I cried so much that I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep without changing my pajamas last night. It is now six o'clock in the morning. I immediately got up and went to a wash room because my stomach was so bad. It's like digging into something I can't understand. In a few moments I was nauseous in the sink. When my nausea was over, the digging into my stomach was also over. There I washed and groomed myself. After doing my morning routines, I decided to go downstairs.
"Babe what happened? Why did you suddenly leave me last night?" I was just in the middle of the stairs when I immediately heard Thalia's voice. I tried to calm myself down. Fortunately, my emotions were in line with what I wanted to happen. I'm right of suspicion. Thalia's here, they're at the table and Rod is facing each other. Rod was touching his head while leaning on the table. Thalia, on the other hand, seemed to have a hard time getting Rod's attention.
"What are you doing here?" I raised an eyebrow at Thalia. She also raised her eyebrows over me.
"The thickness of face really is!" I hear her while dead maliciously pouring hot water into my cup.
"Who's thick?" The bitch actually even asked!
"Maybe that caterpillar's face?" I said sarcastically because she dropped her hand on the table.
"Can you two? Shut up, okay?" Suddenly Rod answered between Thalia and me.
"Why did you bring a caterpillar at home? There's a huge numbers of caterpillars in the garden and you're actually letting in." I was shaken once sipping the hot water in the cup.
"Shut the fvck up, Cianna!" I raised an eyebrow at Rod after he raised his voice at me.
"You, shut your fvckin' mouth, Rodleigh!" I shouted him back.
"Now, if you don't want me to call the police and hand you over Thalia . . . you better get out of this house and never ever come back again!" I boldly threatened Thalia.
"This is my house, Cianna! If anyone here has the right to evict her, it's just me and not you!" I laughed at Rod's sudden rebuke again.
"I don't care, Rod. I don't care!" Full of sarcasm I said before I turned my attention back to Thalia.
"What are you waiting for? Get out!" I shouted to her.
"I won't," she boldly replied. Because of what she said, so, I just shrugged before giving her a strange grin.
"Then, it's fine." I got up and went to where the phone was. I was about to press the 'ok' button after I dialed the Police Station's Hotline number when she suddenly stood up and left the house with her sharp gazed.
Because of that, I just smiled at the absence.
"What the hell!" I shouted in disbelief after Rodleigh slapped me hard.
"How dare you!"
Of course, I slap him back with all I might.
"What's happening to you, Cianna?" he asked while shaking his head.
"Why? What is happening to me?" I scoff at him.
Even before he could speak I immediately covered his mouth with my finger.
"You forced me to be like this, Rod. You reached my limit. You're the one who made me like this."
I smiled at him with my sweetest yet evil smile, and then left him with his mouth open.
Who is Cinna Marie Alvarez-Del Mundo before?
F L A S H B A C K.
"R-Rod, what do you want to eat?" I stammered while asking my husband who had just arrived from the office.
"I already ate dinner with my officemates." he coldly answered.
I nodded. Yeah, he already ate his dinner. But not with his officemates, but with his ex-fiancee or should I say, with his MISTRESS.
I saw them earlier. I saw them eating together with their happy and contented faces.
I felt so much jealousy and pain as I watched them.
I want to approach them and hurt them both.
But, I can't. I'm scared. I was afraid that Rod might leave me if I made any scandal that would tarnish his name and that of his woman.
I could do nothing but cry quietly in a corner while struggling to cope with the extreme pain caused by the person I love.
I am weak.
Yeah, I am weak because of so much love that I was given to him.
I'm so weak, I'm almost fooling myself. That it's okay even if my husband repeatedly cheats on me and cheats right in front of me.
I tried to talk to Thalia once in a good way. But I still look bad in Rod's eyes.
"Thalia, are you aware that Rodleigh is married?"
"So? He loves me." she raised an eyebrow in response to me.
"But Thalia? You look like a hooker—"
I couldn't continue what I was going to say after she slapped me.
