"WHAT SECRET?" I ASK WITH curiosity but Steve refuses to say further. Instead, he said, "when is time, you will know, Emiz." This conversation was when Steve and I met at the library corridor. When he develops passion for me (and still does) and expresses the way he feels about me.
He said this in a calm and romantic way, I got lost in the tunnel of his words. No doubt, Steve also has been worried about the sharp claws of HCBS on us, who are not conventional.
Felix, who is the new librarian, I guess didn't know about these things. He relates with Damsy and I in a chummy manner. He hasn't suspected anything that I am gay as other boys who hide in their prosecution. Felix sees me as one dove that can't hunt a flea. As a librarian, he is.
Felix has the right as same as the boys, to read books from the library. He is not a gay but empathize with those who are gay. I believe he is an atheist or some sort of materialist but he doesn't allow Hill Crest to know his real identity.
Maybe, it is my assumption, not until one day after class, Damsy and I decide to visit Mr Felix in his office at the corner of the library. It was that sunny day, while we are discussing some of the books, we have collected from the library and to be returned, he said something in relation to the issue of gay. At first, I thought he is against it. But as we deepen our discussion, his utterance became clearer like crystal ball. He made us to understand that becoming a gay or lesbians is something society need to respect.
He said that one of his cousins is a gay. He has been one since when he's sixteen. The parents never knew until they saw him kissing a fellow in the same estate where the parents has a building. When Mr Felix is narrated his cousin ordeal, which later left the country to further his education in the United States.