Chapter 4

• THE GIRL IN THE RESTAURANT
• And I am talking to Kristoff again, right here, right now. Maybe his unpredictable attitude caused every bit of my pissed emotion to turn a hundred and eighty degrees.
• Sure, he doesn’t love me. That I have reiterated all throughout. But I am thankful that he is there for me whenever I need him. And he remembers important dates even more than me.
• I thought I was the one who’s in love with him. Why is he the one remembering the important dates?
• Kristoff looked at me as he caught me staring at him. “What?” he asked me as he took a bite on his food.
• I shook my head. I want to tell him everything that I am feeling now. But no. What if he doesn’t like me back? What if he doesn’t love me back? I guess I couldn’t bear hearing that.
• He gave me a confused look. “You are getting weirder every day,” he told me.
• I looked at him. “Why?” I asked. “I am not doing anything weird you know.”
• He scoffed. “Yes? You just checked me out, didn’t you?” he asked me back, teasing me again.
• I scoffed. Okay, I was caught. Is it wrong to check on your own husband? Maybe it is.
• Why do the people so close seem to be so far away? I am just inches away from Kristoff and I think we are a hundred worlds apart. Why am I feeling this way? We are so open to each other but I think there is a huge, impenetrable wall separating us apart—one I cannot really break.
• I sighed hard and it must have bothered him because he immediately looked at me with a worried face.
• “What’s wrong?”
• I knew he would ask. Damn it, Kristoff. You being so kind and good and caring to me make me feel so awkward. It makes me feel like my heart is going to burst in all of the good and happy things that I should not feel because I know that you don’t feel it, too.
• He is making me fall hard. And right now, I think I really fell hard. Hard. Right on the ground. And it’s killing me.
• I want to know how he feels. I want to know if he secretly is falling for me, too. I want to know that he loves me back.
• But would that even happen in the near future? I wish I am still alive when that happens.
• I smiled at him. “What is your ideal type?” I asked in an unplanned way.
• He gave a queer look. Sorry, Kristoff. I am not joking when I asked that question.
• “Look to your right,” he said as he cocked his head to the right.
• I unconsciously obeyed what he said and saw this girl laughing with her friends. She looks like a model. I think she is tall. She has a long wavy hair that suits well with her body.
• And above all, she is a goddess. Her looks are so unearthly and I don’t know if there is someone that is even more beautiful than her.
• I smiled. So, that is his ideal type. What am I compared to that lady right? Who was I to expect that he would probably just tell me that he doesn’t have an ideal type because he has me in his life already? And who was I to expect he would like me?
• Of course he would choose girls with class. Like him. And this pretty girl. I am just a mere dirt on her hair. I think that I am not even worthy to touch any part of her body. She is holy gorgeous.
• I contained all the inferiority in me as I smiled at Kristoff, nodding and approving his taste. Not making him notice that I am on the verge of crying right now. Why am I feeling this way?
• I looked at him and smiled widely. A big fake wide smile.
• “You are good in choosing women, huh?” I teased.
• He chuckled. “Of course,” he said as his gaze diverted on this goddess.
• My heart hurt. I don’t know if I can still keep myself together because I think I am about to cry anytime soon. I can’t believe my feelings developed this far despite being on a one sided love. I can’t believe I was this dumb to believe he would describe a girl like me.
• I diverted my gaze on the city lights outside to calm myself and my heart. Sometimes I wish, I would just want to float away from here. Fly to a place where there is someone who will love me like the way I love him, somewhere where everything seems to get something in exchange, in return. Because I am tired of all this…
• In the middle of thinking, my phone rang. It was Min.
• “Why? What’s wrong?” I asked as I answered the phone. I know there is something wrong when Min calls. There is something she couldn’t find a solution of. There is something she couldn’t decide on.
• “Shan! We have a big problem!” she said as she panicked over the phone.
• I crooked my brows. “Why? What is it?” I asked, trying to calm myself.
• “The fashion show is going to be simultaneous with the launching of Jewel’s Shoppe!” She literally screamed over the phone.
• My heart dropped. “What?!” I scowled. No, this couldn’t be happening.
• The Jewel’s Shoppe is one of the largest accessory shops in the whole world. And now, they are opening a branch in Chicago. A lot of people are anticipating for this opening and with us simultaneously conducting the fashion show with them, we lose. We’ll really do lose.
• “Can’t we adjust the date?” I asked trying to think of a solution.
• I heard Min scream in frustration at the other line. “We tried calling the venue. They said they couldn’t book us any other day than the 28th. It’s the only day they are free,” she replied.
• My world just ended. This is the fashion show of my life. This is the biggest event I will be initiating.
• And now that Jewel’s Shoppe is going to open soon, I am going to sacrifice this dream for that freaking internationally-acclaimed accessory store!
• I sighed and plopped my head on the empty space of the table. Thinking about how my employees and I worked so hard for this fashion makes me sick. We were working day and night to have a successful show, not for this. Oh God, not for this.
• Kristoff stared at me like I was some kind of an insane lady in a table with him. “What’s wrong?” he asked, worried.
• I sighed. Why do the problems have to come to me all at the same time? Why must this be happening to me right now?
• I couldn’t help but cry when I realize that my efforts will all go to waste. All the things I have done in my whole career. Everything.
• Everything is going to be a waste of time. Everything is going to go down the drain. All my dreams are shattered.
• I wiped my tears as I smiled at Kristoff. “Nothing. Just…some wrinkles in the company,” I replied trying to assure everything.
• He looked at me with eyes that do not believe in my words. “Don’t you even lie to me like that,” he said as he passed me a tissue.
• I smiled. “Nothing really,” I insisted. “Just some black holes,” I replied.
• He shook his head. “Don’t mind about it okay? They will resolve on their own,” he advised as he helped me wipe the tears on my face.
• I smiled. I hope they will. Somehow, his words sort of calmed me down.
• But this is my biggest shot. This is what I have always wanted. This is what I ever wanted to do. To conduct. To happen. And now, everything is going to be gone.
• I don’t know what to do anymore! I am bothered by everything. Everything is not going well.
• Then there’s this pretty girl in the restaurant.
• Can the world just break into half and eat me up right in this very moment?