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Chapter 54 The inscription set upon the great gate of Theleme

  • Here enter not vile bigots, hypocrites,
  • Externally devoted apes, base snites,
  • Puffed-up, wry-necked beasts, worse than the Huns,
  • Or Ostrogoths, forerunners of baboons:
  • Cursed snakes, dissembled varlets, seeming sancts,
  • Slipshod caffards, beggars pretending wants,
  • Fat chuffcats, smell-feast knockers, doltish gulls,
  • Out-strouting cluster-fists, contentious bulls,
  • Fomenters of divisions and debates,
  • Elsewhere, not here, make sale of your deceits.
  • Your filthy trumperies
  • Stuffed with pernicious lies
  • (Not worth a bubble),
  • Would do but trouble
  • Our earthly paradise,
  • Your filthy trumperies.
  • Here enter not attorneys, barristers,
  • Nor bridle-champing law-practitioners:
  • Clerks, commissaries, scribes, nor pharisees,
  • Wilful disturbers of the people's ease:
  • Judges, destroyers, with an unjust breath,
  • Of honest men, like dogs, even unto death.
  • Your salary is at the gibbet-foot:
  • Go drink there! for we do not here fly out
  • On those excessive courses, which may draw
  • A waiting on your courts by suits in law.
  • Lawsuits, debates, and wrangling
  • Hence are exiled, and jangling.
  • Here we are very
  • Frolic and merry,
  • And free from all entangling,
  • Lawsuits, debates, and wrangling.
  • Here enter not base pinching usurers,
  • Pelf-lickers, everlasting gatherers,
  • Gold-graspers, coin-gripers, gulpers of mists,
  • Niggish deformed sots, who, though your chests
  • Vast sums of money should to you afford,
  • Would ne'ertheless add more unto that hoard,
  • And yet not be content,—you clunchfist dastards,
  • Insatiable fiends, and Pluto's bastards,
  • Greedy devourers, chichy sneakbill rogues,
  • Hell-mastiffs gnaw your bones, you ravenous dogs.
  • You beastly-looking fellows,
  • Reason doth plainly tell us
  • That we should not
  • To you allot
  • Room here, but at the gallows,
  • You beastly-looking fellows.
  • Here enter not fond makers of demurs
  • In love adventures, peevish, jealous curs,
  • Sad pensive dotards, raisers of garboils,
  • Hags, goblins, ghosts, firebrands of household broils,
  • Nor drunkards, liars, cowards, cheaters, clowns,
  • Thieves, cannibals, faces o'ercast with frowns,
  • Nor lazy slugs, envious, covetous,
  • Nor blockish, cruel, nor too credulous,—
  • Here mangy, pocky folks shall have no place,
  • No ugly lusks, nor persons of disgrace.
  • Grace, honour, praise, delight,
  • Here sojourn day and night.
  • Sound bodies lined
  • With a good mind,
  • Do here pursue with might
  • Grace, honour, praise, delight.
  • Here enter you, and welcome from our hearts,
  • All noble sparks, endowed with gallant parts.
  • This is the glorious place, which bravely shall
  • Afford wherewith to entertain you all.
  • Were you a thousand, here you shall not want
  • For anything; for what you'll ask we'll grant.
  • Stay here, you lively, jovial, handsome, brisk,
  • Gay, witty, frolic, cheerful, merry, frisk,
  • Spruce, jocund, courteous, furtherers of trades,
  • And, in a word, all worthy gentle blades.
  • Blades of heroic breasts
  • Shall taste here of the feasts,
  • Both privily
  • And civilly
  • Of the celestial guests,
  • Blades of heroic breasts.
  • Here enter you, pure, honest, faithful, true
  • Expounders of the Scriptures old and new.
  • Whose glosses do not blind our reason, but
  • Make it to see the clearer, and who shut
  • Its passages from hatred, avarice,
  • Pride, factions, covenants, and all sort of vice.
  • Come, settle here a charitable faith,
  • Which neighbourly affection nourisheth.
  • And whose light chaseth all corrupters hence,
  • Of the blest word, from the aforesaid sense.
  • The holy sacred Word,
  • May it always afford
  • T' us all in common,
  • Both man and woman,
  • A spiritual shield and sword,
  • The holy sacred Word.
  • Here enter you all ladies of high birth,
  • Delicious, stately, charming, full of mirth,
  • Ingenious, lovely, miniard, proper, fair,
  • Magnetic, graceful, splendid, pleasant, rare,
  • Obliging, sprightly, virtuous, young, solacious,
  • Kind, neat, quick, feat, bright, compt, ripe, choice, dear, precious.
  • Alluring, courtly, comely, fine, complete,
  • Wise, personable, ravishing, and sweet,
  • Come joys enjoy. The Lord celestial
  • Hath given enough wherewith to please us all.
  • Gold give us, God forgive us,
  • And from all woes relieve us;
  • That we the treasure
  • May reap of pleasure,
  • And shun whate'er is grievous,
  • Gold give us, God forgive us.