Chapter 8

• Jocelyn's POV
• I sat down beside the woman and took a look at my watch again. I sigh as I take my eyes away from the clock.
• 'Why do I keep looking at my wristwatch when I know that I have nothing to do. What a jobless fellow,' I curse as I look back up.
• I took a perfect look at her and assessed everything she was wearing. I began to do the calculations in my head without giving her any sign. I calculate the cost of everything from her hair to her glasses to her dress and her shoes. They all looked expensive, I must say, and must have a fortune.
• "Wow," I say in my head.
• I wish to be like her someday, and I know I will because I was born for greatness, and I was always a high flyer, but with the look of things now, I don't know when and how it was going to be possible, but I know God will help me.
• Immediately I look up, and I meet the eyes of this lovely woman again. She had a hot smile plastered on her face. I retake a deep breath as I brush my hair backward. I was beginning to feel hot.
• "Why the hell am I beginning to feel hot?" I ask myself.
• Maybe it's because of the presence of this woman. Her look and everything about her sent shivers to my spine. From the way she dressed to the bag she carried and the way she talked, you can tell that she was a woman of class.
• I wonder why she wants to talk to me and why she is not looking down on me the way other people have been doing since I'm black. I broke out in my thoughts when I realized that she was staring at me and probably waiting for me to start talking.
• I apologized for keeping her waiting and cursed myself for getting lost. I can't stand to miss another opportunity. What if this woman can help me.
• "I'm sorry," I whispered but loud enough for her to hear me.
• "I'm just so frustrated that I got lost in my thoughts," I say to her. She only just nodded her head at me, and I think that meant she understood.
• "I love your perfume," I tell her to ease a bit of pressure on me.
• "Thank you," as she placed her hands on the legs that were crossed. From the way she acted, you could tell that she didn't talk much, and I loved that about her.
• I did like her perfume. It had this unique scent. It smelled like lavender flowers mixed with other things. Unlike the cheap perfumes that I used, this one smelt nice, and you could tell that it cost a lot just from the scent.
• I retake a deep breath as I tell her everything that has happened to me. I didn't want to keep a woman in her class waiting, and besides, she might have a solution for my problems, so I was not about to delay my progress. I tell her everything that has been happening to me from the very beginning. I told her how I left my mother's house because she didn't trust me and didn't believe me.
• I told her that my mother trusted my stepfather over me and that she did not believe when I told her he was trying to take advantage of me.
• I pause for a second and look at her, and I see a shocked look on her face. "Yeah, surprising, right?" That's all I say as I continue.
• I tell her how I moved out of my mother's house and came down here to stay on my own. I felt if my mother could not trust me enough to believe my words, then there was no need to stay with her anymore. After all, I was done with school, so it was right for me to go into the world, explore and make a life for myself.
• "Ever since I left my mother's house, it has not been easy, I must say. If I knew this was how things were, I wouldn't have left. You have to fend for yourself and pay bills. I wish I could go back, but I don't want to. If I go back, then I would have to face the sexual harassment from my stepfather, and I don't have the strength for that." I told her.
• I was about to look up at her and be sure she was following all I was saying and I was not bugging her with my story when she spoke.
• "I wouldn't even advise that you go back there." I was relieved to know that she was following all I was saying.
• I was about to continue when I suddenly realized how free I was with this woman. I was meeting her for the first time, and I was already letting her in on all my life problems. Well, who knows what I stand to gain from this, and maybe she might help me, I say to myself.
• I quickly brushed my skirt back as the breeze lifted it. I remembered that I did not put on tight while leaving the house because I was rushing, so all that I had on was just my pants, and I didn't want any form of embarrassment.
• "Trying to build a life and getting a job in this city is very frustrating, I must say, especially if you are black. People I'm the offices do not even care if you possess all the qualities they need for the job. As long as you are black, they are sure not to give you the job. All of them are just bloody racists. Don't judge me. Not like I'm trying to generalize, but I'm just talking from experience."
• I paused for a while as the pleasant smell of pizza filled my nose. It must be coming from the pizza shop near the company.
• My stomach begins to growl, and I quickly adjust, hoping that she didn't hear it. I looked at her, and all she had on her face was still that priceless and warm smile plastered there.
• "she probably didn't hear the tummy growl," I assured myself.
• I won't blame myself anyway. I had not had anything good to eat in a while now. It has just been junked, and maybe my stomach couldn't take it any longer. Junk was what I could afford now, so I had to continue living on that until I found a suitable job enough to take care of my bills.
• I rubbed my tummy, hoping that she didn't hear the sound that came out, and then I continued talking, "Imagine being rejected by four companies, not one, not two, but four, and they all didn't have good excuses. To give."
• "From the way they all looked at me, I could tell that they all denied me the job because I am black. I possess all the requirements to help move their company forward, but just because they are racists, they decide to deny me the opportunity of working with them."
• I stop talking for a while and shake my head in frustration. I tried to stop myself from crying because the tears were already building up in my eyes, and I didn't want to break down in front of a stranger.
• I think she noticed that I was about to break down in tears, so she started searching her bag for something and brought out a tissue paper. She handed it to me and rubbed my shoulders.
• I took the tissue from her and cleaned the little tears that had dropped. I begin to breathe in and out continuously to hold my tears in.
• I was soon able to get a hold of myself, and I squeezed the tissue in my hand. I was about to toss it on the floor, but then I remembered my manners and also I was outside and in a company.
• From my experience with its CEO, I was tempted to throw the tissue down and not even look back because he deserved it. He didn't deserve to have his company kept clean while he discriminated against the black people. He had a foul heart, so his company should be as dirty as his heart was.
• I finally agreed not to throw the tissue on the floor, so I just held on to the tissue in my hand, and I looked at her. She had very calm eyes, I must say.
• "You know, with all these things happening to me, I would have begun to curse myself and wish that I never came out as a black, but I won't. I'm proud of my heritage, and nobody, not even any circumstance, can make me regret being black. I'm proud of who I am," I confidently say, meaning every word I just told her.
• "Wherever I go, people look at me with so much disgust in their eyes as if it's a curse to be black. It's so frustrating and annoying that people still do that in this present day and time," I finally tell her as I end my long, should I say speech or story.
• I look at her, and I see the pity in her eyes. She felt for me, and it was excellent. It was good to know that somebody cared for me in this city enough to sit down with me and listen to my long story despite our color differences.
• For a woman in her class, I must say I was highly honored, and I felt special that she took out time to listen to me.
• When I bumped into her, I could tell that she was going somewhere because of the way she was walking and a load of documents in her hand, but she had to leave all of that to listen to me, and it made me feel good.
• I still couldn't understand why I felt so free telling her all this stuff, but I felt relieved.
• I'm not the type to make friends easily and trust people on my issues, let alone a white person, after what I had been going through in the hands of those white CEOs. Talking to people sometimes really helps; I should start doing that often.