Chapter 6 How Pantagruel met with a Limousin, who too affectedly di_ounterfeit the French language
Upon a certain day, I know not when, Pantagruel walking after supper with som_f his fellow-students without that gate of the city through which we enter o_he road to Paris, encountered with a young spruce-like scholar that wa_oming upon the same very way, and, after they had saluted one another, aske_im thus, My friend, from whence comest thou now? The scholar answered him,
From the alme, inclyte, and celebrate academy, which is vocitated Lutetia.
What is the meaning of this? said Pantagruel to one of his men. It is,
answered he, from Paris. Thou comest from Paris then, said Pantagruel; and ho_o you spend your time there, you my masters the students of Paris? Th_cholar answered, We transfretate the Sequan at the dilucul and crepuscul; w_eambulate by the compites and quadrives of the urb; we despumate the Latia_erbocination; and, like verisimilary amorabons, we captat the benevolence o_he omnijugal, omniform and omnigenal feminine sex. Upon certain diecules w_nvisat the lupanares, and in a venerian ecstasy inculcate our veretres int_he penitissime recesses of the pudends of these amicabilissim meretricules.
Then do we cauponisate in the meritory taberns of the Pineapple, the Castle,
the Magdalene, and the Mule, goodly vervecine spatules perforaminated wit_etrocile. And if by fortune there be rarity or penury of pecune in ou_arsupies, and that they be exhausted of ferruginean metal, for the shot w_imit our codices and oppignerat our vestments, whilst we prestolate th_oming of the tabellaries from the Penates and patriotic Lares. To whic_antagruel answered, What devilish language is this? By the Lord, I think tho_rt some kind of heretick. My lord, no, said the scholar; for libentissimally,
as soon as it illucesceth any minutule slice of the day, I demigrate into on_f these so well architected minsters, and there, irrorating myself with fai_ustral water, I mumble off little parcels of some missic precation of ou_acrificuls, and, submurmurating my horary precules, I elevate and absterge m_nime from its nocturnal inquinations. I revere the Olympicols. I latriall_enere the supernal Astripotent. I dilige and redame my proxims. I observe th_ecalogical precepts, and, according to the facultatule of my vires, I do no_iscede from them one late unguicule. Nevertheless, it is veriform, tha_ecause Mammona doth not supergurgitate anything in my loculs, that I a_omewhat rare and lent to supererogate the elemosynes to those egents tha_ostially queritate their stipe.
Prut, tut, said Pantagruel, what doth this fool mean to say? I think he i_pon the forging of some diabolical tongue, and that enchanter-like he woul_harm us. To whom one of his men said, Without doubt, sir, this fellow woul_ounterfeit the language of the Parisians, but he doth only flay the Latin,
imagining by so doing that he doth highly Pindarize it in most eloquent terms,
and strongly conceiteth himself to be therefore a great orator in the French,
because he disdaineth the common manner of speaking. To which Pantagruel said,
Is it true? The scholar answered, My worshipful lord, my genie is not apt nat_o that which this flagitious nebulon saith, to excoriate the cut(ic)ule o_ur vernacular Gallic, but vice-versally I gnave opere, and by veles and rame_nite to locupletate it with the Latinicome redundance. By G—, sai_antagruel, I will teach you to speak. But first come hither, and tell m_hence thou art. To this the scholar answered, The primeval origin of my ave_nd ataves was indigenary of the Lemovic regions, where requiesceth the corpo_f the hagiotat St. Martial. I understand thee very well, said Pantagruel.
When all comes to all, thou art a Limousin, and thou wilt here by thy affecte_peech counterfeit the Parisians. Well now, come hither, I must show thee _ew trick, and handsomely give thee the combfeat. With this he took him by th_hroat, saying to him, Thou flayest the Latin; by St. John, I will make the_lay the fox, for I will now flay thee alive. Then began the poor Limousin t_ry, Haw, gwid maaster! haw, Laord, my halp, and St. Marshaw! haw, I'_orried. Haw, my thropple, the bean of my cragg is bruck! Haw, for gauad'_eck lawt my lean, mawster; waw, waw, waw. Now, said Pantagruel, thou speakes_aturally, and so let him go, for the poor Limousin had totally bewrayed an_horoughly conshit his breeches, which were not deep and large enough, bu_ound straight cannioned gregs, having in the seat a piece like a keeling'_ail, and therefore in French called, de chausses a queue de merlus. Then,
said Pantagruel, St. Alipantin, what civet? Fie! to the devil with thi_urnip-eater, as he stinks! and so let him go. But this hug of Pantagruel'_as such a terror to him all the days of his life, and took such dee_mpression in his fancy, that very often, distracted with sudde_ffrightments, he would startle and say that Pantagruel held him by the neck.
Besides that, it procured him a continual drought and desire to drink, so tha_fter some few years he died of the death Roland, in plain English calle_hirst, a work of divine vengeance, showing us that which saith th_hilosopher and Aulus Gellius, that it becometh us to speak according to th_ommon language; and that we should, as said Octavian Augustus, strive to shu_ll strange and unknown terms with as much heedfulness and circumspection a_ilots of ships use to avoid the rocks and banks in the sea.