Chapter 4

• Next day, as I woke up, I felt my head throbbing and my body feeling slightly dizzy. My feet wobbled and my hands felt stiff as if yesterday's storm had frozen me. It was a cold morning and the chamber I had occupied was at the end of the house. It had limited sunlight coming into it so my room always stayed cold.
• A growl came from my stomach informing me of the reason for my weakness. I gulped it down as I moved my rags and stood up from my futon.
• The door burst open and through it, came an angry looking third wife of the house. It has always been like this. After my father married her, she took me as a maid and not his husband's daughter.
• "Do you need a reminder every day?" She growled angrily, making me flinch at her words as she ordered, "Get up and do the chores!"
• I nodded and spoke in a low voice, "I-I was about to go to the kitchen." I put the futon in its place immediately even if I felt like stumbling down on the floor while she stood there until I was finished.
• She condemned, "How much time do you need to call off the burden?" She put her hands over her chest and with a disgust filled face she added, "and here you are sleeping all day. Do you even remember that we have a guest?"
• I hurried to the bathroom to freshen up. I left all the washing as I needed to make them meals. Without wasting time, I dashed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I didn't know what to make for our guest but I assumed I needed to make a feast.
• I stood there staring at the pots when footsteps came. I turned around hoping she would not shout again which she didn't.
• She stood by the door, glaring at me.
• "I-I am making breakfast. I don't know what to make." I said gulping as my heart hammered against my chest.
• "You don't need to." She answered and a gape formed in my mouth. Had I really heard what I heard?
• She threw a pile of clothes at me, "Wear this. Be sure to make your ugly face pretty." Then she left.
• I saw some fine traditional clothes laying on the ground. A blue kimono with pink floral print. My brows knitted together as they never once gave me one pretty cloth. All the clothes I had were from the daughters of the first lady and the rest of them were simple kimonos which were my dead mother's.Whenever my half-sister's clothes became old and raggy, they gave it to me. They never even gave me anything on my birthday. But then again, they didn't know when my birthday was and I was sure they didn't care a bit. And it was the first time they gave me something other than nasty and hurtful words.
• One question made my blood freeze. Why did she give me a fine cloth? I stared at the clothes for a while and it didn't sit right in my stomach.
• Preparing myself, I headed out for the main hall as the third lady had instructed. It seemed, both of them were making meals today which felt even more weird. It had always been my task to prepare foods while they served. I took the dishes and cleaned while they chatted with guests. But today it was exactly the opposite. I should have been happy but somehow my senses told me it was a warning.
• I didn't know what was happening.
• As I neared the hall, my heart took a speed. I nibbled at my kimono's long sleeves as my nervousness devoured my senses and finally I reached the hall.
• I saw everyone was present there. I greeted father and first lady then third lady as well. Then I noticed the young physician was there too. He was sitting before my father, in front of the ground table back facing me and his long black shiny hair cascaded down on his broad shoulders.
• Father nodded and told me to come sit beside him. I took my seat and looked at my father with a questioning gaze. I had a feeling something was not right. Father never asked me to wear a particular thing, especially a fine kimono and he never called me before for an introduction. He was looking really happy after seeing me which was more troubling. It was out of the question that he would ever feel happy after seeing me. He never treated me like he treated his official wife's daughters.
• I longed for his love, his care even I wanted him to look at me with adoration like he looked at my sisters but he never did. He had never acknowledged my presence and he acted like he wanted to avoid me like a plague.
• First lady had always called me illegitimate daughter and I was. Maybe he thought of me as one too.
• A thick silence fell over us and I looked around, finding their gazes on me.
• Father started, "Bianka, as I promised I will find you a great husband-" My heart beat increased as he continued, "-this young man agreed to take you as his wife."
• My breath caught in my throat and he added, "So today you will be going with him. I suggest you take your necessary things with you as he doesn't have time to stay, otherwise we could have celebrated this."
• "No need to celebrate," a thick and cold voice bloomed through the room. I tilted my head to the source and it was from the person beside me. His face was adorned with no emotions and the aura around him felt colder than the weather.
• I was expecting something was wrong but I hadn't expected to be married to an unknown person. I gulped down the unsettling feelings that nested in my belly.
• How can I marry someone whom I don't love?
• How can I marry a complete stranger?
• So many questions swirled in my mind and the fear flooded in every cell of my body.
• He was someone whose details were unknown and I had a doubt father had enough knowledge of him. How can he agree to let me go with a complete stranger?
• I don't even know his name.
• My other sisters' husbands were at least known persons. I could get that he wanted to release a burden like me but why like this? The brief counters that I had with the person was not enough to know him and from his way of talking, he felt like an emotionless, cold hearted person. I could feel my body tense and the changing pattern in my breathing. It became hard to breathe and tears almost threatened to come out.
• Am I really that unimportant to my father?
• Yes, the answer came without any interruption.
• I was illegitimate after all. I knew I could not run away from this. Now it was my fate. So I began to pack my necessary belongings. As I didn't have many clothes or ornaments I had only one piece of luggage. It would not be difficult for me to carry my luggage all the way.
• After breakfast we bid farewell to father and both of the ladies. All the while, the man stood at a distance. Then he took my luggage when we departed from there. I told him, "I can carry it if you have trouble."
• "No need. It doesn't have much weight." Then his sharp eyes fell on my bag and he asked, "Did you bring your clothes or not? You didn't plan to put on my clothes. Did you?"
• His blunt question made my blood run to my cheeks. It was really rude to assume beforehand without knowing.
• I stuttered as I shook my head, "N-no, I did get my clothes. I won't wear your clothes."
• His raven eyes caught my gaze and sweat formed on my forehead. It was the first time I had looked into his eyes. It was dangerous and daunting as if a wild animal was still asleep until it woke up.
• Then we began our journey. I had no idea where he lived. I only knew he was from another state.
• But could I stay with this man? He was rude and cold and probably, a self centered person. I could only hope that he wouldn't beat me or in his case, kill me. Because in some way I found him scary. He might be the person who could get angry really fast so I had to be very careful if I wanted to live.