I had it now, I felt it now, and, beginning to drive, he soon gave nature suc_ powerful summons down to her favourite quarters, that she could no longe_efuse repairing thither; all my animal spirits then rush'd mechanically t_hat center of attraction, and presently, inly warmed, and stirr'd as I wa_eyond bearing, I lost all restraint, and yielding to the force of th_motion, gave down, as mere woman, those effusions of pleasure, which, in th_trictness of still faithful love, I could have wished to have held up.
Yet oh! what an immense difference did I feel between this impression of _leasure merely animal, and struck out of the collision of the sexes by _assive bodily effect, from that sweet fury, that rage of active delight whic_rowns the enjoyments of a mutual love-passion, where two hearts, tenderly an_ruly united, club to exalt the joy, and give it a spirit and soul that bid_efiance to that end which mere momentary desires generally terminate in, whe_hey die of a surfeit of satisfaction!
Mr. H … , whom no distinctions of that sort seemed to disturb, scarce gav_imself or me breathing time from the last encounter, but, as if he had task'_imself to prove that the appearances of his vigour were not signs hung out i_ain, in a few minutes he was in a condition for renewing the onset; to which, preluding with a storm of kisses, he drove the same course as before, wit_nabated fervour; and thus, in repeated engagements, kept me constantly i_xercise till dawn of morning; in all which time he made me fully sensible o_he virtues of his firm texture of limbs, his square shoulders, broad chest, compact hard muscles, in short a system of namliness that might pass for n_ad image of our ancient sturdy barons, when they wielded the battle-ax: whos_ace is now so thoroughly refin'd and frittered away into the more delicat_nd modern-built frame of our pap-nerv'd softlings, who are as pale, a_retty, and almost as masculine as their sisters.
Mr. H … , content, however, with having the day break upon his triumphs, delivered me up to the refreshment of a rest we both wanted, and we soo_ropped into a profound sleep.
Tho' he was some time awake before me, yet did he not offer to disturb _epose he had given me so much occasion for; but on my first stirring, whic_as not till past ten o'clock, I was oblig'd to endure one more trial of hi_anhood.
About eleven, in came Mrs. Jones, with two basins of the richest soup, whic_er experience in these matters had mov'd her to prepare. I pass over th_ulsome compliments, the cant of the decent procuress, with which she salute_s both; but tho' my blood rose at the sight of her, I supprest my emotions, and gave all my concern to reflections on what would be the consequence o_his new engagement.
But Mr. H … , who penetrated my uneasiness, did not long suffer me to languis_nder it. He acquainted me that, having taken a solid sincere affection to me, he would begin by giving me one leading mark of it by removing me out of _ouse which must, for many reasons, be irksome and disagreeable to me, int_onvenient lodgings, where he would take all imaginable care of me; an_esiring me not to have any explanations with my landlady, or be impatien_ill he returned, he dress'd and went out, having left me a purse with two an_wenty guineas in it, being all he had about him, as he expresst it, to kee_y pocket till further supplies.
As soon as he was gone, I felt the usual consequence of the first launch int_ice (for my love-attachment to Charles never appear'd to me in that light). _as instantly borne away down the stream, without making back to the shore. M_readful necessities, my gratitude, and above all, to say the plain truth, th_issipation and diversion I began to find, in this new acquaintance, from th_lack corroding thoughts my heart had been a prey to ever since the absence o_y dear Charles, concurr'd to stun all contrary reflections. If I now though_f my first, my only charmer, it was still with the tenderness and regret o_he fondest love, embitter'd with the consciousness that I was no longe_orthy of him. I could have begg'd my bread with him all over the world, bu_retch that I was, I had neither the virtue nor courage requisite not t_utlive my separation from him!
Yet, had not my heart been thus pre-ingaged, Mr. H … might probably have bee_he sole master of it; but the place was full, and the force of conjuncture_lone had made him the possessor of my person; the charms of which had, by th_ye, been his sole object and passion, and were, of course, no foundation fo_ love either very delicate or very durable.
He did not return till six in the evening to take me away to my new lodgings; and my moveables being soon pack'd, and convey'd into a hackney-coach, it cos_e but little regret to take my leave of a landlady whom I thought I had s_uch reason not to be overpleas'd with; and as for her part, she made no othe_ifference to my staying or going, but what that of the profit created.
We soon got to the house appointed for me, which was that of a plain tradesma_ho, on the score of interest, was entirely at Mr. H … 's devotion, and wh_et him the first floor, very genteelly furnish'd, for two guineas a week, o_hich I was instated mistress, with a maid to attend me.
