I closed my laptop and put my face on the pillow. My head feels heavy for staring at the screen for a whole hour. Today I watch K-drama for the first time after Baba's death. It used to be one of my favorite hobbies but today it didn't appeal to me at all. I got bored after watching one episode and ended up burying my face into the pillow, which I usually do these days. Practically, there is nothing left in my life, I am just a robot who starts working every morning and switched off at night.
Going out, laughing, smiling, chatting, eating with someone, loving, or being loved by someone. Taking care of someone or being cared for. Such feelings have become foreign to me. The time I spent with Baba and Ami seems like a dream now, a sweet dream which disappeared as I opened my eyes. Recalling those pleasant days of past, I get a sudden urge of crying, but I have enough of weeping, and decided not to pity myself anymore. I just want to be thankful, for whatever time I got to spent with my parents. I cannot change what had happened and my tears won't bring them back. I have to live on with this bitter fact and need to force myself to move forward, trying to find my place in this world. With the hope that when we meet again in the afterlife I will not see a regrettable look on the faces of the people I love.
I got up from the bed and start cleaning the whole portion of mine, to divert my mind. I was completely exhausted by the time I got free and without wasting a minute I went for a shower. The next thing I planned was to go downstairs, make some tea, and help Auntie with dinner since the cook took an off today because of sickness.
I feel quite fresh and all charged after taking a warm bath but as I stepped outside of my room, I heard Ahmar's panicked shouts. I wasn't able to fathom what he was saying but I dashed over to his voice and on reaching Auntie's bedroom I found him holding her by shoulders while she was about to collapse. I quickly helped him to lay her on the bed.
"Ahmar, quickly grab her glucometer." Ahmar dashed out of the room and I began to remove her dupatta. She was pale and all sweaty like she will pass out at any moment.