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Chapter 7 How Pantagruel came to Paris, and of the choice books of th_ibrary of St. Victor

  • After that Pantagruel had studied very well at Orleans, he resolved to see th_reat University at Paris; but, before his departure, he was informed tha_here was a huge big bell at St. Anian in the said town of Orleans, under th_round, which had been there above two hundred and fourteen years, for it wa_o great that they could not by any device get it so much as above the ground, although they used all the means that are found in Vitruvius de Architectura, Albertus de Re Aedificatoria, Euclid, Theon, Archimedes, and Hero de Ingeniis; for all that was to no purpose. Wherefore, condescending heartily to th_umble request of the citizens and inhabitants of the said town, he determine_o remove it to the tower that was erected for it. With that he came to th_lace where it was, and lifted it out of the ground with his little finger a_asily as you would have done a hawk's bell or bellwether's tingle-tangle; but, before he would carry it to the foresaid tower or steeple appointed fo_t, he would needs make some music with it about the town, and ring it alongs_ll the streets as he carried it in his hand, wherewith all the people wer_ery glad. But there happened one great inconveniency, for with carrying i_o, and ringing it about the streets, all the good Orleans wine turne_nstantly, waxed flat and was spoiled, which nobody there did perceive til_he night following; for every man found himself so altered and a-dry wit_rinking these flat wines, that they did nothing but spit, and that as whit_s Malta cotton, saying, We have of the Pantagruel, and our very throats ar_alted. This done, he came to Paris with his retinue. And at his entr_veryone came out to see him—as you know well enough that the people of Pari_s sottish by nature, by B flat and B sharp—and beheld him with grea_stonishment, mixed with no less fear that he would carry away the palace int_ome other country, a remotis, and far from them, as his father formerly ha_one the great peal of bells at Our Lady's Church to tie about his mare'_eck. Now after he had stayed there a pretty space, and studied very well i_ll the seven liberal arts, he said it was a good town to live in, but not t_ie; for that the grave-digging rogues of St. Innocent used in frosty night_o warm their bums with dead men's bones. In his abode there he found th_ibrary of St. Victor a very stately and magnific one, especially in som_ooks which were there, of which followeth the Repertory and Catalogue, E_rimo,
  • The for Godsake of Salvation.
  • The Codpiece of the Law.
  • The Slipshoe of the Decretals.
  • The Pomegranate of Vice.
  • The Clew-bottom of Theology.
  • The Duster or Foxtail-flap of Preachers, composed by Turlupin.
  • The Churning Ballock of the Valiant.
  • The Henbane of the Bishops.
  • Marmotretus de baboonis et apis, cum Commento Dorbellis.
  • Decretum Universitatis Parisiensis super gorgiasitate muliercularum
  • ad placitum.
  • The Apparition of Sancte Geltrude to a Nun of Poissy, being in
  • travail at the bringing forth of a child.
  • Ars honeste fartandi in societate, per Marcum Corvinum (Ortuinum).
  • The Mustard-pot of Penance.
  • The Gamashes, alias the Boots of Patience.
  • Formicarium artium.
  • De brodiorum usu, et honestate quartandi, per Sylvestrem Prioratem
  • Jacobinum.
  • The Cosened or Gulled in Court.
  • The Frail of the Scriveners.
  • The Marriage-packet.
  • The Cruizy or Crucible of Contemplation.
  • The Flimflams of the Law.
  • The Prickle of Wine.
  • The Spur of Cheese.
  • Ruboffatorium (Decrotatorium) scholarium.
  • Tartaretus de modo cacandi.
  • The Bravades of Rome.
  • Bricot de Differentiis Browsarum.
  • The Tailpiece-Cushion, or Close-breech of Discipline.
  • The Cobbled Shoe of Humility.
  • The Trivet of good Thoughts.
  • The Kettle of Magnanimity.
  • The Cavilling Entanglements of Confessors.