He stayed with me that evening, and we had a supper from a neighbourin_avern, after which, and a gay glass or two, the maid put me to bed. Mr. H … soon follow'd, and notwithstanding the fatigues of the preceding night, _ound no quarter nor remission from him: he piqued himself, as he told me, o_oing the honours of my new apartment.
The morning being pretty well advanc'd, we got to breakfast; and the ice no_roke, my heart, no longer engross'd by love, began to take ease, and t_lease itself with such trifles as Mr. H … 's liberal liking led him to mak_is court to the usual vanity of our sex. Silks, laces, ear-rings, pearl- necklace, gold watch, in short, all the trinkets and articles of dress wer_avishly heap'd upon me; the sense of which, if it did not create returns o_ove, forc'd a kind of grateful fondness something like love; a distinction i_ould be spoiling the pleasure of nine tenths of the keepers in the town t_ake, and is, I suppose, the very good reason why so few of them ever do mak_t.
I was now establish'd the kept mistress in form, well lodg'd, with a ver_ufficient allowance, and lighted up with all the lustre of dress.
Mr. H … continu'd kind and tender to me; yet, with all this, I was far fro_appy; for, besides my regret for my dear youth, which, though often suspende_r diverted, still return'd upon me in certain melancholic, moments wit_edoubled violences, I wanted more society, more dissipation.
As to Mr. H … , he was so much my superior in every sense, that I felt it to_uch to the disadvantage of the gratitude I ow'd him. Thus he gain'd m_steem, though he could not raise my taste; I was qualify'd for no sort o_onversation with him except one sort, and that is a satisfaction which leave_iresome intervals, if not fill'd up by love, or other amusements.
Mr. H … , so experienc'd, so learned in the ways of women, numbers of whom ha_assed through his hands, doubtless soon perceiv'd this uneasiness, an_ithout approving or liking me the better for it, had the complaisance t_ndulge me.
He made suppers at my lodgings, where he brought several companions of hi_leasures, with their mistresses; and by this means I got into a circle o_cquaintance that soo strip'd me of all the remains of bashfulness and modest_hich might be yet left of my country education, and were, to a just taste, perhaps the greatest of my charms.
We visited one another in form, and mimic'd, as near as we could, all th_iseries, the follies, and impertinences of the women of quality, in the roun_f which they trifle away their time, without its ever entering into thei_ittle heads that on earth there cannot subsist any thing more silly, mor_lat, more insipid and worthless, than, generally consider'd, their system o_ife is: they ought to treat the men as their tyrants, indeed! were they t_ondemn them to it.
But tho', amongst the kept mistresses (and I was now acquainted with a goo_any, besides some useful matrons, who live by their connexions with them), _ardly knew one that did not perfectly detest her keeper, and, of course, mad_ittle or no scruple of any infidelity she could safely accomplish, I ha_till no notion of wronging mine; for, besides that no mark of jealousy on hi_ide induced in me the desire or gave me the provocation to play him a tric_f that sort, and that his constant generosity, politeness, and tende_ttentions to please me forc'd a regard to him, that without affecting m_eart, insur'd him my fidelity, no object had yet presented that coul_vercome the habitual liking I had contracted for him; and I was on the eve o_btaining, from the movements of his own voluntary generosity, a modes_rovision for life, when an accident happen'd which broke all the measures h_ad resolv'd upon in my favor.
I had now liv'd near seven months with Mr. H … , when one day returning to m_odgings from a visit in the neighbourhood, where I us'd to stay longer, _ound the street door open, and the maid of the house standing at it, talkin_ith some of her acquaintances, so that I came in without knocking; and, as _assed by, she told me Mr. H … was above. I stept up-stairs into my own bed- chamber, with no other thought than of pulling off my hat, etc., and then t_ait upon him in the dining room, into which my bed-chamber had a door, as i_ommon enough. Whilst I was untying my hat-strings, I fancied I heard my mai_annah's voice and a sort of tussle, which raising my curiosity, I stol_oftly to the door, where a knot in the wood had been slipt out and afforded _ery commanding peep-hole to the scene then in agitation, the actors of whic_ad been too earnestly employ'd to hear my opening my own door, from th_anding-place of the stairs, into my bed-chamber.
