"Synn, make sure to be back in an hour, okay? Or head straight to the dressing room where we'll transfer," I heard our manager stated which I just returned with a cheeky smile.
"Okay, manager, I love you!" I exclaimed, the natural sweetness in my voice, as what they always say, coming out making her laugh a little.
"I swear to God if you aren't so adorable I won't even allow you to go out. You are about to perform in less than two hours," she shook her head as she turned her attention back to my other members who are all sitting still while they get their face dolled up.
"Hey, Synncinati, don't go around making some trouble, okay?" I heard Snow screaming which I responded with a loud giggle before finally going out of the room.
With a black cap and face mask, I swiftly strode around the vicinity trying to hide myself and blend in with the staff who usually go around the area. It's common for a staff of every company to also wear a mask as long as you're wearing an id for the distinction which I am.
Some of our staffs let me borrow their id as I usually do this before awards. I roam around the area and watch people as they do their kinds of stuff.
It's not something I just do for fun but it kinda helps me calm down. I got too much energy inside me like it's about to burst, I need something to keep everything intact. Honestly, it was Aki who suggested that I do after I accidentally broke one of the make up kit inside our dressing room as I try to calm my nerves. Now, it becomes a habit.
Even my boss told me it's fine as long ad I make sure to be safe.
At first, I just roam around the place wasting a little time as I try to get fresh air. Until I started paying attention to my surroundings and even mingle with a few people too.
I watch our fans and even the fans of other stars. I listen to their cute and adorable conversations and even found myself watching when some gets into a little fight.
As much as I wanted to stop them, to tell them how thankful we are that they support us, we'll all get into a lot of trouble if I reveal myself.
Of course, there were moments when a fan somehow recognizes me but I make sure not to linger too much until fact hit them straight to the face.
I've seen a lot of secrets too, some that I will make sure to keep to myself. My fingers probably weren't enough if I'd to count the number I saw idols secretly meeting.
If I open my mouth or it gets slipped, I'd pretty much ruin a lot of idol's career.
But I won't. It's their life. They date secretly because they will be condemned and judged by the harsh society. And who am I to do that to them?
It's not rare that some fans turn their backs on their idols once they date. And I hate that. As a member of ROY4L, a four-member girl group, living a comfortable life wasn't easy.
Why can't one love without being restricted? But I chose this. I chose this dream so I have to deal with it. Things won't be different just because I am starting to act like a whiny bitch. What I should be, is a grateful idol who's lucky to find some people to love me even with my imperfections.
Those thoughts are what I always put in mind, that even though there are things that are painful, that is hurting, that I don't want to see, I shut my mouth - we shut our mouths.
There are moments when I felt apologetic not only to my members but to other idols as well when they get bashed because of me. And I know they feel the same too.
I and the girls had talked about it. Sometimes, you can't help but feel hurt when you read mean comments directed to your members and that's because the said fan loves you. And they feel the same if it's their fan and I get to be the receiving end of the hate.
It hurts that sometimes, we feel awkward with each other because of it. We love each other, treat everyone as a sister. But we also love our fans and we're thankful. Besides, not all fans are like that. And almost every fandom has this problem.
Ot1 is fine but I hope nobody gets hurt at the expense of loving only one person. I just wish a day will come that nobody will ever get hurt.
But that's impossible, isn't it?
Turning into a corner, I noticed that there are too many people in the hallway and a few reporters too. Without hesitating, I pushed the door towards the fire exit.
It wasn't two steps when I heard the sound of two people talking.
"Didn't I tell you not to talk with him?" I heard the voice of a guy.
I stopped from my tracks, my body stiffened a little. The guy's voice sounded harsh and I wasn't sure if I like it.
His voice sounded familiar though...
"Are you really gonna ignore everything I tell you? ," I heard him again and I didn't know if it was curiosity that whispered within me but I started walking once again, my steps lighter, careful enough not to make any sound.
"Gold, we've talked about this,"
I stopped once again when I heard the girl talk.
No doubt, it was her.
And did she say Gold? Like Gold from PERSONA? If he's who I think he is, he's one famous senior in the industry. He's so famous almost everyone alive probably knows his name. They won multiple awards from prestigious awarding bodies, had broken multiple world records and has like, half of the population of the whole world as their fans. He's untoucheable.
"And we aren't finished talking too. I told you not to talk to him and you will do that," his voice was stern it's actually scary.
But what she said next is even scarier. I'm not sure if I should feel bad for Gold or what.
"I won't stop talking to him just because you told me to. I'm over you and we're over so stop calling me out like this. You're wasting my time," she said and I gulped when I heard the sound of her heels fading as she marched her way out.
Once the door closed, I was startled when I heard the sound of the door getting hit.
I bit my lower lip. That must have hurt. Looking at the situation, it looks like they just broke up, or maybe they just had a fight.
But why does it feel like he was begging rather than being angry?
Synn, it's not your place to be here. Get out.
Just as I was about to turn, I miscalculated my step causing me to be outbalanced, a loud yelp escaping on my lips. Thank God I was able to take a hold of the hand rails.
A relieved sigh escaped my lips, only to be replaced by fear when I heard his voice.
I heard Gold's voice and before I can even hide, he was quick enough to jump double steps on the stairs until I was face to face with him.
My eyes widened, his face looking so serious.
He looked so pissed off, he's not even wearing a mask.
He was looking at me intently, his stares too strong I feel like I'm about to get burn.
Slowly, he moved forward, his hand reaching for my mask.
"Wow, the rookie had been snooping around," he snickered and I felt my cheeks burned red in embarrassment.
"I didn't see anything sunbae," I whispered, my voice cracking a little, in fear of what he would do.
"Really?" The smirk in his face tells me he believes otherwise.
He moved forward making me step back in instict. And we did that until my back was leaning on the wall, his hand now pressed on my side making it hard for me to escape.
"What is Synncinati doing here in disguise? Are you out to meet someone too?" he whispered, his face too close to my liking, it's starting to scare me too.
"I-ahmmm," I gulped. He was looking at me intently, I feel my knees getting weak for a moment.
"I was just looking around," I whisoered, avoiding his gaze.
He was silent for a moment, until I heard him sigh.
"You didn't see me here. You didn't heard anything. One word, lady. Just one word and you wouldn't like what I'll do to you..." the smug look on his face tells me he's not joking.
My eyes caught how his eyes landed on my lips. For a moment, I thought I was a hallucinating but he sure looked a little distracted before he turned his back on me.
What was that?
He was already walking down the stairs when I noticed his hand, a bruise visible.
I didn't know why but I felt bad for him. It was obvious that he's into the girl more than the girl was into him. But who am I to judge?
Before I can even stop myself, I called his name and he stopped.
He was looking at me, curious at why I called him and I don't know if I should regret it or not.
"Your hand sir, make sure to have it checked. Your fans will definitely notice," I told him and he looked at his hands for a moment, his eyes not showing any emotion.
He shrugged his shoulder and I watch as he turned his back once again, not even saying anything.
Once he was out of sight, a long sigh escaped my lips, my hands on my chest as I feel the rapid beating inside it.
That was some rendezvous, Synncinati.
Gold, it wasn't noticeable but when he was staring at me, I saw the sad look in his eyes.
He must have really like her.
Stop thinking about it.
"Let's get back to work," I whispered to myself. Slowly, I made my way out of the fire exit to get back to our dressing room. I had too much of my escapade, I feel like I won't be doing this again for the time being.
I wasn't sure I'm looking forward to seeing him anytime soon too.