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Chapter 51 Nicole's Claims

  • Aiden's Pov I could not believe it! I could not believe any of it! I had just shifted into a big black wolf with mismatched eyes and I had gone ahead to hurt Nicole. It was a dream, right? I was dreaming, wasn't I? None of those things had happened, right? It just didn't make sense so it could not be true. Even when I tried to assure myself by saying all these, deep down, I knew it was real. I couldn't believe I had done that and I was completely ashamed of myself. How could I have done that to Nicole? How could I have allowed myself to turn into a beast and hurt the one person I should never hurt? I could still remember how I had criticized the rogue wolf which had attacked Nicole on one of her adventures but here I was, doing worst. I couldn't bear to think of what would have happened had no one come to her rescue. Would I have stopped? Would I have regained my senses before doing something I would regret for the rest of my life — not that I didn't regret this but if I had killed Nicole, then I would have completely lost it? A sigh escaped my lips as I finally tore my eyes from the mirror I had been staring at since and my gaze fell on my hands; the same hands whose claws had sunken into Nicole's soft skin. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to stop myself from trembling so badly. Remembering all that made me shudder. What did Nicole think of me now? Sure, she thought I was a monster and a murderer, one she should stay away from. I was sure she hated me now and would want nothing to do with me. I knew I had no right to blame her for that but it would hurt me if she did hate me now. My hands were trembling badly as I sat on my bed, covered with a cloak. My eyes returned to the wall mirror I had been staring at since I morphed back to my human form and I gazed at my reflection. A pair of golden-brown eyes stared back at me and I wondered how they had changed colours before. It was a good thing five maids had come to Nicole's rescue before I tore her apart. Even at that, I had injured all of them and they had all escaped narrowly, locking the door behind them to stop me from going after them. I could still remember how I had banged at the door vociferously like I was going to push it down. Apart from the door handle breaking a bit, the door didn't budge. Good thing the wood was strong. I didn't know what my untamed wolf would have done if the door had opened. My untamed wolf? Did I just call that nasty beast mine? Sure, that couldn't be my wolf. I was wolfless. I had no wolf. I would keep telling myself that until I believed it because there was no way I was going to accept that beast. Where had he been when I needed it? Where had he been on the shape-shifting ceremony, when I was traumatized, judged, and trampled upon? Where had it been for seven good years? And now that he finally decided to show up, his first action was to pounce on Nicole who had done nothing but be good to me. I didn't think I could ever forgive him. The door creaked slightly open, just enough space for a pair of blue eyes to peep into the room. My head snapped up the moment I heard the creak and when I locked gaze with her, I looked away immediately, too ashamed to meet her gaze. It was quiet for a while and just when I thought she wanted to leave, she pushed the door widely open and walked in. My eyes widened as I watched her and in no time, she was standing by my side, peering at me through her lashes. My heart squeezed in pain as I saw the bandage on her cheek and I looked away once again, guilt sweeping through me. "You shouldn't be here, Nicole. I'm a monster." I spoke slowly, afraid that I might break down in tears if I was not careful. The pain I was feeling was too excruciating to bear. Seeing her this way and knowing that I had done that to her seared my heart. It was silent for a while before Nicole spoke, "You're not a monster, Aiden." She said quietly and I looked up so I could look into her eyes. "What are you saying, Nicole? I fucking pounced on you. I could have ripped you apart if no one came to your rescue." "No, you wouldn't." Nicole sat down next to me on the bed. She sat so close that our bodies were touching and I wondered if she had soon forgotten how I had hovered around her like a beast. How then could she remain this calm around me? How could she sit this close like I had not just wounded her? Her body was covered with bandages and I had seen her limp when she walked. I wondered how much pain I had inflicted on her. I knew quite too well that I had done more damage than I could see. Too guilty to even be around her, I shifted so that there would be some space between us. Nicole's blue eyes followed my movement and she frowned at that. She made to shift closer but I shook my head at her. "No, please." I pleaded, my voice an octave lower. The lump in my throat was making it difficult for me to speak. "Aiden." She drew my name, her lips forming a pout. "It's really not your fault. You don't have to condemn yourself for it. Don't feel bad!" "What?" I yelled, unable to control myself. I knew I had no right to yell at her but she was being quite ridiculous right now. "What do you mean by it isn't really my fault? Whose fault is it then? Yours?" I yelled again. "Calm down, Aiden." Nicole rubbed her chin warily. "Don't ask me to calm down, Nicole!" I growled, now very angry. "Look what I did to you. Just take a look at the mirror in case you are quick to forget. I did this to you, Nicole." My voice softened. "I'm a monster. Only a monster will act the way I had acted. I don't deserve to be here with you. I think I should just leave." I rose to my feet but Nicole held me back, a glare on her face. "Now, don't you say that!" She warned. "I meant what I said. It isn't your fault." "Nicole. That's bullshit." I stressed the word. How could she say that? "I don't know if you're saying all these to make me feel better but you're making me feel worse. It's not helping at all. Stop trying to act like you are fine. Scream at me if you want to. Heck, you can even hit me. You can ram my face into the wall or cut my wrist open. Just do something to show your emotion. I know you are not fine so just fucking react. Do something to — " I could not go further because Nicole had slammed her lips on mine. I froze, my eyes wide open as I tried to understand what was happening. But just as quickly as she had slammed her lips on mine, she pulled away, a slight blush on her cheeks. "I know what harm your wolf did to me, Aiden. But I still maintain that it is not your fault." She proclaimed, her blue eyes staring right into mine. † † † (A/N: Nicole is strongly convinced that it wasn't Aiden's fault. Could this be her love for him speaking or does she know something he doesn't?)
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