Chapter 4 Still living in the past

• ***POV - Melaena
• “Tell me the truth … are you in love with Ren?”
• I fall back onto the heap of clothes lying on top of the bed. Kiara still can’t decide what to wear. I know the answer … not that I would admit it. But my stuffed throat is not because of my new boyfriend … the fact that I can’t seem to breathe normally has more to do with the fact that I’m about to see Damion again.
• This past year, Kiara and I have been backpacking throughout Europe, and we only got to see the boys when they happened to travel for work or something … mostly Enrique. But Damion … well, we ended up going to his races in France and Italy but never met him in person. Let’s just say I watched him from a distance … and stalked him on social media like always. But now … I’m going to see him face-to-face again.
• It’s times like this that I miss my mom the most - but she’s been dead for almost 10 years already. Just a little while after the whole haunted house incident, in fact. But no matter how much time passes … the night we found her murdered in our house is not a night I will easily forget for as long as I live.
• We slipped out to go skateboarding … even though we were grounded again. I can’t remember what exactly we did wrong that time … but I do remember the smell of mom’s famous spaghetti bolognese drifting through the house as soon as we opened the door. We all immediately knew that we were caught red-handed … she returned earlier than normal. Me, I felt bad that we bought pizza, not expecting her to be home, and that it’s going to go to waste now. None of us would miss out on mom’s pasta.
• The twins tried to quickly escape to their rooms, hoping to avoid punishment, but then we all froze at the sight of blood on the floor between pieces of broken glass, the room a chaotic mess. I remember Jackson dropping his box of pizza, and vomiting in the flower pot next to the door before taking off his sneakers. Jackson could never stand the sight of blood for some reason and he stepped into a puddle.
• Ilkay told us to stay put and disappeared into the kitchen. The twins followed him a little later. Logan grabbed me and my 10-year-old body started shaking like mad. We formed a little duo of frozen, scared kids, silently waiting for something we could not even begin to understand.
• Ilkay returned like a zombie, dragging a sheet-white Enrique behind him, while Jackson left bloody footprints as far as he went – his socks drained – but this time he didn’t vomit. My big brother forced us all outside, making us sit on the porch until Uncle John arrived.
• Enrique threw up a few times into the rose garden and still looked like a ghost. Jackson was not looking any better, he kept on hitting the wall with his fist, leaving a scarlet pattern on the white paint. Logan never left my side, clutching so hard onto me it almost hurt. Uncle John hurried inside and after a while that seemed like forever, the police and ambulances showed up.
• They put blankets over our shoulders; the paramedics injected us and bandaged Jackson’s bloody hand before Uncle John took us all to his place. He told us that our mom was dead and that dad was gone. I lost both my parents in one night. My father would never have won the dad-of-the-year award, but he was still my father. We all knew he drank and worked too much, but he seemed to love us at least when he was around.
• I force my mind back to the present again. Why do I keep recalling the past tonight? But I think I know the answer – Damion.
• “It’s only been a couple of weeks, I can hardly be in love with him in such a short time.” I eventually answer Kiara.
• "Look, you know I don’t believe in the storybook kind of love, but I know you’re looking for that, so I’m speaking about something I know nothing about here, but I just think that you are looking for it in the wrong place. Or rather with the wrong guy.”
• She clicks her tongue when she sees my what-the-fudge frown. What does she know anyway? Ren is my first boyfriend, she knows that.
• “So are you going to have sex with him?” She seems a little agitated. She knows that I want my first time to be special. Yes, I know it’s cheesy, but it’s just who I am. In our senior year, Kiara started dating one of Axel’s friends, Don, and I know they did it on prom night, like most typical teenagers. But I’m different … I’m waiting for sparks, electricity, love – name it what you want, that special someone that’s going to knock me off my feet. And Ren is not him.
• “No,” I’ll rather wait at least until I feel consumed by lust “not until I’m sure, anyway,” I add as an afterthought.
• “And it’s got nothing to do with …. oh I don’t know …. some green-eyed bad-ass?” Now, why would Kiara bring him into the conversation? He’s the last one I want to think about when talking about sex, but still, he haunts me like the ghost-from-hell he is.
