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Chapter 6 How Gargantua was born in a strange manner

  • Whilst they were on this discourse and pleasant tattle of drinking, Gargamell_egan to be a little unwell in her lower parts; whereupon Grangousier aros_rom off the grass, and fell to comfort her very honestly and kindly,
  • suspecting that she was in travail, and told her that it was best for her t_it down upon the grass under the willows, because she was like very shortl_o see young feet, and that therefore it was convenient she should pluck u_er spirits, and take a good heart of new at the fresh arrival of her baby;
  • saying to her withal, that although the pain was somewhat grievous to her, i_ould be but of short continuance, and that the succeeding joy would quickl_emove that sorrow, in such sort that she should not so much as remember it.
  • On, with a sheep's courage! quoth he. Despatch this boy, and we will speedil_all to work for the making of another. Ha! said she, so well as you speak a_our own ease, you that are men! Well, then, in the name of God, I'll do m_est, seeing that you will have it so, but would to God that it were cut of_rom you! What? said Grangousier. Ha, said she, you are a good man indeed, yo_nderstand it well enough. What, my member? said he. By the goat's blood, i_t please you, that shall be done instantly; cause bring hither a knife. Alas,
  • said she, the Lord forbid, and pray Jesus to forgive me! I did not say it fro_y heart, therefore let it alone, and do not do it neither more nor less an_ind of harm for my speaking so to you. But I am like to have work enough t_o to-day and all for your member, yet God bless you and it.
  • Courage, courage, said he, take you no care of the matter, let the fou_oremost oxen do the work. I will yet go drink one whiff more, and if in th_ean time anything befall you that may require my presence, I will be so nea_o you, that, at the first whistling in your fist, I shall be with yo_orthwith. A little while after she began to groan, lament and cry. The_uddenly came the midwives from all quarters, who groping her below, foun_ome peloderies, which was a certain filthy stuff, and of a taste truly ba_nough. This they thought had been the child, but it was her fundament, tha_as slipped out with the mollification of her straight entrail, which you cal_he bum-gut, and that merely by eating of too many tripes, as we have showe_ou before. Whereupon an old ugly trot in the company, who had the repute o_n expert she-physician, and was come from Brisepaille, near to Saint Genou,
  • three score years before, made her so horrible a restrictive and bindin_edicine, and whereby all her larris, arse-pipes, and conduits were s_ppilated, stopped, obstructed, and contracted, that you could hardly hav_pened and enlarged them with your teeth, which is a terrible thing to thin_pon; seeing the Devil at the mass at Saint Martin's was puzzled with the lik_ask, when with his teeth he had lengthened out the parchment whereon he wrot_he tittle-tattle of two young mangy whores. By this inconvenient th_otyledons of her matrix were presently loosed, through which the child spran_p and leaped, and so, entering into the hollow vein, did climb by th_iaphragm even above her shoulders, where the vein divides itself into two,
  • and from thence taking his way towards the left side, issued forth at her lef_ar. As soon as he was born, he cried not as other babes use to do, Miez,
  • miez, miez, miez, but with a high, sturdy, and big voice shouted about, Som_rink, some drink, some drink, as inviting all the world to drink with him.
  • The noise hereof was so extremely great, that it was heard in both th_ountries at once of Beauce and Bibarois. I doubt me, that you do no_horoughly believe the truth of this strange nativity. Though you believe i_ot, I care not much: but an honest man, and of good judgment, believeth stil_hat is told him, and that which he finds written.
  • Is this beyond our law or our faith—against reason or the holy Scripture? Fo_y part, I find nothing in the sacred Bible that is against it. But tell me,
  • if it had been the will of God, would you say that he could not do it? Ha, fo_avour sake, I beseech you, never emberlucock or inpulregafize your spirit_ith these vain thoughts and idle conceits; for I tell you, it is no_mpossible with God, and, if he pleased, all women henceforth should brin_orth their children at the ear. Was not Bacchus engendered out of the ver_high of Jupiter? Did not Roquetaillade come out at his mother's heel, an_rocmoush from the slipper of his nurse? Was not Minerva born of the brain,
  • even through the ear of Jove? Adonis, of the bark of a myrrh tree; and Casto_nd Pollux of the doupe of that egg which was laid and hatched by Leda? Bu_ou would wonder more, and with far greater amazement, if I should now presen_ou with that chapter of Plinius, wherein he treateth of strange births, an_ontrary to nature, and yet am not I so impudent a liar as he was. Read th_eventh book of his Natural History, chap.3, and trouble not my head any mor_bout this.