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Chapter 7 New year No new me

  • 1st January 2020
  • Miami, Florida
  • I woke up to My phone ringing. With a groan, I slid out of bed, feeling the soft warmth of the carpet on my feet as I lurched over to the charging stand.
  • "What is the point of a phone if I have to get up anyway," I mutter, then taped the screen
  • "Hello?"
  • “Happy New Year bitches “ Sally shrieked into the phone. I looked at the time and it was 1:03 am.
  • “You have too much energy for someone who’s in her first trimester “
  • “I’m turnt up right now woohoooo” I could hear the sound of fireworks and jubilation from her background.
  • “Girl where exactly are you ?” I asked while putting on my pajama top and bottoms . If you are wondering if I sleep naked then you are not too far from the truth . As it turns out, there are many health benefits of sleeping naked, google is your friend .
  • “You’re pregnant I hope you know that “I muttered
  • “Of course I know I currently have orange juice in a bottle of henny to ease the suspicions .Tys having a little New Years celebration at the rest or rant , wish you were here yaya“
  • “Miss you too Sal ,good thing to hear that they’ve finally opened the restaurant” I tried to hold back my laughter .
  • “Ty’s abuelito has been on his throat since the incident and oh my God Yaya you don’t want to be in his shoes . After a little investigation here and there , it turned out to be a set up by the head waitress”
  • I gasped “you can’t be serious, such a ratface”
  • “I sure am, a receipt of bought pet cockroaches was found in her locker but she kept denying it ,could you imagine that? Like girl everything points to you why are you still lying. And when it was traced back to the seller, he claimed it was a little boy who actually bought them that day.“
  • I gasp again and pretended to be shocked “oh my why could she do that to poor Ty “
  • “My pregnant instincts is telling me that other rest or rant down the street, the one with the food poisoning ish,bribed her real good”
  • “Oh yeah I’m so sure, the food business is cut throat to be honest with you and you can never trust anyone “
  • “She got fired anyway poor, girl”
  • Leaving my room , I wandered into the kitchen searching for what to eat with my eyes subdued with thick sleep.I opened my fridge and scowled at the intensity of the light .
  • “I have to go eat some cake now Sal , love you and don’t drink too much henny a la orange”
  • I cut the call and put my phone on the counter before she had the chance to say anything else .
  • It’s been 9 weeks since I moved to Miami with Wena and got a job as a dog walker making a minimum of $5,000 per month , yep dog owners in Miami were that stacked. Anddd I was lucky to settle down in a $4,000 per month studio apartment with a roommate of course I’m not that stacked to afford the whole rent . No I’m not lucky I’m blessed , yes!
  • “I need some motivation for this” I muttered to myself while scrolling through Spotify .
  • “Yep this the one “ I played Miami by Nicki Minaj
  • “I ain’t really finna tell y’all how to get away with murder and shit-“
  • I sure did get away with a roaches plan . TO FREEDOM
  • “Just the other day I was out in miami”
  • I sang along while cutting the perfect slice of cake to celebrate the new year.
  • “Got some real pretty titties that come with a fatty too much money , I ain’t never need a sugar da……”
  • “Of course you need a sugar daddy with your fat head” Out of no where came Nengi
  • “Shit” I looked at my precious little cake consumed by the kitchen floor tiles “I thought you were out celebrating with your girlfriend”
  • “We’re on a break”
  • “Hmm , I can tell”
  • “Piss off”
  • My flatmate aka only friend in the world currently ,is the biggest team player I could have asked for, apart from Sally. She’s a face model and marketing major graduate from the university of Miami . We met at a food court in MIA when I first arrived all thanks to Wena’s cuteness. The last born of a Nigerian Oil tycoon and ex nollywood 60’s it girl , she is the embodiment of numerous human virtues but quiet is not one of them.
  • “Such a good way to usher your bff into the new year”i retorted while sulking and my precious cake on the floor
  • “Cheers to that “ she handed me one glass of Irish cream she had poured while I was mourning my cake
  • “Spill everything right now “
  • “Spill what ?”
  • “It’s uncanny for you to drink out of the blue ,most especially at this unholy hour, you guys broke up didn’t you”
  • “Ooh you’re very very observant , we didn’t break up we just took a break” she sniffed and muttered “ok you got me there”
  • I leaned forward across the island unit and tried to soothe her .
  • “She wants me to introduce her to my parents”
  • “What’s wrong with that?You both love each other ” I asked
  • “Oh my God Tanya, as her girlfriend “
  • “Shit”
  • “My NIGERIAN CHRISTIAN parents sis, how am I supposed to do that ? They’re homophobic, I’m not ready to come out to them , I still love my baby girl lifestyle. Zina has vehemently refused to understand.” she solemnly pressed her lips tight and stifled a sob
  • “Don’t cry baby , you don’t need to come out if you’re not ready ok? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror ? You’re a bad bitch that attracts both genders , you know what that means”
  • “But she’s not just some some girl or boy” she looked down and her braids fell over eyes.
  • I caught her face in my hands, forcing her to meet my eyes
  • “I know you’ve probably heard it a million
  • times, but time is wise and it heals all wounds. You are the strongest person I know, and I have no doubt that you wil get through anything I love you nengi baby”
  • “Oh wow Advice Tan is out”
  • “I know right , that’s enough fluffy shit for the year”
  • “It’s just the first day of the year”
  • “Exactly !”
  • “So …. Since Zina and i and currently on a break….”
  • “Whatever you’re asking , NO!”i wailed and ran to the living room
  • “Hey that’s unfair , I’m not even done talking you dunce”
  • “I just hope it isn’t what I think it is”
  • “Hear me out”
  • “It’s not my scene Nene and you know that”
  • “Jeez, not that I want you to scissor me”
  • “I would gladly do that instead chile… my room or your room”
  • “I already told my dad I’ll be bringing a friend , it’s going to be lonely out there with rich old men“ she shudders
  • “Still ,NO!”
  • And then she brought out her emotional manipulative puppy eyes
  • “I give up”
  • Widely known as "summer camp for billionaires," with participants from Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg to Apple's Tim Cook would gather for a week of outdoor activities like hiking and tennis – and of course, networking and plenty of dealmaking.
  • It's unlike any summer camp you have heard hundreds of the world's most powerful people in tech, media and markets once again made a pilgrimage to Carillon Miami wellness resort to attend an exclusive conference organized by the investment bank Ali and Brooks.
  • “Not Wena eating the cake on the floor” Nengi shrieked while I turned to see Wena sprawled on the floor taking one lick at a time
  • “How did you even get here? What am I going to do with you this girl.” I picked her up while she tried licking my face with icing on her tongue
  • “Don’t worry I’ll help you clean it up”
  • “If this is your attempt to make me agree, then no it’s not going to work, it’s in March that’s enough time for you to get a new boo”
  • “I don’t think that’s how I move unto a new person”
  • “I’ll sleep over it every night till March”
  • “Even if I buy a chocolate factory for you?”
  • I pretend to think about it “My former offer still stands”
  • “You really should…..”
  • I tuned out and disappeared into my room