Chapter 5

• I lifted my head and looked at my mate who was standing next to me. I knew he was annoyed. I could see it in his every part. So I knew I had to do something drastic. Stepping closer to him, I fought my disgust as I brushed my body on his. I hoped he wouldn't be able to sense my real feelings through the bond and just believe my current actions. Forget about my try to escape.
• I gulped at his enormous figure that covered mine. I knew what I was doing was risky, but maybe there was some use of him. I could let him remain by my side, at least until I returned to my pack.
• Wolf relaxed slightly and just to prove him my point, I flirtatiously nipped at his fur. He jerked by my gesture and I was pretty sure it was out of surprise. If I could, I would've raised my brows. Why would he be surprised? Did he have any rational train of thought?
• I breathed out through my nose, staring at his huge figure and waiting for something. Some kind of reaction. Approval. Mate lowered his head, keeping his eyes on me. Now what? I wasn't good at communicating through my werewolf body. I had spent most of my life hiding among humans in a city. Just a city thug. Until the rogues found me and I joined them. But even with them, I had nowhere to shift and run free as a werewolf.
• So I did the next best thing. I shifted back to my human form. I stood on my knees, hiding my chest with my arms.
• “Mate...” I ventured, trying to look submissive. “I'm sorry I ran. I was afraid. And I'm still not well.” I dragged my knee forward, wincing at the freezing snow. I hoped my naked human body wouldn't be as tempting as my werewolf one. He wasn't human, after all. Not anymore.
• Slowly, I reached him and made sure to keep my eyes on him at all moments. Our gazes were locked, and for a split second, I wondered how he would've looked like a human. Judging by his fur, he must've either had light brown or blond hair and his eyes... well, they had been this fascinating amber color.
• When I reached him, I stared up at his eyes for a long moment and then lifted my arms, snaking them around his chest. It was a strain for me, because in this position, my head didn't even reach his chest. I could pass under his body without a problem and still not touch his ribs or stomach. My fingers weaved through his thick fur and I leaned my head on his right leg. His whole body was like a furnace. So hot. And I was cold. I felt so freezing cold.
• If Xavier saw me now, would he consider this cheating? My heart ached at this thought and I squeezed my lips. It didn't matter anymore. He was probably dead. I had lost him.
• Mate growled and sat on his haunches, bending his huge body to bury his head in my shoulder. This was calming him down. For once, I was ready to thank the damn mate bond.
• “Mate...” I murmured weakly. I was good at lying and I was going to use it with him all the time. “I'm c-cold,” I stuttered and let go, putting my arms around my breasts.
• Wolf huffed and licked my cheek, starting from my jaw. I shivered. I could use a dozen baths or something. He stood on his feet and moved behind me. I whirled around with wide eyes, but when I noticed where he was going, my thundering heart relaxed. He grabbed my bag in his mouth and calmly dropped it at my knees.
• I looked at it and brushed the blood from my chin and mouth. My back was still pounding in pain even if I had changed to a human. They never attacked just to scare someone off.
• “I'd love to have a bath.” I chuckled and wiped my palm in the snow.
• Mate whined softly. I glanced at him and felt uncomfortable by his eyes on me. He was measuring me up. And I was stark naked. I shuffled through my bag and put on my back-up clothes. Wolf stood up from his place and nuzzled his nose into my neck. Wow, give a finger, he's going to bite your arm off. He was definitely ready to take things to the next step.
• He bit into my jacket, making another hole in it and I grunted. His body stiffened and slight hostility filled the air.
• “I need it to keep me warm,” I half-lied. It was the only remaining jacket I had. I couldn't let him destroy it.
• Mate didn't care about that. He started walking, pulling me with him.
• “Seriously?!” I whined and tried to stop walking. It didn't work.
• “Mate!” I hissed, restraining my anger. He halted. “Where are you taking me? To your pack? They wouldn't accept me, mate. And I wouldn't be able to live with them. I prefer my human body.”
• He let go of me and I looked at him. My hope was diminished when he pushed his nose in my back, forcing me to push forward. Okay, perhaps he didn't understand that far.
• We walked for a few hours with his body way too close to mine. My fever was starting to return and the strain I was putting on my muscles and crooked leg was too much.
• “Mate, where are you taking me?” I asked again, breathless. It had become so hard to breathe and every step made it even more impossible. “I can't join your pack. I'm not one of you...”
• Of course, he didn't react. I wasn't expecting him to suddenly start talking or shift into a human, but a small part of me still hoped. There had to be something about him. He had to be that special one. He had to be because, otherwise, I was dead meat.
• Snow started falling around us and I breathed out, unconsciously stopping. I lifted my head to the sky and blinked when a snowflake entered my eye.
• “You know, I've always hated snow,” I said more to myself than him. “I hate coldness and the way it makes you feel numb. And I've experienced that so many times in my life. So many nights I've wondered how I'd survive and face the next day. Especially after my parents-” I inhaled, the sharp cold air entering my burning throat. Memories rushed through my mind and reminded me how freaking alone I was again. But this time, I was going to make the right choices. “I spent my younger years on the streets in Colorado. I was homeless, because my parents had escaped from their packs and were on the run. They were criminals just because they wanted to join one common pack and weren't allowed to.” I scoffed bitterly, the reason I had chosen to follow Marcus and Bella, my old rogue Alphas, knotting in my stomach. I had craved revenge, but the things it led to were... only death and misery.
• I glanced at my mate and guilt tugged at my chest. He also probably had a family, loved ones, and his own life. And now the person in him was dead partly because of me. Because I had followed the villains.
• “Mate... I can call you mate, right? I mean, you have no name and I don't know anything about you. The only thing I know is that you're my mate.” I turned my head to him and our eyes collided.
• I averted my gaze.
• ...
• After some more time, I saw where he had been taking me. To another much smaller cave on the right side of a... lake! The view became so picturesque and I forgot all about what had been bothering me for the past few days. My eyes roamed the surrounding nature. The trees were like a beautiful mirage on the blueish, not frozen water and even the gray sky suddenly looked much brighter. I gasped and my expression shifted into a grin. Water! I wouldn't have to melt the snow! And I could wash off the dirt!
• My pace increased as I headed to the lake and dropped the bag on the snow. Satisfaction flooded me, reaching the tips of my fingers. Staring at the surface of the water, I heaved a sigh of relief. I could see my image in it and when I lifted my hand to test its temperature, a set of teeth clasped over my sleeve. Mate was next to me, his big eyes fixed on me. I could almost see the worry in them.
• “I just want to see if it's drinkable.” I chuckled and tugged my arm, signaling for him to let go.
• He did.
• “Ugh!” I made a face when my fingers touched the cold liquid. It was bearable but very unpleasant. And I couldn't risk entering it now in my condition.
• Leaning forward to grab some water in my palms, Wolf whined next to me and shuffled nervously on his feet. He was really afraid of water. And he had followed me into the turbulent river. My jaw clenched as I stared at his image in the lake. How far was he willing to go to keep me at his side?