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Chapter 6 How Pantagruel met with a Limousin, who too affectedly di_ounterfeit the French language

  • Upon a certain day, I know not when, Pantagruel walking after supper with som_f his fellow-students without that gate of the city through which we enter o_he road to Paris, encountered with a young spruce-like scholar that wa_oming upon the same very way, and, after they had saluted one another, aske_im thus, My friend, from whence comest thou now? The scholar answered him,
  • From the alme, inclyte, and celebrate academy, which is vocitated Lutetia.
  • What is the meaning of this? said Pantagruel to one of his men. It is,
  • answered he, from Paris. Thou comest from Paris then, said Pantagruel; and ho_o you spend your time there, you my masters the students of Paris? Th_cholar answered, We transfretate the Sequan at the dilucul and crepuscul; w_eambulate by the compites and quadrives of the urb; we despumate the Latia_erbocination; and, like verisimilary amorabons, we captat the benevolence o_he omnijugal, omniform and omnigenal feminine sex. Upon certain diecules w_nvisat the lupanares, and in a venerian ecstasy inculcate our veretres int_he penitissime recesses of the pudends of these amicabilissim meretricules.
  • Then do we cauponisate in the meritory taberns of the Pineapple, the Castle,
  • the Magdalene, and the Mule, goodly vervecine spatules perforaminated wit_etrocile. And if by fortune there be rarity or penury of pecune in ou_arsupies, and that they be exhausted of ferruginean metal, for the shot w_imit our codices and oppignerat our vestments, whilst we prestolate th_oming of the tabellaries from the Penates and patriotic Lares. To whic_antagruel answered, What devilish language is this? By the Lord, I think tho_rt some kind of heretick. My lord, no, said the scholar; for libentissimally,
  • as soon as it illucesceth any minutule slice of the day, I demigrate into on_f these so well architected minsters, and there, irrorating myself with fai_ustral water, I mumble off little parcels of some missic precation of ou_acrificuls, and, submurmurating my horary precules, I elevate and absterge m_nime from its nocturnal inquinations. I revere the Olympicols. I latriall_enere the supernal Astripotent. I dilige and redame my proxims. I observe th_ecalogical precepts, and, according to the facultatule of my vires, I do no_iscede from them one late unguicule. Nevertheless, it is veriform, tha_ecause Mammona doth not supergurgitate anything in my loculs, that I a_omewhat rare and lent to supererogate the elemosynes to those egents tha_ostially queritate their stipe.
  • Prut, tut, said Pantagruel, what doth this fool mean to say? I think he i_pon the forging of some diabolical tongue, and that enchanter-like he woul_harm us. To whom one of his men said, Without doubt, sir, this fellow woul_ounterfeit the language of the Parisians, but he doth only flay the Latin,
  • imagining by so doing that he doth highly Pindarize it in most eloquent terms,
  • and strongly conceiteth himself to be therefore a great orator in the French,
  • because he disdaineth the common manner of speaking. To which Pantagruel said,
  • Is it true? The scholar answered, My worshipful lord, my genie is not apt nat_o that which this flagitious nebulon saith, to excoriate the cut(ic)ule o_ur vernacular Gallic, but vice-versally I gnave opere, and by veles and rame_nite to locupletate it with the Latinicome redundance. By G—, sai_antagruel, I will teach you to speak. But first come hither, and tell m_hence thou art. To this the scholar answered, The primeval origin of my ave_nd ataves was indigenary of the Lemovic regions, where requiesceth the corpo_f the hagiotat St. Martial. I understand thee very well, said Pantagruel.
  • When all comes to all, thou art a Limousin, and thou wilt here by thy affecte_peech counterfeit the Parisians. Well now, come hither, I must show thee _ew trick, and handsomely give thee the combfeat. With this he took him by th_hroat, saying to him, Thou flayest the Latin; by St. John, I will make the_lay the fox, for I will now flay thee alive. Then began the poor Limousin t_ry, Haw, gwid maaster! haw, Laord, my halp, and St. Marshaw! haw, I'_orried. Haw, my thropple, the bean of my cragg is bruck! Haw, for gauad'_eck lawt my lean, mawster; waw, waw, waw. Now, said Pantagruel, thou speakes_aturally, and so let him go, for the poor Limousin had totally bewrayed an_horoughly conshit his breeches, which were not deep and large enough, bu_ound straight cannioned gregs, having in the seat a piece like a keeling'_ail, and therefore in French called, de chausses a queue de merlus. Then,
  • said Pantagruel, St. Alipantin, what civet? Fie! to the devil with thi_urnip-eater, as he stinks! and so let him go. But this hug of Pantagruel'_as such a terror to him all the days of his life, and took such dee_mpression in his fancy, that very often, distracted with sudde_ffrightments, he would startle and say that Pantagruel held him by the neck.
  • Besides that, it procured him a continual drought and desire to drink, so tha_fter some few years he died of the death Roland, in plain English calle_hirst, a work of divine vengeance, showing us that which saith th_hilosopher and Aulus Gellius, that it becometh us to speak according to th_ommon language; and that we should, as said Octavian Augustus, strive to shu_ll strange and unknown terms with as much heedfulness and circumspection a_ilots of ships use to avoid the rocks and banks in the sea.