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Chapter 12 Finally Born - Part ll

  • As I rub my painfully sore body with soap, I wince in pain. My body is covered with purple blotches, particularly on my chest. He must have paid special attention to my bosoms. I feel a rush of heat to my face simply thinking about someone putting their lips and tongue on my breasts. I don't even remember how that might have felt. And that thought alone is enough to dampen my spirits. I wanted my first time to be special, with my moon-blessed. I wished to feel his lips against mine, how his hand would roam around my body, how he would whisper sweet nothings in my ear while he would make love to me. I wished to feel everything. But here I was, rubbing the scent of some male off my body, wondering how it must have felt. I gave myself over to a male whom I might never see again in order to simply quench the flame of some filthy desire. It would be preferable though. It would be better if I never saw that male again. And I'm glad I was drunk enough to not even remember his face.
  • Nausea, a rising sensation that begins as soon as I wake up and continues to rise throughout the day. It is uncontrollable, and I frequently opt to lie down far away from the pack's ruckus in the comforts of my own house. My eyes and hearing have gotten so sensitive that any sound beyond a certain level causes me a throbbing headache, so I've been keeping to myself. Curtains closed; door shut. My body is burning up, yet I don't have a fever; my flesh is simply boiling. Since I can't retain foods in my stomach for long, my mother made sure to convert my diet to fluids.
  • My body freezes and I shiver constantly during the night, so my mother has to remain with me at night to watch over me and make sure I don't freeze to death. I have been overcome with panic since, despite the fact that I've been terribly ill in the past, this is the first time that no medicine from the healer has worked to even remotely alleviate my misery. And to top that off, there is this heavy feeling that has been slowly setting inside me. It seems like a heavy burden that crushes me at times, yet it also somewhat calms my insides. With a faint click, my brother's scent pours, permeating the air. His footsteps are faint and his breathing is light; he doesn't want to wake me and tries to be as quiet as possible. He peers over the blankets to see if I'm asleep since I'm concealed behind the covers with only my eyes showing.
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