Yesterday was one of the worst moments of my life, no one showed up to dinner and those two women knew that no one would yet they made anxious for a dinner they knew would never happen. Madame Faustina even told me that the lonliness I felt while I sat at the table is exactly how I would feel when I become Klyde's wife and it hurt me so much that I almost cried but I held back my tears until I got to my room and there I unleashed the well of tears I had stored in me.
What exactly is my purpose here, to be a slave even to the maids of this house? It was no doubt that a lot of women around the world probably hated me because they really believed that I abandoned my children and ran off with the Harold's money - but at least I couldn't hear the spite or hateful words these women say about me, these maids however chose to make sure I don't escape these cruel treatment. I thought I would be safe here but I was wrong because this is literally the lion's den.
The only good thing about last night was that Klyde did'nt come home, so I slept alone. Although, I doubt I would be so lucky today. I had already taken a bath, dressed in the clothes Victoria got for me and was waiting for breakfast while reading an awfully boring book about politics when I heard loud piles of laughter coming from outside my room. I had shut the door because I didn't want Victoria or Madame Faustina barging into my room - especially after what they did to me yesterday.
I saw the door knob move and I scoffed, I would only open the door if whatever Victoria had to say was important, if not Victoria can go back to the other maids and tell them that I shunned the fuck out of her. I sighed so that I would calm down because I was getting irritated at how easily they played me last night. I rubbed my lips together and smiled at how perfectly lush and full they looked in the mirror after I applied pink lipstick on it. At least Victoria knew a good lipstick when she sees one.
My mind suddenly drifted to something unexpected.I don't know why I thought about him but he just evaded my mind badly since I saw him last night I couldn't just get him out of my mind. Why did he treat me so harshly? I wouldn't have been so hurt if he hadn't looked at me at all, but he DID look at me and it wasn't some ordinary glance, it looked like he was mesmerized by my beauty, it even seemed like he couldn't take his eyes off of my lips. I unconciously touched my lips, wondering if Kade was still turned on just by looking at my lips like he used to. I couldn't help but wish that I loved Kade, if he had been the father of my children I would be happier.