The first sight that struck me was Mr. H … pulling and hauling this coars_ountry strammel towards a couch that stood in a corner of the dining room; t_hich the girl made only a sort of awkward boidening resistance, crying out s_oud, that I, who listened at the door, could scarce hear her: "Pray sir, don't … , let me alone … I am not for your turn … You cannot, sure, demea_ourself with such a poor body as I … Lord! Sir, my mistress may come home … _ust not indeed … I will cry out … " All of which did not hinder her fro_nsensibly suffering herself to be brought to the foot of the couch, upo_hich a push of no mighty violence serv'd to give her a very easy fall, and m_entleman having got up his hands to the strong-hold of her VIRTUE, she, n_oubt, thought it was time to give up the argument, and that all furthe_efense would be in vain: and he, throwing her petticoats over her face, whic_as now as red as scarlet, discover'd a pair of stout, plump, substantia_highs, and tolerably white; he mounted them round his hips, and coming ou_ith his drawn weapon, stuck it in the cloven spot, where he seem'd to find _ess difficult entrance than perhaps he had flatter'd himself with (for, b_he way, this blouze had left her place in the country, for a bastard), and, indeed, all his motions shew'd he was lodg'd pretty much at large. After h_ad done, his DEAREE gets up, drops her petticoats down, and smooths her apro_nd handkerchief. Mr. H … look'd a little silly, and taking out some money, gave it her, with an air indifferent enough, bidding her be a good girl, an_ay nothing.
Had I lov'd this man, it was not in nature for me to have had patience to se_he whole scene through: I should have broke in and play'd the jealou_rincess with a vengeance. But that was not the case, my pride alone was hurt, my heart not, and I could easier win upon myself to see how far he would go, till I had no uncertainty upon my conscience.
The least delicate of all affairs of this sort being now over, I retir'_oftly into my closet, where I began to consider what I should do. My firs_cheme, naturally, was to rush in and upbraid them; this, indeed, flatter'd m_resent emotions and vexations, as it would have given immediate vent to them; but, on second thoughts, not being so clear as to the consequences to b_pprehended from such a step, I began to doubt whether it was not better t_issemble my discovery till a safer season, when Mr. H … should have perfecte_he settlement he had made overtures to me of, and which I was not to thin_uch a violent explanation, as I was indeed not equal to the management of, could possibly forward, and might destroy. On the other hand, the provocatio_eem'd too gross, too flagrant, not to give me some thoughts of revenge; th_ery start of which idea restor'd me to perfect composure; and delighted as _as with the confus'd plan of it in my head, I was easily mistress enough o_yself to support the part of ignorance I had prescrib'd to myself; and as al_his circle of reflections was instantly over, I stole a tip-toe to th_assage door, and opening it with a noise, pass'd for having that moment com_ome; and after a short pause, as if to pull off my things, I opened the doo_nto the dining room, where I found the dowdy blowing the fire, and m_aithful shepherd walking about the room and whistling, as cool an_nconcern'd as if nothing had happened. I think, however, he had not much t_rag of having out-dissembled me: for I kept up, nobly, the character of ou_ex for art, and went up to him with the same air of frankness as I had eve_eceiv'd him. He stayed but a little while, made some excuse for not bein_ble to stay the evening with me, and went out.
As for the wench, she was now spoil'd, at least for my servant; and scarc_ight and forty hours were gone round, before her insolence, on what ha_ass'd between Mr. H … and her, gave me so fair an occasion to turn her away, at a minute's warning, that not to have done it would have been the wonder: s_hat he could neither disapprove it nor find in it the least reason to suspec_y original motive. What became of her afterwards, I know not; but generous a_r. H … was, he undoubtedly made her amends: though, I dare answer, that h_ept up no farther commerce with her of that sort; as his stooping to such _oarse morsel was only a sudden sally of lust, on seeing a wholesome-looking, buxom country-wench, and no more strange than hunger, or even a whimsica_ppetite's making a fling meal of neck-beef, for change of diet.
Had I consider'd this escapade of Mr. H … in no more than that light an_ontented myself with turning away the wench, I had thought and acted right; but, flush'd as I was with imaginary wrongs, I should have held Mr. H … t_ave been cheaply off, if I had not push'd my revenge farther, and repaid him, as exactly as I could for the soul of me, in the same coin.
Nor was this worthy act of justice long delay'd: I had it too much at heart.
Mr. H … had, about a fortnight before, taken into his service a tenant's son, just come out of the country, a very handsome young lad scarce turn'd o_ineteen, fresh as a rose, well shap'd and clever limb'd: in short, a ver_ood excuse for any woman's liking, even tho' revenge had been out of th_uestion; any woman, I say, who was disprejudic'd, and had wit and spiri_nough to prefer a point of pleasure to a point of pride.
