Chapter 4

• ‘Seyah, I’m going now, I knocked your door but I think you were sleeping so I wrote this. I made dinner for you. Eat and sleep early, don’t wait for me because I’ll be late tonight.’
• Okay......... I didn’t have anything to say but I didn’t want to eat too. So I went to my room and washed my sweaty body because I ran to see him. I sighed as I remembered the kiss Eliza gave him. I knew that bitch would definitely kiss Seth so that’s why I kissed him before, I didn’t want Eliza to be his first kiss but what if they sleep tonight? Seth said that he’ll be late tonight. NO.. I don’t want him to sleep with her. I couldn’t control my tears because of the fear and the hurt I’m feeling right now.. I came out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed. I don’t care about time but I’m gonna wait till he comes home. I stayed in my room and I was scared because I was the only one in this big house. I looked at the time and it’s 9.00 p.m only three hours left but I’m gonna wait for him. I didn’t eat and I didn’t even go downstairs. I just waited for him.
• It felt like a hundred years and sometimes it felt like time had stopped. I kept looking at the clock and now it’s 12.00 a.m, it’s midnight but he’s not home yet. Is he with Eliza? Are they having sex? My mind was screaming with those questions. Again my eyes filled with tears because it hurts so much. I blamed myself for telling him my feelings. If I didn’t tell him, he would never agree with Eliza. I again looked at the clock and it’s 2.00 a.m. I’m just waiting for him and it’s been 8 hours but he’s not home yet. I couldn’t help but cry. I was scared to stay alone in this house and also I was scared to lose him... why did this happen to me? Why?
• After so many hours I heard the door opening sound, I knew he’s finally back. It was already 3.30 a.m, I wiped my tears and laid on the bed. I really didn’t want to see him. He did this on purpose because he knew that I loved him so much and I’ll definitely wait for him. I wiped my tears but still they came out of my eyes. I don’t care anymore so he came back and I’m gonna sleep now so I closed my eyes to sleep but I heard a knock against my door.
• “Seyah, didn’t you have dinner? I made it for you.” I heard Seth’s broken voice. I really felt sad because of the way he spoke but he didn’t feel sad for me and that’s why he didn’t come early. He knew that I’m scared at night but yet he stayed out. I covered my face with my bedsheet and didn’t answer him.
• “Seyah, I know you’re not sleeping. Just answer me.......why didn’t you eat?” I didn’t eat because I couldn’t eat without you but you fucking stayed out all night Seth. I wanted to scream and hit him but I forced myself to be calm.
• “Alright then, good night.” Seth spoke again. He was hurt. I could feel it from his voice but I was hurt too because I saw him smiling at Eliza and I saw how she kissed his cheek. My eyes again filled with tears..... I shouldn’t cry because he’s my brother and I shouldn’t be like this but my heart, my feelings, everything just betrayed me and loved my own brother.
• I woke up in the morning and my head was aching because I slept too late last night. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and bathed. After I finished I changed into clothes to go to school. But I remembered...Urgh...Damn today is Saturday... I forgot. I again took off my clothes and wore something comfortable and went downstairs. I saw aunty Martha has come back and she has prepared breakfast.
• “Good morning young lady” Aunty Martha was a gentle woman, I really liked the way she smiled.
• “Good morning aunty Martha. How’s your vacation?” I asked as I sat down.
• “Good.. you want to go with me next time?” My eyes lit up as she said that I quickly nodded at her.
• “Yes, I want.” I knew her village was really beautiful and there were so many waterfalls and forests so I really wanted to go.
• “Okay... oh good morning young master.” Aunty Martha said as Seth came and sat down. I remembered the pain yesterday and the way Seth stayed with Eliza so I actually didn’t want to see him so I lowered my head and started to eat.
• “Good morning aunty Martha.” I heard Seth say and Aunt Martha excused herself and went to the kitchen. I didn’t look at Seth but I could feel that he was looking at me but no one spoke suddenly. My phone rang, I took it out from my pocket and looked at the number but it was unknown.
• “Hello” I answered the call and spoke.
• “Hey Seyah, it’s me Justin” Justin ? The boy who asked me to be his girlfriend a few weeks ago?
• “Hey what’s up?” I asked with a smile if it was because he was a really nice guy.
• “Seyah I saw your brother and Eliza yesterday. I think they went to watch the new movie but you weren’t there so I’m asking can we go to watch it tonight? It’s okay if you watched it before?” Yeah my brother was there but not with me. I wanted to cry because I remembered again the way he smiled at Eliza. Is this guy asking me to go out and watch it with him? Yeah why not? Seth went with Eliza, then why can’t I just go with Justin and I should also try to spend time with a boy.
• “Sure, I’ll come. At what time do you want me to come?” I asked
• “Mm. 5.30 in the evening?” Justin asked as I heard his smile through the phone.
• “Okay.. 5.30 in the evening. See you” With that I hung up the call. Then I felt Seth’s gaze on me but I continued eating.
• “Who called you?” Seth suddenly spoke. I actually didn’t want to answer him but I’m not like that soo I replied
• “Justin.” I didn’t look at Seth’s face because I didn’t want to see him. Cruel man.
• “You’re going out with him?” Seth’s voice was somewhat broken but I’m sure that he won’t care even if I stayed out all night.
• “Yeah” I nodded at him.
• “No..you shouldn’t stay out after 4.00 in the evening” Suddenly Seth spoke and his voice was filled with something weird. Shouldn’t I stay out? But why?
• “It’s okay I’ll come home after I’m done with the movie.” I said as I finished my breakfast.
• “Movie? Seyah, I told you that I’m going with you to watch that movie today.” Why is he pretending in front of me? Yeah, I’m sure he doesn’t know that I saw him with Eliza.
• “Seth, I don’t think that you’re very interested in beauty and beast to watch it twice. Anyways, isn't it a Disney movie? As I remembered, you don’t like to watch those princess’ movies.” I looked at him. His eyes turned red as I said that but he didn’t know how much it hurt me to accept the fact that he watched my favorite movie with that bitchy Eliza. I was the one who asked him to go with me first but he chose Eliza.
• “Seyah....I.” Seth tried to talk but I didn’t let him.
• “It’s okay Seth. I don’t mind.” With that I got up to leave but Seth also got up and came to my side.
• “Don’t go with him, I’ll take you there.” Seth told me as he looked down at me. I would definitely be happy if he said that before he watched the movie with Eliza but he really went with her.
• “There’s no need Seth. I don’t want to go with someone who has watched it before.” My heart hurts and I wanted to cry but I smiled at him.