"It's a matter of moments when life-changing decisions are made... It's just one moment that turns the path to the destination or sometimes the destination itself... Joining Black Eagles wasn't preplanned also, it was a decision unforeseen. I never have thought of being a part of it, or any other group or a gang in the matter of fact. I was willing to live an average life just like our parents wished for." Kanwal's hands were gently held by her husband, "But it was that particular moment when I realized that I could be more than just an ordinary person... We all have heard the stories about heroes saving the world but none of us wants to be that hero. Because those heroes sacrifice more than an average person... I faced my own part of the troubles, fought a terrible inner battle that I never want to fight again... and in return, I lost everything in my life, my family, my friends, my life and even my own self... I didn't regret my decision because I could see my destination but the only thing chained me down to my past was your existence. I was never allowed to fly free since the fear of losing you was always there."
"Humans are selfish beings Kanwal. You won't believe even if I tried to explain how the thought made me restless that I place will be filled up by someone else. You will smile for someone else, the reason for the blush on your face will not be me. Someone else, some other man, that unknown person, those thoughts, the uncertainty was driving me crazy and on top of that, your rejection made this madness worse. At that point, I couldn't think of anything except the option of forcing you to marry me. Though it was foolish of me to even think that once I will have you, the rest of life would be easy and I will be free from any uncertainty... Consciously or not, each one of us rejects the idea that things would go out of our expectations... Time resonates with one's own life, not to others. Birth and death is just a happening." Kanwal recalled everything Ahad said to her once again. Till that point, she didn't understand the reason for this explanation until he said the last sentence that he going in search of Moosa.
It happened five days ago, the very next day, Ahad left the country and since that day Kanwal spent most of her time in her room, pretending to be sick. Thinking continuously about her husband and praying for his safety. She wanted to stop him but didn't speak a word. He had made up his mind and her words will only burden him. Therefore, she encouraged him and said farewell with a smile, but what broke inside her cannot be put into words. She was proud that her husband isn't the type of man who avoids his responsibility or abandoned his comrades. Yet, she couldn't do anything about her heart which aches with each heartbeat. It was suffocating, the worry was working as a slow poison, taking her near to death every passing minute. Now she understood the suffering of Mahnoor, the reason she roams restlessly all over the house like a caged bird finding her way out. Kanwal also wanted to find her way out and fly where Ahad was. But she could not, neither Mahnoor.
"Kanwal, we should consult a doctor, you really don't look well." Mahnoor gaze held concern for her friend, the same as Kanwal had for her too. But she wasn't able to understand the meaning of it.
It was almost dinner time and Kanwal just woke up after sleeping the whole day and found Mahnoor sitting near her feet. Kanwal spent last night weeping and praying and went to sleep after breakfast. Mahnoor has been watching her for a few days but wasn't saying anything. She waited for her to speak up whenever she felt like. Yet, she couldn't stop herself from worrying about her.