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Chapter 42 How suits at law are bred at first, and how they come afterward_o their perfect growth

  • For this cause, quoth Bridlegoose, going on in his discourse, I temporize an_pply myself to the times, as your other worships use to do, waiting patientl_or the maturity of the process, full growth and perfection thereof in all it_embers, to wit, the writings and the bags. Arg. in l. si major. c. commun.
  • divid. et de cons. di. 1. c. solemnitates, et ibi gl. A suit in law at it_roduction, birth, and first beginning, seemeth to me, as unto your othe_orships, shapeless, without form or fashion, incomplete, ugly and imperfect,
  • even as a bear at his first coming into the world hath neither hands, skin,
  • hair, nor head, but is merely an inform, rude, and ill-favoured piece and lum_f flesh, and would remain still so, if his dam, out of the abundance of he_ffection to her hopeful cub, did not with much licking put his members int_hat figure and shape which nature had provided for those of an arctic an_rsinal kind; ut not. Doct. ff. ad l. Aquil. l. 3. in fin. Just so do I see,
  • as your other worships do, processes and suits in law, at their first bringin_orth, to be numberless, without shape, deformed, and disfigured, for tha_hen they consist only of one or two writings, or copies of instruments,
  • through which defect they appear unto me, as to your other worships, foul,
  • loathsome, filthy, and misshapen beasts. But when there are heaps of thes_egiformal papers packed, piled, laid up together, impoked, insatchelled, an_ut up in bags, then is it that with a good reason we may term that suit, t_hich, as pieces, parcels, parts, portions, and members thereof, they d_ertain and belong, well-formed and fashioned, big-limbed, strong-set, and i_ll and each of its dimensions most completely membered. Because forma da_sse. rei. l. si is qui. ff. ad leg. Falcid. in c. cum dilecta. de rescript.
  • Barbat. consil. 12. lib. 2, and before him, Baldus, in c. ult. extra. d_onsuet. et l. Julianus ad exhib. ff. et l. quaesitum. ff. de leg. 3. Th_anner is such as is set down in gl. p. quaest. 1. c. Paulus.
  • Debile principium melior fortuna sequetur.
  • Like your other worships, also the sergeants, catchpoles, pursuivants,
  • messengers, summoners, apparitors, ushers, door-keepers, pettifoggers,
  • attorneys, proctors, commissioners, justices of the peace, judge delegates,
  • arbitrators, overseers, sequestrators, advocates, inquisitors, jurors,
  • searchers, examiners, notaries, tabellions, scribes, scriveners, clerks,
  • pregnotaries, secondaries, and expedanean judges, de quibus tit. est. l. 3.
  • c., by sucking very much, and that exceeding forcibly, and licking at th_urses of the pleading parties, they, to the suits already begot an_ngendered, form, fashion, and frame head, feet, claws, talons, beaks, bills,
  • teeth, hands, veins, sinews, arteries, muscles, humours, and so forth, throug_ll the similary and dissimilary parts of the whole; which parts, particles,
  • pendicles, and appurtenances are the law pokes and bags, gl. de cons. d. 4. c.
  • accepisti. Qualis vestis erit, talia corda gerit. Hic notandum est, that i_his respect the pleaders, litigants, and law-suitors are happier than th_fficers, ministers, and administrators of justice. For beatius est dare qua_ccipere. ff. commun. l. 3. extra. de celebr. Miss. c. cum Marthae. et 24.
  • quaest. 1. cap. Od. gl.
  • Affectum dantis pensat censura tonantis.
  • Thus becometh the action or process by their care and industry to be of _omplete and goodly bulk, well shaped, framed, formed, and fashioned accordin_o the canonical gloss.
  • Accipe, sume, cape, sunt verba placentia Papae.
  • Which speech hath been more clearly explained by Albert de Ros, in verbo Roma.
  • Roma manus rodit, quas rodere non valet, odit.
  • Dantes custodit, non dantes spernit, et odit.
  • The reason whereof is thought to be this:
  • Ad praesens ova cras pullis sunt meliora.
  • ut est gl. in l. quum hi. ff. de transact. Nor is this all; for th_nconvenience of the contrary is set down in gloss. c. de allu. l. fin.
  • Quum labor in damno est, crescit mortalis egestas.
  • In confirmation whereof we find that the true etymology and exposition of th_ord process is purchase, viz. of good store of money to the lawyers, and o_any pokes—id est, prou-sacks—to the pleaders, upon which subject we have mos_elestial quips, gibes, and girds.
  • Ligitando jura crescunt; litigando jus acquiritur.
  • Item gl. in cap. illud extrem. de praesumpt. et c. de prob. l. instrum. l. no_pistolis. l. non nudis.
  • Et si non prosunt singula, multa juvant.
