Chapter 1 Prologue

• Prologue
• In a world full of lies, I lived in this world. Sometimes, I wish I had never lived in this world.
• I'm only experiencing pain and sadness, it's tiring. I told myself that I would find a man who would love me completely and not cheat on me. I promised myself then that I would not be like my mother who became a fixture because I was the result of the sin they committed.
• I was deprived of my complete family and even Mama who gave birth to me in this world did not want me.
• I thought I couldn't be like him because I was different and educated. But the truth slapped me because what I was avoiding happening to me has happened. I didn't think I was a hooker either.
• "You animal!" I shouted while pushing his chest.
• My chest tightened when I found out. It's like I've been stabbed because of the pain. I was crying in front of him as I kept pushing him away from me.
• His lips parted and he tried to stop me from pushing him. "Tori, Let me explain—"
• "You made me a fixture!" I interrupted what he said while still crying.
• I took a step back just as he was about to hold my hand. His expression softened at what I did. We are in a condo unit, where we always meet. Where we have many happy memories. I trusted him and believed his every word.
• I agreed to keep our relationship a secret because he didn't want me to be harmed by his business enemies. I was too foolish to believe on his lies. He hid me because I was attached.
• I put my palms on my face while my tears continued to fall. I do not accept that I am a fixture. I can't accept that my fate is the same.
• "T-Tori." His eyes were red as he called my name.
• "I..."
• I violently removed my palm from my face and looked at him while crying.
• "Y-You made me a fixture!" I said shakily as I pointed to myself. "I hate myself especially because.."
• I can't say that word because of hatred. Steven shook his head at me and tried to come closer. His eyes are very tired and I think he lacks sleep. He took a quick step towards me so I didn't get away immediately and only then did I realize that his hand was behind me.
• I struggled in his grip especially as he pulled my body closer to him. I pushed him hard and quickly turned away. My heart ached because of what I did. I could only hear my cry and his deep breathing in the whole room.
• "Tori, I don't love her!" His deep voice echoed throughout the room.
• To this day I still don't stop crying especially since he blocks me at the door, preventing me from leaving.
• "Please hear me out!"
• I shook my head while avoiding his caress on my cheek. I can't accept this relationship. Why now? Why did I find out now? Am I that stupid? Am I that crazy about him to not imagine what could possibly happen?
• I tearfully looked up at him. I saw her tears flow as her eyes looked at me sadly. My chest got tighter.
• "S-Steven, L-Let's end this."
• A moment of silence enveloped us both when I said that. I saw his expression change. I swallowed and then looked away.
• "Baby..."
• My hair stood up and I gasped. Hearing this, the heart beat faster. He called me "baby", our endearment. If it used to be thrilling, now it's disgusting to hear.
• I closed my eyes when he gently caressed my wet cheek. "Let's fix this, hmm? I'm sorry that I lied to you. I'll fix it. We were just married through papers. We didn't marry on church. I will fix this, hmm? I already filed an annulment—"
• I pushed him away from me because of what I heard. I could clearly see the tension in his jaw because of what I did. My right palm flew automatically to his left cheek. His face tilted because of my slap. Tears just started to fall on me.
• "Don't you realize that our relationship is wrong?" I shouted, pushing him away again. He didn't move from his position and just let me push him.
• "You know that, eh.." My voice broke.
• "You know what I don't want! You know very well! You know everything I don't want and want, Steven! You think I'll change my mind about what you're going to do?"
• I pushed him again but stopped when he violently grabbed both of my arms and held them tightly. I struggled in his grip.
• "Baby..."
• "No!" I shouted. "You can't change my mind! I hate myself!"
• "I love you..." he said softly and lifted my hand towards him and kissed it. "I love you..."
• "You fooled me!" I insisted pulling my hand. "While we were together, you were married to someone else! Don't you have a conscience? You made a fool of me, Steven! I agreed to our secret relationship even though I didn't want to!"
• He was stunned by what I said and loosened his hold on me. Maybe he realized I was right.
• "Don't you even think about it?" I asked him. "While you're here with me, your wife might be waiting for you, Steven! So I don't want it anymore. I don't want it anymore! It's wrong!"
• I hardly recognize my own voice. Steven didn't move from his position and just stared at me. As he stared at me, tears were falling from his eyes. I love him but I also think about myself, my well-being.
• When he didn't speak, I gently pushed him and I was surprised when he almost fell because of my push. My heart ached especially when he bowed. I just bit my bottom lip and ran out of his condo.
• People were staring at me as I ran towards the elevator in tears. To this day, my brain still can't process that he has a wife. How could he bear to hide that? I didn't know for a year. I was also a fool with him for a year. If only I hadn't seen it as I was running towards the elevator in tears.
• To this day, my brain still cannot process that he is married. How could he bear to hide that? I didn't know for a year. I was also a fool with him for a year.
• If I hadn't seen Steven's wife's message on her cell phone, I might not have known everything. Maybe we still continued the secret relationship until now which is a sin.
• When I got out of the building, I hurriedly ran to the waiting area and quickly stopped the oncoming bus. When it stopped, I immediately went inside.
• The passengers were looking at me. I sat at the last one and leaned against the window looking out into the void. I travel alone, away from him.