The Author's Prologue to the First Book
Rabelais to the Readers
Chapter 1 Of the Genealogy and Antiquity of Gargantua
Chapter 2 The Antidoted Fanfreluches or, a Galimatia of extravagan_onceits found in an ancient Monument
Chapter 3 How Gargantua was carried eleven months in his mother's belly
Chapter 4 How Gargamelle, being great with Gargantua, did eat a huge dea_f tripes
Chapter 5 The Discourse of the Drinkers
Chapter 6 How Gargantua was born in a strange manner
Chapter 7 After what manner Gargantua had his name given him, and how h_ippled, bibbed, and curried the can
Chapter 8 How they apparelled Gargantua
Chapter 9 The colours and liveries of Gargantua
Chapter 10 Of that which is signified by the colours white and blue
Chapter 11 Of the youthful age of Gargantua
Chapter 12 Of Gargantua's wooden horses
Chapter 13 How Gargantua's wonderful understanding became known to hi_ather Grangousier, by the invention of a torchecul or wipebreech
Chapter 14 How Gargantua was taught Latin by a Sophister
Chapter 15 How Gargantua was put under other schoolmasters
Chapter 16 How Gargantua was sent to Paris, and of the huge great mare tha_e rode on, how she destroyed the oxflies of the Beauce
Chapter 17 How Gargantua paid his welcome to the Parisians, and how he too_way the great bells of Our Lady's Church
Chapter 18 How Janotus de Bragmardo was sent to Gargantua to recover th_reat bells
Chapter 19 The oration of Master Janotus de Bragmardo for recovery of th_ells
Chapter 20 How the Sophister carried away his cloth, and how he had a sui_n law against the other masters
Chapter 21 The study of Gargantua, according to the discipline of hi_choolmasters the Sophisters
Chapter 22 The games of Gargantua
Chapter 23 How Gargantua was instructed by Ponocrates, and in such sor_isciplinated, that he lost not one hour of the day
Chapter 24 How Gargantua spent his time in rainy weather
Chapter 25 How there was great strife and debate raised betwixt the cake-
bakers of Lerne, and those of Gargantua's country, whereupon were waged grea_ars
Chapter 26 How the inhabitants of Lerne, by the commandment of Picrochol_heir king, assaulted the shepherds of Gargantua unexpectedly and on a sudden
Chapter 27 How a monk of Seville saved the close of the abbey from bein_ansacked by the enemy
Chapter 28 How Picrochole stormed and took by assault the rock Clermond,
and of Grangousier's unwillingness and aversion from the undertaking of war
Chapter 29 The tenour of the letter which Grangousier wrote to his so_argantua
Chapter 30 How Ulric Gallet was sent unto Picrochole
Chapter 31 The speech made by Gallet to Picrochole
Chapter 32 How Grangousier, to buy peace, caused the cakes to be restored
Chapter 33 How some statesmen of Picrochole, by hairbrained counsel, pu_im in extreme danger
Chapter 34 How Gargantua left the city of Paris to succour his country, an_ow Gymnast encountered with the enemy
Chapter 35 How Gymnast very souply and cunningly killed Captain Tripet an_thers of Picrochole's men
Chapter 36 How Gargantua demolished the castle at the ford of Vede, and ho_hey passed the ford
Chapter 37 How Gargantua, in combing his head, made the great cannon-ball_all out of his hair
Chapter 38 How Gargantua did eat up six pilgrims in a salad
Chapter 39 How the Monk was feasted by Gargantua, and of the jovia_iscourse they had at supper
Chapter 40 Why monks are the outcasts of the world, and wherefore some hav_igger noses than others
Chapter 41 How the Monk made Gargantua sleep, and of his hours an_reviaries
Chapter 42 How the Monk encouraged his fellow-champions, and how he hange_pon a tree
Chapter 43 How the scouts and fore-party of Picrochole were met with b_argantua, and how the Monk slew Captain Drawforth, and then was take_risoner by his enemies
Chapter 44 How the Monk rid himself of his keepers, and how Picrochole'_orlorn hope was defeated
Chapter 45 How the Monk carried along with him the Pilgrims, and of th_ood words that Grangousier gave them
Chapter 46 How Grangousier did very kindly entertain Touchfaucet hi_risoner
Chapter 47 How Grangousier sent for his legions, and how Touchfaucet sle_ashcalf, and was afterwards executed by the command of Picrochole
Chapter 48 How Gargantua set upon Picrochole within the rock Clermond, an_tterly defeated the army of the said Picrochole
Chapter 49 How Picrochole in his flight fell into great misfortunes, an_hat Gargantua did after the battle
Chapter 50 Gargantua's speech to the vanquished
Chapter 51 How the victorious Gargantuists were recompensed after th_attle
Chapter 52 How Gargantua caused to be built for the Monk the Abbey o_heleme
Chapter 53 How the abbey of the Thelemites was built and endowed
Chapter 54 The inscription set upon the great gate of Theleme
Chapter 55 What manner of dwelling the Thelemites had
Chapter 56 How the men and women of the religious order of Theleme wer_pparelled
Chapter 57 How the Thelemites were governed, and of their manner of living
Chapter 58 A prophetical Riddle
Table of Contents
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Chapter 54 The inscription set upon the great gate of Theleme
- Here enter not vile bigots, hypocrites,
- Externally devoted apes, base snites,
- Puffed-up, wry-necked beasts, worse than the Huns,
- Or Ostrogoths, forerunners of baboons:
- Cursed snakes, dissembled varlets, seeming sancts,
- Slipshod caffards, beggars pretending wants,
- Fat chuffcats, smell-feast knockers, doltish gulls,
- Out-strouting cluster-fists, contentious bulls,
- Fomenters of divisions and debates,
- Elsewhere, not here, make sale of your deceits.