  • The Snatchfare of the Curates.
  • Reverendi patris fratris Lubini, provincialis Bavardiae, de gulpendis
  • lardslicionibus libri tres.
  • Pasquilli Doctoris Marmorei, de capreolis cum artichoketa comedendis,
  • tempore Papali ab Ecclesia interdicto.
  • The Invention of the Holy Cross, personated by six wily Priests.
  • The Spectacles of Pilgrims bound for Rome.
  • Majoris de modo faciendi puddinos.
  • The Bagpipe of the Prelates.
  • Beda de optimitate triparum.
  • The Complaint of the Barristers upon the Reformation of Comfits.
  • The Furred Cat of the Solicitors and Attorneys.
  • Of Peas and Bacon, cum Commento.
  • The Small Vales or Drinking Money of the Indulgences.
  • Praeclarissimi juris utriusque Doctoris Maistre Pilloti, &c.,
  • Scrap-farthingi de botchandis glossae Accursianae Triflis repetitio
  • enucidi-luculidissima.
  • Stratagemata Francharchiaeri de Baniolet.
  • Carlbumpkinus de Re Militari cum Figuris Tevoti.
  • De usu et utilitate flayandi equos et equas, authore Magistro nostro
  • de Quebecu.
  • The Sauciness of Country-Stewards.
  • M.N. Rostocostojambedanesse de mustarda post prandium servienda,
  • libri quatuordecim, apostillati per M. Vaurillonis.
  • The Covillage or Wench-tribute of Promoters.
  • (Jabolenus de Cosmographia Purgatorii.)
  • Quaestio subtilissima, utrum Chimaera in vacuo bonbinans possit
  • comedere secundas intentiones; et fuit debatuta per decem
  • hebdomadas in Consilio Constantiensi.
  • The Bridle-champer of the Advocates.
  • Smutchudlamenta Scoti.
  • The Rasping and Hard-scraping of the Cardinals.
  • De calcaribus removendis, Decades undecim, per M. Albericum de Rosata.
  • Ejusdem de castramentandis criminibus libri tres.
  • The Entrance of Anthony de Leve into the Territories of Brazil.
  • (Marforii, bacalarii cubantis Romae) de peelandis aut unskinnandis
  • blurrandisque Cardinalium mulis.
  • The said Author's Apology against those who allege that the Pope's
  • mule doth eat but at set times.
  • Prognosticatio quae incipit, Silvii Triquebille, balata per M.N., the
  • deep-dreaming gull Sion.
  • Boudarini Episcopi de emulgentiarum profectibus Aeneades novem,
  • cum privilegio Papali ad triennium et postea non.
  • The Shitabranna of the Maids.
  • The Bald Arse or Peeled Breech of the Widows.
  • The Cowl or Capouch of the Monks.
  • The Mumbling Devotion of the Celestine Friars.
  • The Passage-toll of Beggarliness.
  • The Teeth-chatter or Gum-didder of Lubberly Lusks.
  • The Paring-shovel of the Theologues.
  • The Drench-horn of the Masters of Arts.
  • The Scullions of Olcam, the uninitiated Clerk.
  • Magistri N. Lickdishetis, de garbellisiftationibus horarum canonicarum,
  • libri quadriginta.
  • Arsiversitatorium confratriarum, incerto authore.
  • The Gulsgoatony or Rasher of Cormorants and Ravenous Feeders.
  • The Rammishness of the Spaniards supergivuregondigaded by Friar Inigo.
  • The Muttering of Pitiful Wretches.
  • Dastardismus rerum Italicarum, authore Magistro Burnegad.
  • R. Lullius de Batisfolagiis Principum.
  • Calibistratorium caffardiae, authore M. Jacobo Hocstraten hereticometra.
  • Codtickler de Magistro nostrandorum Magistro nostratorumque beuvetis,
  • libri octo galantissimi.
