Chapter 8

• Chapter Eight
• There was a special place in hell for him for not even knowing what his own daughter looked like, let alone her name and her age.
• “I never thought that I could ever be ashamed to call you my son.”
• The anger in his mother’s voice pulled his attention. The disappointed look on her face made him cringe.
• “Hi mom,” he said sweetly. When he bent to hug her, she pushed him away. She was truly pissed if she didn’t want to hug and fuss over her baby boy.
• “As long as that little girl doesn’t feel the love of her father you can forget about ever hugging me,” her eyes narrowed to threatening slits, “Ever.”
• Oh boy! “Mom, things aren’t that simple.”
• “Why? Because you don’t want her? Well, your dad didn’t want you either.”
• Derek nodded. He guessed that was supposed to sting as her intent was to hurt him, but his dad had already confessed that earlier. “Yeah, he told me.”
• She shook her head, “I don’t think you understand. He broke up with me, told me in his line of work, he couldn’t have a family. He had no room for one and honestly didn’t want a kid. You were a mistake he wasn’t going to take on. You are like him in every way—good and bad.”
• His mother’s words struck home. That hurt knowing how much his dad didn’t want him. And it pissed him off.
• “Did he want me aborted?”
• She shrugged, “It came up.”
• Another direct blow!
• She patted his chest, “All that hurt and anger you feel in here? That’s what your daughter will feel once she’s old enough to understand your rejection.”
• “I didn’t try to get her aborted,” he hissed.
• “That’s because her mother didn’t give you a chance to. You truly want to tell me you wouldn’t have demanded it if she came to you pregnant? You wouldn’t have forced her into the car and driven her to the clinic, or worse taken the matter into your own hands?”
• Something in his face must have given his thoughts away because she sighed heavily, the disappointment palpable.
• She was right, Derek might have done worse than just suggest an abortion. That’s how much he didn’t want a kid, how much he didn’t want the life he loved so much to be inconvenienced.
• “You know, I had this entire conversation planned out. I had all my arguments lined up. I was going to sit you down and we would talk calmly, help you understand the importance of your presence in your daughter’s life. That was until you walked in here with that whore!”
• Derek’s mouth fell open, “Mom!”
• “What self-respecting woman would move from being one brother’s mistress to the next? You do know she made a move on Damien too? But he seems to be the only one with enough brains not to fall into her seductress web. If you think you can include her in this family, you are in for one hell of a surprise!” With that, she turned around and stomped out of the room. Derek watched her go, in complete shock.
• “That looked like it went well.” Of course only coming back when the threat had left.
• Derek turned on his dad, “You wanted me aborted!”
• His dad stared him in the eye, with no guilt whatsoever, “At some point, yes I did, then your mom punched that idea right out of my head. I’ve got a scar on my upper lip as a reminder not to piss her off,” he chuckled shaking his head, “I already had one vulnerability, your mother, I couldn’t afford another. Company life doesn’t exactly support a family.”
• Derek nodded. The CIA wasn’t really conducive for any of their agents to have a family, especially when it came to safety. With each job, it put them more and more in danger. In fact, they preferred people who didn’t have families. He was sure his application would have been denied if it wasn’t for his dad pulling some strings.
• “That why you quit?”
• His dad nodded, “My new job though just as intense, at least made sure I was home most nights in time for dinner with my wife and son. I didn’t miss one of your recitals or football games all through college. In the end, your mother was right. It was a great trade off.”
• His dad pulled him back a few steps, pulling them further from the rest of the room, “Your cover is blown. You will never be able to get back into the Company and if by some miracle you do, you can forget about field work and highly sensitive ops. You would be a glorified babysitter at the training institute. The closest you’ll ever get to your former job is a high-level suit in the FBI.”
• Derek clenched his jaw hard, his tight fists shaking in his pants pockets as he fought for control. If his dad was telling him this, then his career was truly over.
• “There is a spot open. It’s yours if you want it, but you need to make up your mind soon. It’s time to reevaluate your priorities son.” He said staring pointedly at the little girl seated on DJ’s, Damien’s son, lap listening to a story Uncle Dale was telling. On his own lap was his grandson who looked enthralled by his story. Uncle Hero held Stacey-Ann, Dale’s daughter. She was laid against him like he was a comfortable cushion as she listened. Dale and Damien had also joined the story time, each holding Damien’s daughters asleep in their arms.
• In the past two years Dale and Damien had taken high ranking jobs in the FBI that had them behind the desk more often than in the field and they seemed to enjoy the slow pace their lives had become. He and his cousin were all in their early forties and Derek was the only one who still enjoyed life in the fast lane while they enjoyed peace and quiet, and time with their families. Good for them, but snail pace living was not the life Derek wanted.
• “Damien just had two more babies and I hear Ellie has the itch for another kid. Your cousins can’t continue raising your kid while you keep enjoying living life on the edge. And that mother of hers, when is she coming back? The two of you need to start thinking of the child you brought into this world and stop being selfish.”
• “Fine, then you and mom take her!” he snarled. And before his dad could say a word, Derek slid open the sunroom door and stepped out into the backyard and into the biting cold. He didn’t care what anyone else said. He was going to find a way to get his life back.