Mr. H … had clap'd a livery upon him; and his chief employ was, after bein_hewn my lodgings, to bring and carry letters or messages between his maste_nd me; and as the situation of all kept ladies is not the fittest to inspir_espect, even to the meanest of mankind, and, perhaps, less of it from th_ost ignorant, I could not help observing that this lad, who was, I suppose, acquainted with my relation to his master by his fellow-servants, used to ey_e in that bashful confus'd way, more expressive, more moving and readie_atch'd at by our sex, than any other declarations whatever: my figure had, i_eems, struck him, and modest and innocent as he was, he did not himself kno_hat the pleasure he took in looking at me was love, or desire; but his eyes, naturally wanton, and now enflam'd with passion, spoke a great deal more tha_e durst have imagin'd they did. Hitherto, indeed, I had only taken notice o_he comeliness of the youth, but without the least design: my pride alon_ould have guarded me from a thought that way, had not Mr. H … '_ondescension with my maid, where there was not half the temptation in poin_f person, set me a dangerous example; but now I began to look on thi_tripling as every way a delicious instrument of my design'd retaliation upo_r. H … of an obligation for which I should have made a conscience to die i_is debt.
In order then to pave the way for the accomplishment of my scheme, for two o_hree times that the young fellow came to me with messages, I manag'd so, a_ithout affectation to have him admitted to my bed-side, or brought to me a_y toilet, where I was dressing; and by carelessly shewing or letting him see, as if without meaning or design, sometimes my bosom rather more bare than i_hould be; sometimes my hair, of which I had a very fine head, in the natura_low of it while combing; sometimes a neat leg, that had unfortunately slip_ts garter, which I made no scruple of tying before him, easily gave him th_mpressions favourable to my purpose, which I could perceive to sparkle in hi_yes, and glow in his cheeks: then certain slight squeezes by the hand, as _ook letters from him, did his business compleatly.
When I saw him thus mov'd, and fired for my purpose, I inflam'd him yet more, by asking him several leading questions, such as had he a mistress? … was sh_rettier than me? … could he love such a one as I was? … and the like; to al_hich the blushing simpleton answer'd to my wish, in a strain of perfec_ature, perfect undebauch'd innocence, but with all the awkwardness an_implicity of country-breeding.
When I thought I had sufficiently ripen'd him for the laudable point I had i_iew, one day that I expected him at a particular hour, I took care to hav_he coast clear for the reception I design'd him; and, as I laid it, he cam_o the dining-room door, tapped at it, and, on my bidding him come in, he di_o, and shut the door after him. I desir'd him, then, to bolt it on th_nside, pretending it would not otherwise keep shut.
I was then lying at length upon that very couch, the scene of Mr. H … '_olite joys, in an undress which was with all the art of negligence flowin_oose, and in a most tempting disorder: no stay, no hoop … no incumbranc_hatever. On the other hand, he stood at a little distance, that gave me _ull view of a fine featur'd, shapely, healthy country lad, breathing th_weets of fresh blooming youth; his hair, which was of a perfect shinin_lack, play'd to his face in natural side-curls, and was set out with a smar_uck-up behind; new buckskin breeches, that, clipping close, shew'd the shap_f a plump, well made thigh; white stockings, garter-lac'd livery, shoulde_not, altogether compos'd a figure in which the beauties of pure flesh an_lood appeared under no disgrace form the lowness of a dress, to which _ertain spruce neatness seems peculiarly fitted.
I bid him come towards me and give me his letter, at the same time throwin_own, carelessly, a book I had in my hands. He colour'd, and came within reac_f delivering me the letter, which he held out, awkwardly enough, for me t_ake, with his eyes riveted on my bosom, which was, through the design'_isorder of my handkerchief, sufficiently bare, and rather shaded than hid.
I, smiling in his face, took the letter, and immediately catching gently hol_f his shirt sleeve, drew him towards me, blushing, and almost trembling; fo_urely his extreme bashfulness, and utter inexperience, call'd for, at least, all the advances to encourage him: his body was now conveniently inclin'_owards me, and just softly chucking his smooth beardless chin, I asked him i_e was afraid of a lady? … , and, with that took, and carrying his hand to m_reasts, I prest it tenderly to them. They were now finely furnish'd, an_ais'd in flesh, so that, panting with desire, they rose and fell, in quic_eaves, under his touch: at this, the boy's eyes began to lighten with all th_ires of inflam'd nature, and his cheeks flush'd with a deep scarlet: tongue- tied with joy, rapture, and bashfulness, he could not speak, but then hi_ooks, his emotion, sufficiently satisfy'd me that my train had taken, an_hat I had no disappointment to fear.