  • The Crackarades of Balists or stone-throwing Engines, Contrepate
  • Clerks, Scriveners, Brief-writers, Rapporters, and Papal
  • Bull-despatchers lately compiled by Regis.
  • A perpetual Almanack for those that have the gout and the pox.
  • Manera sweepandi fornacellos per Mag. Eccium.
  • The Shable or Scimetar of Merchants.
  • The Pleasures of the Monachal Life.
  • The Hotchpot of Hypocrites.
  • The History of the Hobgoblins.
  • The Ragamuffinism of the pensionary maimed Soldiers.
  • The Gulling Fibs and Counterfeit shows of Commissaries.
  • The Litter of Treasurers.
  • The Juglingatorium of Sophisters.
  • Antipericatametanaparbeugedamphicribrationes Toordicantium.
  • The Periwinkle of Ballad-makers.
  • The Push-forward of the Alchemists.
  • The Niddy-noddy of the Satchel-loaded Seekers, by Friar Bindfastatis.
  • The Shackles of Religion.
  • The Racket of Swag-waggers.
  • The Leaning-stock of old Age.
  • The Muzzle of Nobility.
  • The Ape's Paternoster.
  • The Crickets and Hawk's-bells of Devotion.
  • The Pot of the Ember-weeks.
  • The Mortar of the Politic Life.
  • The Flap of the Hermits.
  • The Riding-hood or Monterg of the Penitentiaries.
  • The Trictrac of the Knocking Friars.
  • Blockheadodus, de vita et honestate bragadochiorum.
  • Lyrippii Sorbonici Moralisationes, per M. Lupoldum.
  • The Carrier-horse-bells of Travellers.
  • The Bibbings of the tippling Bishops.
  • Dolloporediones Doctorum Coloniensium adversus Reuclin.
  • The Cymbals of Ladies.
  • The Dunger's Martingale.
  • Whirlingfriskorum Chasemarkerorum per Fratrem Crackwoodloguetis.
  • The Clouted Patches of a Stout Heart.
  • The Mummery of the Racket-keeping Robin-goodfellows.
  • Gerson, de auferibilitate Papae ab Ecclesia.
  • The Catalogue of the Nominated and Graduated Persons.
  • Jo. Dytebrodii, terribilitate excommunicationis libellus acephalos.
  • Ingeniositas invocandi diabolos et diabolas, per M. Guingolphum.
  • The Hotchpotch or Gallimaufry of the perpetually begging Friars.
  • The Morris-dance of the Heretics.
  • The Whinings of Cajetan.
  • Muddisnout Doctoris Cherubici, de origine Roughfootedarum, et
  • Wryneckedorum ritibus, libri septem.
  • Sixty-nine fat Breviaries.
  • The Nightmare of the five Orders of Beggars.
  • The Skinnery of the new Start-ups extracted out of the fallow-butt,
  • incornifistibulated and plodded upon in the angelic sum.
  • The Raver and idle Talker in cases of Conscience.
  • The Fat Belly of the Presidents.
  • The Baffling Flouter of the Abbots.
  • Sutoris adversus eum qui vocaverat eum Slabsauceatorem, et quod
  • Slabsauceatores non sunt damnati ab Ecclesia.
  • Cacatorium medicorum.
  • The Chimney-sweeper of Astrology.
  • Campi clysteriorum per paragraph C.
  • The Bumsquibcracker of Apothecaries.
  • The Kissbreech of Chirurgery.
  • Justinianus de Whiteleperotis tollendis.
  • Antidotarium animae.
  • Merlinus Coccaius, de patria diabolorum.
  • The Practice of Iniquity, by Cleuraunes Sadden.
  • The Mirror of Baseness, by Radnecu Waldenses.
  • The Engrained Rogue, by Dwarsencas Eldenu.
  • The Merciless Cormorant, by Hoxinidno the Jew.
  • Of which library some books are already printed, and the rest are now at th_ress in this noble city of Tubingen.