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Chapter 107 A Horrible But True Story

  • I left the room with the lawyer, leaving a completely confused and devastated Andrew inside. It no longer mattered the reason for the deal when he proposed, much less what he thought the moment he found out I was pregnant.
  • He was never there when I needed him. And now it was too late.
  • Yeah, he'd have to make love to me when I needed to, if I ever got to be touched by anyone again. Although pregnancy gave me sexual urges, I feared being touched and going back to what happened to Alexander. It was strange, as I didn't remember anything that actually happened. Only marks left on my body. Yet I found myself often thinking about how he did it. I tried to erase the photos from my phone, but it felt like they needed to stay there, to remind me of everything I went through and I still resisted. Would the fact that I love Andrew make me let him touch me and take pleasure in it? Or would I never get to have sex again, thinking Alexander could have penetrated me? What if he had come at some point? But if he didn't get hard, then he didn't come. God... Why did this never get out of my head? What did he feel while his mouth was on my skin: hate, pleasure, did he think of my mother? Was I sleeping or with my eyes closed but unable to open and unaware of what he was doing? Why did he tie me up? With what intention? No escape or fear that I might regain consciousness at any moment? Did I feel the times he bit me? Did I choke when he squeezed my neck, which brought each finger of his to sensitive skin? What made a man give so many hickeys to a completely doped woman's body? And the bites? I never imagined being bitten by someone. Those were the marks that took the longest to heal. If I closed my eyes, I could feel his teeth on my skin, wanting to make me hurt… So the tears couldn't be controlled.
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