's a newbie around the hospital, almost working here for a year and she works her way up to the top by fucking anyone just to get a high position. I heard she's eyeing on a certain doctor around here to become a head nurse which sounds pretty annoying and she looks really annoying.
• Talk about a bitch.
• "Well I guess I'll have to get going now, sir." Hugo quickly moved his head to me as soon as I began talking.
• "Good evening and have a good night Mr. Saintclare." I added.
• I start leaving the room right away exhaling but I still feel his eyes following me as soon as I left. Just when I was about to reach to close the door behind me, I hear a voice.
• "Nurse Miranda."
• Hugo calls out to me and I felt my back stiffened like a board.
• I halted and quickly turned around to face him.
• Excited? Hell no.
• Nervous, fuck yes!
• Who doesn’t get nervous being called back by the father of my child who is still unaware about our child and he is actually still contemplating about who I am.
• Fuck.
• "Yes Mr. Saintclare?" I ask and forced a smile on my face.
• Beat… beat…
• Beatbeatbeatbeat...
• Shut up heart.
• Shut up.
• He looks at me very carefully, as if he's looking for some defect from my face. I look fine, just with no make up and all hair placed in a bun. I'm cursing at myself inwardly, hoping that he won't notice or recognize me.
• Please no?
• The sex was seven years ago, freaking seven years ago. I was only seventeen when I met him and he was twenty-three. Maybe he's thinking when and where he could have met or saw me.
• Now I feel Mara looking back at me and Hugo but I try to act as innocent as possible so she doesn’t notice anything suspicious.
• Suddenly, Hugo begins to walk closer to me and in the back of my head, I wanted to leave but my feet isn't pulling me back. I’m stiff and frozen at the same time because of damned eyes. He stands close to me and smiles at me so handsomely that it’s totally so distracting.
• Beatbeatbebeatbeatbeatbeatbeat…
• "I forgot to say thanks." He says to me and pauses while his eyes were still glued on my face. “So umm, thank you.”
• I nod and smiled weakly. “It’s my job sir.”
• Sir. I barked a voice in my head.
• "Nurse Miranda." He says as a goodbye.
• Take it easy heart.
• Take it easy and hold your shit together.
• He smiles at me and it was too beautiful to say that I don’t like it. I fucking do.