"How dare you! I'm not a hooker! I love Rod and he loves me!" she shouted at me while crying with so much anger.
"What's happening here?" I seemed to get cold in my seat when I heard Rod's voice.
"Babe, she slap me!" she said to Rod in tears. I want to tell Rod that I didn’t do that, that she even slapped me. But it was too late because he had already strangled me.
I missed it because I love him. I love Rod so much. With so much love for him I could hardly love myself.
"You're four weeks pregnant Mrs. Del Mundo, Congratulations!"
I don’t know what my reaction will be. I was also stunned for a few minutes then suddenly I started to cry. I don’t know how I feel. Whether I am happy or sorry for myself and my future child.
I want to tell Rod that I'm pregnant, just in case he stops caring. I want to announce that he will have a family but . . .
"You're not pregnant, aren't you?"
His questioning eyes glared at me as he held up the pregnancy test I had bought. Fortunately, I haven't used it yet.
"I-I'm not." my voice trembled in response to him.
"Good! Because you can't get pregnant, Cianna! I might kill you!" he shouted at me while choking me again.
It was there that I finally lost hope of letting him know about my pregnancy. The little hope I had was also gone, that whatever relationship he had with that Thalia would end.
Cianna Marie Alvarez-Del Mundo was the weakest, fragile, and the most stupid version of myself before.
How was I able to put up with Rod’s cheating on me for almost two years?
How stupid I am, right?
But not now, that I already have the courage to fight back. Not now that I am going to be a mom.
As I relived the memories of my painful experience with Rod, my decision to leave tonight was finally formed.
I approached the large mirror here in my room again. I smiled bitterly to myself.
"Hey, cheer up!" I feel like a fool talking to myself.
"You're not weak anymore, you know how to fight back now! I'm so happy for you!"
I laughed at the words that came out of my mouth. It’s funny that I have no one else to blame for the resentment I feel, but only myself in front of the big mirror here in my room.
It's already 9 o'clock in the evening but Rodleigh is still awake.
I only have two hours left before my flight to Paris.
If I do nothing, my plan to leave this house will fail again.
"Come on, Cianna! Think about what to do!" I chastised myself as I was restless and back and forth making my way around here inside my room.
"Right! Make him some coffee! What a bright idea!"
I almost applauded at my thought. I immediately went downstairs and went to the kitchen.
I was carrying two sleeping pills I had taken from the medicine kit in my room.
After I filled the cup with hot water, I quickly mixed two tablets of sleeping pills. The more tablet, more effective.
"What is it, Manang?"
He thought it was Manang knocking on the door of his room.
"It's me, Rod." I said comfortably. In the past, when I talked to Rod, I couldn't help but stutter. I don't know, but I'm really scared of him.
I was surprised when Rod suddenly approached the door. He also quickly took from my hand the saucer on which I had placed the cup I was holding.
"What is this—"
"I know you're tired. So, yeah, as your wife, I brought you coffee." I smiled and told him.
Suddenly his eyes widened at what he heard. That's right, Rod.
"Thanks." he said.
"You're welcome. All right, drink that while it's still hot." I still smiled and said that he immediately obeyed. I just smiled in my mind.
This is the reason why Thalia easily gets him. He quickly bit into the trap.
"All right, I'm going back to my room. I'm already sleepy." I said goodbye to him.
When I made sure Rod was asleep I proceeded with my plan. I didn't use my car. Rodleigh might wake up later because of the alarm he attached to my car directly on his cellphone.
"What are you doing here, Cianna?"
Mama's shocked expression greeted me when I got home.
"Ma, I love you so much." I immediately said once hugging her tightly.
"Hey, what's wrong with you? Why are you suddenly acting like this?"
"I'm fine, Mama." I smiled and hugged Mom again.
"What are you doing here, Cianna?" It was Dad's cold voice.
"Well, I'm sorry. I love you so much." I cried a lot after I told that to Dad.
"What the hell is this?" I shook. No matter when Dad never ever cared at me. He doesn't care about my feelings.