- Your filthy trumperies
- Stuffed with pernicious lies
- (Not worth a bubble),
- Would do but trouble
- Our earthly paradise,
- Your filthy trumperies.
- Here enter not attorneys, barristers,
- Nor bridle-champing law-practitioners:
- Clerks, commissaries, scribes, nor pharisees,
- Wilful disturbers of the people's ease:
- Judges, destroyers, with an unjust breath,
- Of honest men, like dogs, even unto death.
- Your salary is at the gibbet-foot:
- Go drink there! for we do not here fly out
- On those excessive courses, which may draw
- A waiting on your courts by suits in law.
- Lawsuits, debates, and wrangling
- Hence are exiled, and jangling.
- Here we are very
- Frolic and merry,
- And free from all entangling,
- Lawsuits, debates, and wrangling.
- Here enter not base pinching usurers,
- Pelf-lickers, everlasting gatherers,
- Gold-graspers, coin-gripers, gulpers of mists,
- Niggish deformed sots, who, though your chests
- Vast sums of money should to you afford,
- Would ne'ertheless add more unto that hoard,
- And yet not be content,—you clunchfist dastards,
- Insatiable fiends, and Pluto's bastards,
- Greedy devourers, chichy sneakbill rogues,
- Hell-mastiffs gnaw your bones, you ravenous dogs.
- You beastly-looking fellows,
- Reason doth plainly tell us
- That we should not
- To you allot
- Room here, but at the gallows,
- You beastly-looking fellows.
- Here enter not fond makers of demurs
- In love adventures, peevish, jealous curs,
- Sad pensive dotards, raisers of garboils,
- Hags, goblins, ghosts, firebrands of household broils,
- Nor drunkards, liars, cowards, cheaters, clowns,
- Thieves, cannibals, faces o'ercast with frowns,
- Nor lazy slugs, envious, covetous,
- Nor blockish, cruel, nor too credulous,—
- Here mangy, pocky folks shall have no place,
- No ugly lusks, nor persons of disgrace.
- Grace, honour, praise, delight,
- Here sojourn day and night.
- Sound bodies lined
- With a good mind,
- Do here pursue with might
- Grace, honour, praise, delight.
- Here enter you, and welcome from our hearts,
- All noble sparks, endowed with gallant parts.
- This is the glorious place, which bravely shall
- Afford wherewith to entertain you all.
- Were you a thousand, here you shall not want
- For anything; for what you'll ask we'll grant.
- Stay here, you lively, jovial, handsome, brisk,
- Gay, witty, frolic, cheerful, merry, frisk,
- Spruce, jocund, courteous, furtherers of trades,
- And, in a word, all worthy gentle blades.
- Blades of heroic breasts
- Shall taste here of the feasts,
- Both privily
- And civilly
- Of the celestial guests,
- Blades of heroic breasts.
- Here enter you, pure, honest, faithful, true
- Expounders of the Scriptures old and new.
- Whose glosses do not blind our reason, but
- Make it to see the clearer, and who shut
- Its passages from hatred, avarice,
- Pride, factions, covenants, and all sort of vice.
- Come, settle here a charitable faith,
- Which neighbourly affection nourisheth.
- And whose light chaseth all corrupters hence,
- Of the blest word, from the aforesaid sense.
- The holy sacred Word,
- May it always afford
- T' us all in common,
- Both man and woman,
- A spiritual shield and sword,
- The holy sacred Word.
- Here enter you all ladies of high birth,
- Delicious, stately, charming, full of mirth,
- Ingenious, lovely, miniard, proper, fair,
- Magnetic, graceful, splendid, pleasant, rare,
- Obliging, sprightly, virtuous, young, solacious,
- Kind, neat, quick, feat, bright, compt, ripe, choice, dear, precious.
- Alluring, courtly, comely, fine, complete,
- Wise, personable, ravishing, and sweet,
- Come joys enjoy. The Lord celestial
- Hath given enough wherewith to please us all.
- Gold give us, God forgive us,
- And from all woes relieve us;
- That we the treasure
- May reap of pleasure,
- And shun whate'er is grievous,
- Gold give us, God forgive us.