My lips, which I threw in his way, so as that he could not escape kissin_hem, fix'd, fired, and embolden'd him: and now, glancing my eyes towards tha_art of his dress which cover'd the essential object of enjoyment, I plainl_iscover'd the swell and commotion there; and as I was now too far advanc'd t_top in so fair a way, and was indeed no longer able to contain myself, o_ait the slower progress of his maiden bashfulness (for such it seem'd, an_eally was), I stole my hand upon his thighs, down one of which I could bot_ee and feel a stiff hard body, confin'd by his breeches, that my finger_ould discover no end to. Curious then, and eager to unfold so alarming _ystery, playing, as it were, with his buttons, which were bursting ripe fro_he active force within, those of his waistband and fore-flap flew open at _ouch, when out IT started; and now, disengag'd from the shirt, I saw, wit_onder and surprise, what? not the play-thing of a boy, not the weapon of _an, but a maypole of so enormous a standard, that had proportions bee_bserv'd, it must have belong'd to a young giant. Its prodigious size made m_hrink again; yet I could not, without pleasure, behold, and even ventur'd t_eel, such a length, such a breadth of animated ivory! perfectly well turn'_nd fashion'd, the proud stiffness of which distended its skin, whose smoot_olish and velvet softness might vie with that of the most delicate of ou_ex, and whose exquisite whiteness was not a little set off by a sprout o_lack curling hair round the root, through the jetty sprigs of which the fai_kin shew'd as in a fine evening you may have remark'd the clear light ethe_hrought the branchwork of distant trees over-topping the summit of a hill: then the broad and blueish-casted incarnate of the head, and blue serpentine_f its veins, altogether compos'd the most striking assemblage of figure an_olours in nature. In short, it stood an object of terror and delight.
But what was yet more surprising, the owner of this natural curiosity, throug_he want of occasions in the strictness of his home-breeding, and the littl_ime he had been in town not having afforded him one, was hitherto an absolut_tranger, in practice at least, to the use of all that manhood he was so nobl_tock'd with; and it now fell to my lot ot stand his first trial of it, if _ould resolve to run the risks of its disproportion to that tender part of me, which such an oversiz'd machine was very fit to lay in ruins.
But it was now of the latest to deliberate; for, by this time, the youn_ellow, overheated with the present objects, and too high mettled to be longe_urb'd in by that modesty and awe which had hitherto restrain'd him, ventur'd, under the stronger impulse and instructive promptership of nature alone, t_lip his hands, trembling with eager impetuous desires, under my petticoats; and seeing, I suppose, nothing extremely severe in my looks to stop or das_im, he feels out, and seizes, gently, the center-spot of his ardours. O_hen! the fiery touch of his fingers determines me, and my fears melting awa_efore the glowing intolerable heat, my thighs disclose of themselves, an_ield all liberty to his hand: and now, a favourable movement giving m_etticoats a toss, the avenue lay too fair, too open to be miss'd. He is no_pon me: I had placed myself with a jet under him, as commodious and open a_ossible to his attempts, which were untoward enough, for his machine, meetin_ith no inlet, bore and batter'd stiffly against me in random pushes, no_bove, now below, now beside his point; till, burning with impatience from it_rritating touches, I guided gently, with my hand, this furious engine t_here my young novice was now to be taught his first lesson of pleasure. Thu_e nick'd, at length, the warm and insufficient orifice; but he was made t_ind no breach impracticable, and mine, tho' so often enter'd, was still fa_rom wide enough to take him easily in.
By my direction, however, the head of his unwieldy machine was so criticall_ointed that, feeling him foreright against the tender opening, a favourabl_otion from me met his timely thrust, by which the lips of it, strenuousl_ilated, gave way to his thus assisted impetuosity, so that we might both fee_hat he had gain'd a lodgement. Pursuing then his point, he soon, by violent, and, to me, most painful piercing thrusts, wedges himself at length so far in, as to be now tolerably secure of his entrance: here he stuck, and I now fel_uch a mixture of pleasure and pain, as there is no giving a definition of. _readed alike his splitting me farther up, or his withdrawing; I could no_ear either to keep or part with him. The sense of pain however prevailing, from his prodigious size and stiffness, acting upon me in those continue_apid thrusts, with which he furiously pursu'd his penetration, made me cr_ut gently: "Oh! my dear, you hurt me!" This was enough to check the tende_espectful boy even in his midcareer; and he immediately drew out the swee_ause of my complaint, whilst his eyes eloquently express'd, at once, hi_rief for hurting me, and his reluctance at dislodging from quarters of whic_he warmth and closeness had given him a gust of pleasure that he was no_esire-mad to satisfy, and yet too much a novice not to be afraid of m_ithholding his relief, on account ot the pain he had put me to.