• “Ug, seriously? He’s like a fungus or something I can’t get rid of. And anyway, he’s bad, mad, and crazy, and I’m officially sure he doesn’t have a heart, at least not a beating one. I’m not going to get on that choo-choo train again. He goes through girls faster than my phone goes through data … you know that!”
• She doesn’t answer, but just pouts her lips and nods her head. I know she doesn’t believe me. Kiara is my best friend and she knows me even better than I know myself sometimes. I get up and pour some coffee before sitting on the sofa this time, slowly sipping my caffeine boost, watching Kiara piling more clothes on the bed. There’s a small knock on the door and then Axel’s face peeps in.
• “You decent.” He asks in a soft voice and we both yell ‘yes’ together. Axel has seen us like a million times in our pj’s before, but he always asks before he enters our rooms. He’s like our gay-but-not-gay best friend. It means that although he’s totally into girls and extremely hot, we like to think about him as a gay virgin. And I say ‘virgin’ in a very relaxed, casual sense since he also goes through girls like a knife through butter, but he hides it better than my brothers. And with looks like his, combined with his mysterious personality, he for sure as hell doesn’t find it too hard to woe the ladies. But there are no complicated feelings between us, it’s like he’s our brother from another mother. Since he helped us in the haunted house, the three of us have been inseparable.
• While Kiara and I took a gap year, traveling and backpacking through Europe and Asia, courtesy of Uncle John, of course, he became a fireman at Station 19. But the main reason he couldn’t join us was that he can’t interrupt his swimming – not if he wants to qualify for the Olympics.
• I silently watch him as he falls onto the sofa next to me – his delicious swimmer’s body packed on some more muscles … in a very attractive way, and his dark hair is now longer, making sexy curls in his neck. He still gives me vampire vibes … especially with those mysterious eyes that seem to hypnotize any normal person. But, although I still don’t know half of his rough childhood, even after all this time, I know enough. He’s no vampire, but just a vandalized boy that grew up to be a hero. A child with no childhood. No wonder he and Jackson are so close. They’re both slightly crazy … due to what happened in the past. Not that either of them shares anything with anybody … but I can guess there must be some demons haunting them.
• “So are you all packed and ready to move into your new home?” Axel asks with a smile.
• Yep, our days of leisure are over - it’s time to enter the real world as varsity freshmen in the next week. We are both enrolled at Stanford – Kiara is going to study accountancy, while I’m going into Computer Science and Graphic design. And just like each of my brothers, as well as Axel (whom Uncle John also seems to have adopted), Uncle John gave each of us our own luxurious townhouse with a view of the ocean … in the same complex. But we decided to stay together in Kiara’s house while renting out mine to a friend of Logan’s … some guy named Sean.
• “I can’t wait to become an official student,” I answer him, “and join all the things everybody is talking about.”
• “And what things might that be?” he scuffs with big eyes.
• “Eh, I want to run again … and dance and may also join the equestrian team … and then there are parties … you know … things students do,” I explain.
• “Oh, I see … you’re going to be busy that’s for sure. Are you at least going to have some time for that dimwit boyfriend of yours?” Axel pries. And to tell you the truth, I actually didn’t think about that. I just want to experience everything I can while I’m there.
• “Talking about Ren, what do you think about this newest relationship?” Kiara asks our friend, ignoring my stare.
• “Can you ladies PLEASE keep me out of your love lives?” Axel holds up his hands in defense, “But speaking as a completely objective third-party observer with no interest in the matter, I think Ren is a scapegoat because you’re too scared of the devil you secretly want.” Axel pulls an unsatisfying innocent pleading face and Kiara points a finger at him in an I-told-you-so motion.
• “What I secretly want is new supportive loving and sympathetic best friends.” But his words get me thinking about the day just before we left for Europe.
• Damion teased me and got on my nerves like always, but then I grinned into his smuck face like a cat smelling cream.
• “What?” He asked, standing rather close to me; making my hair stand up.
• “Just think, I won’t have to put up with all your crap for a whole year!” I gleamed. Damion got this glint in his eyes and slowly moved towards me, a smirk plastered over his way too handsome face.
• “Damion, if you come any closer I’ll castrate you for sure!” I yelled, but he didn’t even waver, he pushed me against the wall, his arms on both sides of me, closing me in. I wanted him to kiss me so badly, yes … I know … pathetic, right?
