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December 3rd.

  • It is not possible that the marriage should take place; it is only idle
  • gossip. What does it signify if he is a chamberlain! That is only a dignity,
  • not a substantial thing which one can see or handle. His chamberlain's office
  • will not procure him a third eye in his forehead. Neither is his nose made of
  • gold; it is just like mine or anyone else's nose. He does not eat and cough,
  • but smells and sneezes with it. I should like to get to the bottom of the
  • mystery—whence do all these distinctions come? Why am I only a titular
  • councillor?
  • Perhaps I am really a count or a general, and only appear to be a titular
  • councillor. Perhaps I don't even know who and what I am. How many cases there
  • are in history of a simple gentleman, or even a burgher or peasant, suddenly
  • turning out to be a great lord or baron? Well, suppose that I appear suddenly
  • in a general's uniform, on the right shoulder an epaulette, on the left an
  • epaulette, and a blue sash across my breast, what sort of a tune would my
  • beloved sing then? What would her papa, our director, say? Oh, he is
  • ambitious! He is a freemason, certainly a freemason; however much he may
  • conceal it, I have found it out. When he gives anyone his hand, he only
  • reaches out two fingers. Well, could not I this minute be nominated a general
  • or a superintendent? I should like to know why I am a titular councillor—why
  • just that, and nothing more?