But I was, myself, far from being pleas'd with his having too much regarded m_ender exclaims; for now, more and more fired with the object before me, as i_till stood with the fiercest erection, unbonnetted, and displaying its broa_ermilion head, I first gave the youth a re-encouraging kiss, which he repai_e with a fervour that seem'd at once to thank me, and bribe my farthe_ompliance; and soon replac'd myself in a posture to receive, at all risks, the renew'd invasion, which he did not delay an instant: for, being presentl_emounted, I once more felt the smooth hard gristle forcing an entrance, whic_e achiev'd rather easier than before. Pain'd, however, as I was, with hi_fforts of gaining a complete admission, which he was so regardful as t_anage by gentle degrees, I took care not to complain. In the meantime, th_oft strait passage gradually loosens, yields, and, stretch'd to its utmos_earing, by the stiff, thick, indriven engine, sensible, at once, to th_avishing pleasure of the feel and the pain of the distension, let him i_bout half way, when all the most nervous activity he now exerted, to furthe_is penetration, gain'd him not an inch of his purpose: for, whilst h_esitated there, the crisis of pleasure overtook him, and the clos_ompressure of the warm surrounding fold drew from him the extatic gush, eve_efore mine was ready to meet it, kept up by the pain I had endur'd in th_ourse of the engagement, from the insufferable size of his weapon, tho' i_as not as yet in above half its length.
I expected then, but without wishing it, that he would draw, but wa_leasantly disappointed: for he was not to be let off so. The well breath'_outh, hot-mettled, and flush with genial juices, was now fairly in for makin_e know my driver. As soon, then, as he had made a short pause, waking, as i_ere, out of the trance of pleasure (in which every sense seem'd lost for _hile, whilst, with his eyes shut, and short quick breathing, he had yielde_own his maiden tribute), he still kept his post, yet unsated with enjoyment, and solacing in these so new delights; till his stiffness, which had scarc_erceptibly remitted, being thoroughly recovered to him, who had not onc_nsheath'd, he proceeded afresh to cleave and open to himself an entire entr_nto me, which was not a little made easy to him by the balsamic injectio_ith which he had just plentifully moisten'd the whole internals of th_assage. Redoubling, then, the active energy of his thrusts, favoured by th_ervid appetite of my motions, the soft oiled wards can no longer stand s_ffectual a picklock, but yield, and open him an entrance. And now, wit_onspiring nature, and my industry, strong to aid him, he pierces, penetrates, and at length, winning his way inch by inch, gets entirely in, and finall_ighty thrust sheaths it up to the guard; on the information of which, fro_he close jointure of our bodies (insomuch that the hair on both side_erfectly interweav'd and incircl'd together), the eyes of the transporte_outh sparkl'd with more joyous fires, and all his looks and motion_cknowledged excess of pleasure, which I now began to share, for I felt him i_y very vitals! I was quite sick with delight! stir'd beyond bearing with it_urious agitations within me, and gorged and cramm'd, even to surfeit. Thus _ay gasping, panting under him, till his broken breathings, faltering accents, eyes twinkling with humid fires, lunges more furious, and an increase_tiffness, gave me to hail the approaches of the second period: it came … an_he sweet youth, overpower'd with the extasy, died away in my arms, melting i_ flood that shot in genial warmth into the innermost recesses of my body; every conduit of which, dedicated to that pleasure, was on flow to mix wit_t. Thus we continued for some instants, lost, breathless, senseless of ever_hing, and in every part but those favourite ones of nature, in which all tha_e enjoyed of life and sensation was now totally concentre'd.
When our mutual trance was a little over, and the young fellow had withdraw_hat delicious stretcher, with which he had most plentifully drowned al_houghts of revenge in the sense of actual pleasure, the widen'd wounde_assage refunded a stream of pearly liquids, which flowed down my thighs, mixed with streaks of blood, the marks of the ravage of that montrous machin_f his, which had now triumph'd over a kind of second maidenhead. I stole, however, my handkerchief to those parts, and wip'd them as dry as I could, whilst he was re-adjusting and buttoning up.
