FEW DAYS AFTER ABRAM’S NIGHTMARE with Felix in his apartment, on 15 May. Since then, he has tried to forget about it. But whenever he is alone, he remembers. Those words of Felix still flashes into his brain. A day before after, Abram was in his bathroom when the exact words of “I know you know I know” keeps re-taping itself into the consciousness of Abram. He began to ask himself, how Felix manages to know or suspect that I am a gay. How? He continues repeating it all over again in the exact way Felix Odogun had used it. He was suspicious of Felix and told himself, “I think I am being watch.”
All through he was in the bathroom, he was restless and unable to let go those words he believes were hurting him. When he came out, wet to his toes. He notices he had a missed call, he checked it and it was Christiana, his former girlfriend, who left him years ago. “What did she wants from me”, he said. “After she left me pieces, she thinks I will not survive the trauma.” Then, Abram Festus was in a brief relationship with her before the whole thing went down like a dying flame. His passion afterwards, dies. No emotion with the opposites resurrected him again, after his mutual encounter with Mathew Gozie.
His diary reflected how he felt the first time he met Mat. I was in a bar, nursing my wounds, the Dracula mark Christiana left at my back when this dude came and sat beside me. He introduced himself and said, “my name is Mathew Gozie.” That’s all. He never said more than introducing his name. I looked at him with an angry face and said nothing. He notices I was pissed off. He paused and asked again, “do you lost someone? Or are you indebted? Has your wife left you?” Many questions roll off his tinted lip while I sit trying to cure the sores in my soul.
Mat persistence was civil that I picked interest on the questions he was asking me. I notice he wanted to be a friend, at least, to share with me my broken moment. So, I opened up. “It was my girlfriend.” He smiled and said, “Girlfriend? Is that the reason, why you are sober, mourning for someone?” I didn’t say a word but just sip my chill bottle of beer. After a while, I introduced myself to him as Abrama Kingsley Benson. “Wow!” he exclaimed, “that is a wonderful names with plenty V sounds, CKB.” We both laughed.
Gradually, we are beginning to know each other. Then, I never knew Mat Gozie was a gay. He never displayed it. His look is like every man, I mean in physique. There is no trace whether he is gay or not. Maybe, then, he has his reason of not opening the closest of himself for people to notice. I, on the other hand, I am just a simple guy. That day, Abram continue the memory in his diary: we spent an hour or so together in gist that I nearly forget all those sharp cuts in my memory.
Mat made me to forget all the fairytale about men, women connection. At first, I saw him as a dangerous cocksucker fellow. And as our friendship deepen, not as fuckers but as friends, I begin to realize the state of his mind. That same day we had gotten to know each other, he said something that triggers me. “How do you see man-woman relationship that you want to mutilate yourself?” I was shock at the question. I never expected it to hit me.