• “I’ll miss you, my little angel.” His voice was husky and his minty breath sent goosebumps down my body. He kept me there for who knows how long, both of us just staring into each other’s eyes as if frozen. Eventually, he stood back, leaving me feeling cold, unsatisfied, and all tensed up. He left with a wink and a knowing smile.
• Ug, how I hate that guy! He seems to haunt me no matter where I go … even overseas … Kiara and I shared some romantic kisses with a few handsome foreigners during our travels, nothing serious or hairraising, but like clockwork, his emerald eyes were teasing me in my mind. Do you know how frustrating that can be? He’s killing my love life.
• “You guys getting ready already?” Logan enters the room, followed by the rest of my brothers. I shake the cobwebs out of my head. Tonight is the last day before we move off to our new lives and Uncle John is throwing a bash here at his mansion.
• Ilkay’s eyes find mine and I can see he's worried about something, nothing new, my brother is always worried. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty damn sure that one was born worried. He’s responsible, reliable, calm, and clever, and I mean extremely clever, like a certified genius. At the age of 24, he is already finishing his internship, and starting the new year he’ll continue his residency to become a neurosurgeon.
• My eyes move over to Enrique, the cocky playboy, age 23 is the fun one I’ll call to bail me out of the fire. He’s also very annoyingly observant, just like his twin, and I struggle to hide things from them. Enrique is a super successful international model and actor and also shares ownership of a nightclub called ‘Inferno’ with Logan. He winks, making me smile.
• Jackson is hanging on to his twin brother. He plays right-wing for the Sharks at the moment, and he is the definite troublemaker bad-ass with a short fuse – not someone you want to piss off. He’s always in the cross-hairs of the paparazzi … for all the wrong reasons.
• I turn my head to look at Logan, age 21, leaning against the wall. He’s the star quarterback for the 49ers and my dramatic brother, the quick-tempered drama queen. And just like his siblings, he can’t seem to stay out of trouble and the tabloids.
• “Mel!” Enrique jumps on top of me, making me almost spill the last coffee.
• “You’re daydreaming AGAIN!” Logan pulls the last words out and I just give him a faint smile. Yes, it’s something I do a lot, I know – a side effect of my ADHD. I call it brain-running. It’s as if I just can’t switch off my brain, even at night. As much as I hate to admit it, mostly it’s about Damion. Don’t judge, I don’t have to like the guy to divulge how incredibly sexy he is, but that’s not it … usually I think about how much I hate him, or how to get back at the ass-head dick. Not that I ever think about his ass … or his dick … oof, Mel, oof.
• “I was just dreaming of my sweet little brothers.” I spit out the lie without even blinking my eyes.
• “Ug, that’s not creepy at all.” Logan moans pulling his I-smell-shit face. I stick out my tongue at them and get up to start looking for something to wear.
• “Maybe you girls should start titivating for the party tonight, while us boys go and get something to drink.” They all get up and move out of my room and I hear Enrique’s sexist comment “Damn, it’s good to be a man!”
• “I’ll go check if Damion showed up,” Logan speaks, “he’s bringing me a new microphone from Switzerland.” Logan is a prominent Youtuber in his spare time … and he’s pretty good at it. He’s also my only brother that would get this excited over some piece of technology equipment.
• “You know that Jason is also going to be here, right?” Kiara asks me as soon as the boys leave. I pull a face. Jason grew out of his cowardice over the years and turned into a hunky jock and one of the most popular boys in school, but he’s still the same jerk. And for some reason, he started harassing me, even now while I’m in a relationship with his friend. I haven’t told Ren about it … maybe because I don’t want to ruin their bromance … or because I know I can handle Jason by myself.
• But my mind is not on Jason or Ren. I’m wondering when Damion came back from Europe. I knew he was there … his agenda is all over the news all the time … he raced in Spain. Even though I hate his guts, I must admire his performance on the track. He’s the youngest motorbike Grand Prix champion ever, and he keeps on breaking records as if it’s nothing.
• But it’s not like I always watch his races on TV or something. Ok, I watch some … maybe most, or all of them … but it’s because I like bikes and also because my brothers watch them. It’s got nothing to do with him. I still don’t know why my stupid brother had to go and make friends with the worst guy ever.