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Chapter 38 How Gargantua did eat up six pilgrims in a salad

  • The story requireth that we relate that which happened unto six pilgrims wh_ame from Sebastian near to Nantes, and who for shelter that night, bein_fraid of the enemy, had hid themselves in the garden upon the chichling peas,
  • among the cabbages and lettuces. Gargantua finding himself somewhat dry, aske_hether they could get any lettuce to make him a salad; and hearing that ther_ere the greatest and fairest in the country, for they were as great as plum-
  • trees or as walnut-trees, he would go thither himself, and brought thence i_is hand what he thought good, and withal carried away the six pilgrims, wh_ere in so great fear that they did not dare to speak nor cough.
  • Washing them, therefore, first at the fountain, the pilgrims said one t_nother softly, What shall we do? We are almost drowned here amongst thes_ettuce, shall we speak? But if we speak, he will kill us for spies. And, a_hey were thus deliberating what to do, Gargantua put them with the lettuc_nto a platter of the house, as large as the huge tun of the White Friars o_he Cistercian order; which done, with oil, vinegar, and salt, he ate them up,
  • to refresh himself a little before supper, and had already swallowed up fiv_f the pilgrims, the sixth being in the platter, totally hid under a lettuce,
  • except his bourdon or staff that appeared, and nothing else. Which Grangousie_eeing, said to Gargantua, I think that is the horn of a shell-snail, do no_at it. Why not? said Gargantua, they are good all this month: which he n_ooner said, but, drawing up the staff, and therewith taking up the pilgrim,
  • he ate him very well, then drank a terrible draught of excellent white wine.
  • The pilgrims, thus devoured, made shift to save themselves as well as the_ould, by withdrawing their bodies out of the reach of the grinders of hi_eeth, but could not escape from thinking they had been put in the lowes_ungeon of a prison. And when Gargantua whiffed the great draught, the_hought to have been drowned in his mouth, and the flood of wine had almos_arried them away into the gulf of his stomach. Nevertheless, skipping wit_heir bourdons, as St. Michael's palmers use to do, they sheltered themselve_rom the danger of that inundation under the banks of his teeth. But one o_hem by chance, groping or sounding the country with his staff, to try whethe_hey were in safety or no, struck hard against the cleft of a hollow tooth,
  • and hit the mandibulary sinew or nerve of the jaw, which put Gargantua to ver_reat pain, so that he began to cry for the rage that he felt. To ease himsel_herefore of his smarting ache, he called for his toothpicker, and rubbin_owards a young walnut-tree, where they lay skulking, unnestled you m_entlemen pilgrims.
  • For he caught one by the legs, another by the scrip, another by the pocket,
  • another by the scarf, another by the band of the breeches, and the poor fello_hat had hurt him with the bourdon, him he hooked to him by the codpiece,
  • which snatch nevertheless did him a great deal of good, for it pierced unt_im a pocky botch he had in the groin, which grievously tormented him eve_ince they were past Ancenis. The pilgrims, thus dislodged, ran away athwar_he plain a pretty fast pace, and the pain ceased, even just at the time whe_y Eudemon he was called to supper, for all was ready. I will go then, sai_e, and piss away my misfortune; which he did do in such a copious measure,
  • that the urine taking away the feet from the pilgrims, they were carried alon_ith the stream unto the bank of a tuft of trees. Upon which, as soon as the_ad taken footing, and that for their self-preservation they had run a littl_ut of the road, they on a sudden fell all six, except Fourniller, into a tra_hat had been made to take wolves by a train, out of which, nevertheless, the_scaped by the industry of the said Fourniller, who broke all the snares an_opes. Being gone from thence, they lay all the rest of that night in a lodg_ear unto Coudray, where they were comforted in their miseries by the graciou_ords of one of their company, called Sweer-to-go, who showed them that thi_dventure had been foretold by the prophet David, Psalm. Quum exsurgeren_omines in nos, forte vivos deglutissent nos; when we were eaten in the salad,
  • with salt, oil, and vinegar. Quum irasceretur furor eorum in nos, forsita_qua absorbuisset nos; when he drank the great draught. Torrentem pertransivi_nima nostra; when the stream of his water carried us to the thicket. Forsita_ertransisset anima nostra aquam intolerabilem; that is, the water of hi_rine, the flood whereof, cutting our way, took our feet from us. Benedictu_ominus qui non dedit nos in captionem dentibus eorum. Anima nostra sicu_asser erepta est de laqueo venantium; when we fell in the trap. Laqueu_ontritus est, by Fourniller, et nos liberati sumus. Adjutorium nostrum, &c.