  • Yea but, asked Trinquamelle, how do you proceed, my friend, in crimina_auses, the culpable and guilty party being taken and seized upon flagrant_rimine? Even as your other worships use to do, answered Bridlegoose. First, _ermit the plaintiff to depart from the court, enjoining him not to presume t_eturn thither till he preallably should have taken a good sound and profoun_leep, which is to serve for the prime entry and introduction to the lega_arrying on of the business. In the next place, a formal report is to be mad_o me of his having slept. Thirdly, I issue forth a warrant to convene hi_efore me. Fourthly, he is to produce a sufficient and authentic attestatio_f his having thoroughly and entirely slept, conform to the Gloss. 37. Quest.
  • 7. c. Si quis cum.
  • Quandoque bonus dormitat Homerus.
  • Being thus far advanced in the formality of the process, I find that thi_onsopiating act engendereth another act, whence ariseth the articulating of _ember. That again produceth a third act, fashionative of another member;
  • which third bringing forth a fourth, procreative of another act. New member_n a no fewer number are shapen and framed, one still breeding and begettin_nother—as, link after link, the coat of mail at length is made—till thus,
  • piece after piece, by little and little, by information upon information, th_rocess be completely well formed and perfect in all his members. Finally,
  • having proceeded this length, I have recourse to my dice, nor is it to b_hought that this interruption, respite, or interpellation is by me occasione_ithout very good reason inducing me thereunto, and a notable experience of _ost convincing and irrefragable force.
  • I remember, on a time, that in the camp at Stockholm there was a certai_ascon named Gratianauld, native of the town of Saint Sever, who having los_ll his money at play, and consecutively being very angry thereat—as you know,
  • Pecunia est alter sanguis, ut ait Anto. de Burtio, in c. accedens. 2. extra u_it. non contest. et Bald. in l. si tuis. c. de opt. leg. per tot.in l.
  • advocati. c. de advoc. div. jud. Pecunia est vita hominis et optimus fide-
  • jussor in necessitatibus—did, at his coming forth of the gaming-house, in th_resence of the whole company that was there, with a very loud voice speak i_is own language these following words: Pao cap de bious hillots, que maux d_ipes bous tresbire: ares que de pergudes sont les mires bingt, et quouatr_agnelles, ta pla donnerien pics, trucs, et patacts, Sey degun de bous aulx,
  • qui boille truquar ambe iou a bels embis. Finding that none would make him an_nswer, he passed from thence to that part of the leaguer where the huff-
  • snuff, honder sponder, swashbuckling High Germans were, to whom he renewe_hese very terms, provoking them to fight with him; but all the return he ha_rom them to his stout challenge was only, Der Gasconner thut sich ausz mi_in iedem zu schlagen, aber er ist geneigter zu stehlen, darum, liebe frawen,
  • habt sorg zu euerm hauszrath. Finding also that none of that band of Teutoni_oldiers offered himself to the combat, he passed to that quarter of th_eaguer where the French freebooting adventurers were encamped, an_eiterating unto them what he had before repeated to the Dutch warriors,
  • challenged them likewise to fight with him, and therewithal made some prett_ittle Gasconado frisking gambols to oblige them the more cheerfully an_allantly to cope with him in the lists of a duellizing engagement; but n_nswer at all was made unto him. Whereupon the Gascon, despairing of meetin_ith any antagonists, departed from thence, and laying himself down not fa_rom the pavilions of the grand Christian cavalier Crissie, fell fast asleep.
  • When he had thoroughly slept an hour or two, another adventurous and all-
  • hazarding blade of the forlorn hope of the lavishingly wasting gamesters,
  • having also lost all his moneys, sallied forth with sword in his hand, of _irm resolution to fight with the aforesaid Gascon, seeing he had lost as wel_s he.
  • Ploratur lachrymis amissa pecunia veris,
  • saith the Gl. de poenitent. distinct. 3. c. sunt plures. To this effect havin_ade inquiry and search for him throughout the whole camp, and in seque_hereof found him asleep, he said unto him, Up, ho, good fellow, in the nam_f all the devils of hell, rise up, rise up, get up! I have lost my money a_ell as thou hast done; let us therefore go fight lustily together, grappl_nd scuffle it to some purpose. Thou mayest look and see that my tuck is n_onger than thy rapier. The Gascon, altogether astonished at his unexpecte_rovocation, without altering his former dialect spoke thus: Cap de Sain_rnault, quau seys to you, qui me rebeillez? Que mau de taberne te gire. H_aint Siobe, cap de Gascoigne, ta pla dormy jou, quand aquoest taquain m_ingut estee. The venturous roister inviteth him again to the duel, but th_ascon, without condescending to his desire, said only this: He paovret jo_esquinerie ares, que son pla reposat. Vayne un pauque te pausar com jou,
  • peusse truqueren. Thus, in forgetting his loss, he forgot the eagerness whic_e had to fight. In conclusion, after that the other had likewise slept _ittle, they, instead of fighting, and possibly killing one another, wen_ointly to a sutler's tent, where they drank together very amicably, each upo_he pawn of his sword. Thus by a little sleep was pacified the ardent fury o_wo warlike champions. There, gossip, comes the golden word of John Andr. i_ap. ult. de sent. et re. judic. l. sexto.
  • Sedendo, et dormiendo fit anima prudens.