I made him now sit down by me, and as he had gather'd courage from suc_xtreme intimacy, he gave me an aftercourse of pleasure, in a natural burst o_ender gratitude and joy, at the new scenes of bliss I had opened to him: scenes positively new, as he had never before had the least acquaintance wit_hat mysterious mark, the cloven stamp of female distinction, tho' nobod_etter qualify'd than he to penetrate into its deepest recesses, or do i_obler justice. But when, by certain motions, certain unquietnesses of hi_ands, that wandered not without design, I found he languish'd for satisfyin_ curiosity, natural enough, to view and handle those parts which attract an_oncentre the warmest force of imagination, charmed as I was to have an_ccasion of obliging and humouring his young desires, I suffer'd him t_roceed as he pleased, without check or control, to the satisfaction of them.
Easily, then, reading in my eyes the full permission of myself to all hi_ishes, he scarce pleased himself more than me when, having insinuated hi_and under my petticoat and shift, he presently removed those bars to th_ight by slyly lifting them upwards, under favour of a thousand kisses, whic_e thought, perhaps, necessary to divert my attention from what he was about.
All my drapery being now roll'd up to my waist, I threw myself into such _osture upon the couch, as gave up to him, in full view, the whole region o_elight, and all the luxurious landscape round it. The transported yout_evour'd every thing with his eyes, and try'd, with his fingers, to lay mor_pen to his sight the secrets of that dark and delicious deep: he opens th_olding lips, the softness of which, yielding entry to any thing of a har_ody, close round it, and oppose the sight: and feeling further, meets with, and wonders at, a soft fleshy excrescence, which, limber and relaxed after th_ate enjoyment, now grew, under the touch and examination of his fier_ingers, more and more stiff and considerable, till the titillating ardours o_hat so sensible part made me sigh, as if he had hurt me; on which he withdre_is curious probing fingers, asking me pardon, as it were, in a kiss tha_ather increased the flame there.
Novelty ever makes the strongest impressions, and in pleasures, especially; n_onder, then, that he was swallowed up in raptures of admiration of things s_nteresting by their nature, and now seen and handled for the first time. O_y part, I was richly overpaid for the pleasure I gave him, in that o_xamining the power of those objects thus abandon'd to him, naked and free t_is loosest wish, over the artless, natural stripling: his eyes streamin_ire, his cheeks glowing with a florid red, his fervid frequent sighs, whils_is hands convulsively squeez'd, opened, pressed together again the lips an_ides of that deep flesh wound, or gently twitched the overgrowing moss; an_ll proclaimed the excess, the riot of joys, in having his wantonness thu_umour'd. But he did not long abuse my patience, for the objects before hi_ad now put him by all his, and, coming out with that formidable machine o_is, he lets the fury loose, and pointing it directly to the pouting-lip_outh, that bid him sweet defiance in dumb-shew, squeezes in the head, and, driving with refreshed rage, breaks in, and plugs up the whole passage of tha_oft pleasure-conduit, where he makes all shake again, and put, once more, al_ithin me into such an uproar, as nothing could still but a fresh inundatio_rom the very engine of those flames, as well as from all the springs wit_hich nature floats that reservoir of joy, when risen to its flood-mark.
I was now so bruised, so batter'd, so spent with this over-match, that I coul_ardly stir, or raise myself, but lay palpitating, till the ferment of m_ense subsiding by degrees, and the hour striking at which I was oblig'd t_ispatch my young man, I tenderly advised him of the necessity there was fo_arting; which I felt as much displeasure at as he could do, who seeme_agerly disposed to keep the field, and to enter on a fresh action. But th_anger was too great, and after some hearty kisses of leave, an_ecommendations of secrecy and discretion, I forc'd myself to send him away, not without assurances of seeing him again, to the same purpose, as soon a_ossible, and thrust a guinea into his hands: not more, lest, being too flus_f money, a suspicion or discovery might arise from thence, having every thin_o fear from the dangerous indiscretion of that age in which young fellow_ould be too irresistible, too charming, if we had not that terrible fault t_uard against.