"It's getting late, Cianna, go home to your husband." he drive me away.
"Go home, for what? To hurt by him over and over again? I'm sorry, Pa! But I'm not going home to him, if you want, you can just go home to him!"
I want to shout those words to Dad. I want to tell him that he was very wrong in his decision to let me married to the man he admires so much for me.
But I didn’t. I'd better just keep quiet. It would be better for me to just leave them all, than for me to repeatedly explain my thoughts that they never understood or listened to.
"Mom, I'm going home. I just really missed you. Goodbye." I said goodbye to Mom.
When I came out of our house I looked up at the sky. There's so many stars in the sky. The moon is also bright.
The heaven is quiet peaceful.
I closed my eyes and said my requests one by one.
Hopefully, this will be the last time I will shed tears because of the pain.
Hopefully, I will do it right this time.
Hopefully, I will succeed in my plans for myself and my future child.
Hopefully, those people who ignored and hurt my feelings will also repent.
Hopefully, they will also see my value.
I opened my eyes again and let out a deep breath before I finally left our house.
"Tonight, you'll be free from pain, Cianna!" I whispered as I entered to a Taxi, to go to airport.
Rodleigh's Point of View:
Today is Thursday, which means I'm not going into the office.
It's a good thing I'm off today because I woke up late.
"Fvck!" I curse after I confirmed that I just fell asleep in the chair. I also left my PC opened.
"Damn it!" I quickly put away the scattered papers in my room.
"What happened to you, Rod? Why did you sleep through these important papers your Dad needs? Ugh!" I chastise myself.
"What happened?" I asked again, but I didn't get any response. I was just shaken before finally leaving my room.
"Where is Cianna?" I asked Manang when I saw her just coming out of Cianna's room.
"She's not in her room."
"The truth is, she wasn't in her room last night. I brought her milk but I didn't find her." Manang said.
"Fvck! Why didn't you wake me up?" I angrily shouted at her.
"I woke you up, Sir, but you didn't wake up."
"Damn it!" I hurried down the stairs with my car key.
"Where are you, Cianna? Where did you go?" I asked angrily as I drove my car fast.
"Chua! Damn you, Chua! Open your fvckin' door!"
I immediately wandered out of Jacob's house. He was the only one I could think of that Cianna could go to.
"What's the matter with you, Del Mundo? It's early!"
"Get Cianna out!"
"What? Why? Where is Cianna?" he pretended that he doesn't know, damn him!
"Fvck you! Get my wife out!" I shouted again.
"Really, Del Mundo? Your wife? Ha ha ha! You're funny, did you know that?" he said full of sarcasm.
"Now that she's gone, you're claiming her as your wife? When she was in your power, what did you consider her? Isn't it a trash? She's a trash to you, right?"
"You never respected her, Rod! You never appreciated her! And I hated you for doing that to her!"
"If Cianna really left you, that's up to you and right! She made a right decision, Del Mundo. Now, you're free. You can now marry your ex-fiancee, who is dear to you, who you love so much!"
It was as if I had been slapped one after another by what I had heard.
Why is that?
Why am I so mad at Cianna?
She ruined my relationship with Thalia!
She requested to my Dad, that she really wanted to marry me.
So my stupid father, agreed to Cianna.
As for me, I never thought about how Thalia and I would feel.
Thalia was my fiancee that time. Thalia should be the one I can marry if Cianna doesn't pushed herself on me.
If she hadn’t been desperate to get me.
Hopefully, her life wouldn’t have been in hell if she hadn’t insisted on getting me.
It's also her fault, isn't it?
It’s also her fault why I hate her!
If only she wasn’t desperate!
I hope Thalia and I are happy today.
But why do I feel different now?
Why do I seem to be hurt by the fact that Cianna left me?
Why now, little by little I see the value of her that I tried to ignore then?
"Rod!" I was startled by a familiar voice calling my name.
"Babe, it's me. Let's go home."
I seemed disappointed to be able to confirm who it was. It's Thalia. The woman I believe I love dearly.