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Chapter 7

  • At my twenty”five years, although for many it was about being in full youth, I did not run with the same luck, moreover, I could say that my years were going through an infinity of disastrous and bloody events, many deaths, too many violations of what people consider human rights, but in my world there are only two sides and even so things do not end up going well.
  • Now that I hoped to understand more about Ivonne's life, with what excuse was I going to let her stay with me longer? It is obvious that what I was looking for is not there, I do not even know that Julian of whom he speaks so much and named in each of the letters. On the other hand, although not very significant, I had told her that I had never received her letters, that I discarded them, so that she would not feel ashamed of herself, because it was obvious that she was beginning to feel it, and that I would also be ashamed if someone realized that behind all the armor, behind everything I teach people to cause fear to my person, There is a man capable of feeling compassion and love.
  • Although, I should not care much either, it is the first time I see her, I should not let myself be enthralled by cheesiness, by a pretty face, or a spectacular body, because of that type there are many women in the world, but I was still surprised by the desire I had to save that woman, so much so that I decided to buy her a place in a nearby cemetery, I didn't like to influence myself in that way, but I can take some advantage of this situation and that's something I can't refuse.
  • I entered my office touching my eyebrow, my head hurt to think of all the possibilities that had brought this girl here. Antoine was there waiting for me to resolve some of the outstanding issues in Russia.
  • “What did you do with the bodies?”. I asked intuitively, but without implying ulterior motives, I wanted everything to go as normal as possible, I did not want anyone to stop to think that that girl mattered to me in some way, that not even dead. I hoped he would have done his job well, otherwise we will be in trouble here too.
  • “I left them on a corner, it will seem that it was a street fight, in fact, I have torn their clothes and filled their bodies with alcohol so that, indeed, they look like bums who fought drunk who knows why the hell”. he answered, I smiled at that, Antoine always looked for a very good way out of the problems that occurred spontaneously. “Although we can also leave the girl's body next to them and they will think it is a dispute for love”. he added again, I didn't care what happened to that body, total, he had died.
  • But a gust of icy wind ran down my back, I had promised that we would give her a dignified funeral, I could not let her succumb in that corner, not when that could give me problems with the girl who slept in the room upstairs.
  • “I don't think that will be possible, I've made a promise, I can't break my word, Antoine”. I mentioned, the man nodded and left the room ready to do each of the things I had entrusted to him.
  • I could not sleep all night, the tension of having that woman I wanted so much to find in the next room overwhelmed me, I needed to know more about her, everything about her, my head seemed to have become self”aware, thinking constantly of that woman, in her attractive eyes, in her thin lips, in her perfectly assembled body, And, I didn't know why I was thinking all this if I hadn't even had time to detail it carefully or to trace my caresses on her skin, but I certainly believed that she was going to take me to a precipice, I had to put distance between her and me, not because I was afraid of her, but I was afraid of my own reaches. Even so, I kept contradicting myself, I had let him stay here, a few steps from my room.
  • I got out of bed exploding, I felt my body feverish, I felt my hands shake, what is happening to me? What does it provoke in me? Why can't I have it near me? I was going to freak out if I couldn't stay calm, I was sure of it, even so, I couldn't do it.
  • I went down to the kitchen hoping that some of the evil I felt would cease and take advantage of eating something, I have never been given to control my anxiety and my disorders on an empty stomach.
  • “Hello”. greeted that woman, of whom I knew more than I wanted to admit, I looked her up and down, I smiled sideways while shaking my hair, bad habit of mine to do it to attract even more attention, which at this time I did not want to do, her cheeks reddened, product of that I felt that something inside me lit up with force. “I didn't know how to thank you for letting me stay, so I thought about making breakfast”. she mentioned smiling, I looked at her in confusion, what time was it supposed to be?
  • “I think it's fine”. I said as I took my eyes to the windows, it was already daytime, to my surprise and it was to be expected that I was not aware, my room looks like a dungeon, in the bad sense, I always remain in the darkness, just like my life.
  • Seconds later my nose was flooded by a smell, burned, an intolerable smell of burning was seeping through my nostrils, I looked at her and her eyes opened in amazement, she turned to see the container she had in the kitchen and put her hands to her mouth, opening her eyes in amazement.
  • “Shit!”. she said in almost a shout, I laughed behind her back, without her being able to realize it, she was not good at cooking, she was sure of that.
  • “It doesn't matter, come before Katherina arrives, she is very picky about people who enter her kitchen, so you better hide from her”. I commented, still laughing silently at everything that had happened with the mentioned breakfast that.
  • “Okay”. he replied timidly hitting his forehead as punishment for an act of clumsiness, I walked to the backyard to appreciate the morning that Spain gave me, which was much better than the cold mornings in Moscow, I suppose I always wanted to come to this place, but I had never done it for work reasons.
  • She followed me in a forewarned way, the little I observed her I realized that she looked everywhere, I suppose that this house brought her many pleasant memories and perhaps, some not so much, after all here lived this Julian who had left her without even giving her a new address or some number to be able to communicate with him.
  • “What do you think?” I asked, ending with his distant gaze and his silence that made me a little uncomfortable, which did not happen very often, because I liked silence, it let me think more calmly, I guessed it was because apart from interacting with the women in my family, I only messed with prostitutes whom I only took to bed and then discarded them as garbage. Because they were, just like the drug traffickers I'm so used to, but she didn't fit into any of the classes I had mentioned.
  • “It's just that it brings me fond memories of being here”. he answered my question in just a whisper. I didn't look at her at all, but I smiled at what she had said, which surprised me more, why had she done it?
  • “It's good that you're happy”. I mentioned. I didn't know what to say or what to do to break the ice between us. In the distance I spotted Antoine, I didn't know if he wanted to say something or not, until he approached me. “Give me a second, please”. —I added, addressing the woman, she nodded.
  • “Sir, I have urgent and extremely serious news”. he mentioned my right hand, worrying me, I turned my eyes, I knew perfectly well that I did not like that people took so many detours to say something.
  • “Well?” I said a little at the man's delay in telling me things.