Giddy and intoxicated as I was with such satiating draughts of pleasure, _till lay on the couch, supinely stretched out, in a delicious languo_iffus'd over all my limbs, hugging myself for being thus revenged to m_eart's content, and that in a manner so precisely alike, and on the identica_pot in which I had received the supposed injury. No reflections on th_onsequences ever once perplex'd me, nor did I make myself one single reproac_or having, by this step, completely entered myself of a profession mor_ecry'd than disused. I should have held it ingratitude to the pleasure I ha_eceived to have repented of it; and since I was now over the bar, I thought, by plunging over head and ears into the stream I was hurried away by, to drow_ll sense of shame or reflection.
Whilst I was thus making these laudable dispositions, and whispering to mysel_ kind of tacit vow of incontinency, enters Mr. H … The consciousness of wha_ had been doing deepen'd yet the glowing of my cheeks, flushed with th_armth of the late action, which, joined to the piquant air of my dishabille, drew from Mr. H … a compliment on my looks, which he was proceeding to bac_he sincerity of with proofs, and that with so brisk an action as made m_remble for fear of a discovery from the condition of those parts were left i_rom their late severe handling: the orifice dilated and inflamed, the lip_wollen with their uncommon distension, the ringlets press down, crushed an_ncurl'd with the over-flowing moisture that had wet every thing round it; i_hort, the different feel and state of things would hardly have passed upo_ne of Mr. H … 's nicety and experience unaccounted for but by the real cause.
But here the woman saved me: I pretended a violent disorder of my head, and _everish heat, that indisposed me too much to receive his embraces. He gave i_o this, and good-naturedly desisted. Soon after, an old lady coming in made _hird, very a-propos for the confusion I was in, and Mr. H … , after biddin_e take care of myself, and recommending me to my repose, left me much at eas_nd reliev'd by his absence.
In the close of the evening, I took care to have prepar'd for me a warm bat_f aromatick and sweet herbs; in which having fully laved and solaced myself, I came out voluptuously refresh'd in body and spirit.
The next morning, waking pretty early, after a night's perfect rest an_omposure, it was not without some dread and uneasiness that I thought of wha_nnovation that tender, soft system of mine might have sustained from th_hock of a machine so sized for its destruction.
Struck with this apprehension, I scarce dared to carry my hand thither, t_nform myself of the state and posture of things.
But I was soon agreeably cur'd of my fears.
The silky hair that covered round the borders, now smooth'd and re-pruned, ha_esumed its wonted curl and trimness; the fleshy pouting lips that had stoo_he brunt of the engagement, were no longer swollen or moisture-drenched; an_either they, nor the passage into which they opened, that suffered so great _ilatation, betray'd any the least alteration, outward or inwardly, to th_ost curious research, notwithstanding also the laxity that naturally follow_he warm bath.
This continuation of that grateful stricture which is in us, to the men, th_ery jet of their pleasure, I ow'd, it seems, to a happy habit of body, juicy, plump and furnished towards the texture of those parts, with a fullness o_oft springy flesh, that yielding sufficiently, as it does, to almost an_istension soon recovers itself so as to retighten that strict compression o_ts mantlings and folds, which form the sides of the passage, wherewith it s_enderly embraces and closely clips any foreign body introduc'd into it, suc_s my exploring finger then was.
Finding then every thing in due tone and order, I remember'd my fears, only t_ake a jest of them to myself. and now, palpably mistress of nay size of man, and triumphing in my double achievement of pleasure and revenge, I abandon'_yself entirely to the ideas of all the delight I had swam in. I la_tretching out, glowingly alive all over, and tossing with burning impatienc_or the renewal of joys that had sinned but in a sweet excess; now did I loos_y longing, for about ten in the morning, according to expectation, Will, m_ew humble sweetheart, came with a message from his master, Mr. H … , to kno_ow I did. I had taken care to send my maid on an errand into the city, that _as sure would take up time enough; and, from the people of the house, I ha_othing to fear, as they were plain good sorts of folks, and wise enough t_ind no more other people's business than they could well help.
All dispositions then made, not forgetting that of lying in bed to receiv_im, when he was entered the door of my bed-chamber, a latch, that I governe_y a wire, descended and secur'd it.
I could not but observe that my young minion was as much spruced out as coul_e expected from one in his condition: a desire of pleasing that could not b_ndifferent to me, since it prov'd that I pleased him; which, I assure you, was now a point I was not above having in view.
His hair trimly dressed, clean linen, and, above all, a hale, ruddy, wholesom_ountry look, made him out as pretty a piece of woman's meat as you could see, and I should have thought nay one much out of taste that could not have made _earty meal of such a morsel as nature seemed to have design'd for the highes_iet of pleasure.