Chapter 6 How Gargantua was born in a strange manner
Whilst they were on this discourse and pleasant tattle of drinking, Gargamell_egan to be a little unwell in her lower parts; whereupon Grangousier aros_rom off the grass, and fell to comfort her very honestly and kindly,
suspecting that she was in travail, and told her that it was best for her t_it down upon the grass under the willows, because she was like very shortl_o see young feet, and that therefore it was convenient she should pluck u_er spirits, and take a good heart of new at the fresh arrival of her baby;
saying to her withal, that although the pain was somewhat grievous to her, i_ould be but of short continuance, and that the succeeding joy would quickl_emove that sorrow, in such sort that she should not so much as remember it.
On, with a sheep's courage! quoth he. Despatch this boy, and we will speedil_all to work for the making of another. Ha! said she, so well as you speak a_our own ease, you that are men! Well, then, in the name of God, I'll do m_est, seeing that you will have it so, but would to God that it were cut of_rom you! What? said Grangousier. Ha, said she, you are a good man indeed, yo_nderstand it well enough. What, my member? said he. By the goat's blood, i_t please you, that shall be done instantly; cause bring hither a knife. Alas,
said she, the Lord forbid, and pray Jesus to forgive me! I did not say it fro_y heart, therefore let it alone, and do not do it neither more nor less an_ind of harm for my speaking so to you. But I am like to have work enough t_o to-day and all for your member, yet God bless you and it.
Courage, courage, said he, take you no care of the matter, let the fou_oremost oxen do the work. I will yet go drink one whiff more, and if in th_ean time anything befall you that may require my presence, I will be so nea_o you, that, at the first whistling in your fist, I shall be with yo_orthwith. A little while after she began to groan, lament and cry. The_uddenly came the midwives from all quarters, who groping her below, foun_ome peloderies, which was a certain filthy stuff, and of a taste truly ba_nough. This they thought had been the child, but it was her fundament, tha_as slipped out with the mollification of her straight entrail, which you cal_he bum-gut, and that merely by eating of too many tripes, as we have showe_ou before. Whereupon an old ugly trot in the company, who had the repute o_n expert she-physician, and was come from Brisepaille, near to Saint Genou,
three score years before, made her so horrible a restrictive and bindin_edicine, and whereby all her larris, arse-pipes, and conduits were s_ppilated, stopped, obstructed, and contracted, that you could hardly hav_pened and enlarged them with your teeth, which is a terrible thing to thin_pon; seeing the Devil at the mass at Saint Martin's was puzzled with the lik_ask, when with his teeth he had lengthened out the parchment whereon he wrot_he tittle-tattle of two young mangy whores. By this inconvenient th_otyledons of her matrix were presently loosed, through which the child spran_p and leaped, and so, entering into the hollow vein, did climb by th_iaphragm even above her shoulders, where the vein divides itself into two,
and from thence taking his way towards the left side, issued forth at her lef_ar. As soon as he was born, he cried not as other babes use to do, Miez,
miez, miez, miez, but with a high, sturdy, and big voice shouted about, Som_rink, some drink, some drink, as inviting all the world to drink with him.
The noise hereof was so extremely great, that it was heard in both th_ountries at once of Beauce and Bibarois. I doubt me, that you do no_horoughly believe the truth of this strange nativity. Though you believe i_ot, I care not much: but an honest man, and of good judgment, believeth stil_hat is told him, and that which he finds written.
Is this beyond our law or our faith—against reason or the holy Scripture? Fo_y part, I find nothing in the sacred Bible that is against it. But tell me,
if it had been the will of God, would you say that he could not do it? Ha, fo_avour sake, I beseech you, never emberlucock or inpulregafize your spirit_ith these vain thoughts and idle conceits; for I tell you, it is no_mpossible with God, and, if he pleased, all women henceforth should brin_orth their children at the ear. Was not Bacchus engendered out of the ver_high of Jupiter? Did not Roquetaillade come out at his mother's heel, an_rocmoush from the slipper of his nurse? Was not Minerva born of the brain,
even through the ear of Jove? Adonis, of the bark of a myrrh tree; and Casto_nd Pollux of the doupe of that egg which was laid and hatched by Leda? Bu_ou would wonder more, and with far greater amazement, if I should now presen_ou with that chapter of Plinius, wherein he treateth of strange births, an_ontrary to nature, and yet am not I so impudent a liar as he was. Read th_eventh book of his Natural History, chap.3, and trouble not my head any mor_bout this.