Chapter 7 I Miss Him(Leo's Pov)

• I haven't seen Storm or heard from him in a couple weeks. I only heard from him once, when he claimed he was traveling to Germany. I checked my phone every now and then to see if he would text or contact me. There was, however, nothing. I know I'm acting like a lover to him, but, to him I'm not his lover but his fuck buddy. But I miss him terribly.
• While I was chewing the food in my mouth, my secretary called me, 'Sir.' I stared at him and motioned for him to speak anything he wanted to say.
• 'Sir, I discovered that Mr Storm is still in Germany with your father, as are other shareholders.' Russell elaborated.
• 'I see, what were they talking about that drove them to Germany?' I inquired. 'I had no idea, sir,' He shook his head and said.
• 'You are free to leave.' I motioned for him to leave with my hand. 'Yes, sir?' He exited through the door and shut it. Why is Storm continually causing me to be concerned about him? I grabbed my phone and phoned his number once more. Because it was still not working, I got up from my chair and walked to my house's balcony. I pulled out a cigarette and a lighter and lighted it. When I want to avoid thinking about Storm, I do this all the time. It is beneficial, but not always.
• Being apart from Storm makes me lonely, and I miss him terribly.
• I've always been in love with Storm, and I've never loved anyone else. Not even a lady. Since I was a child, I couldn't stop thinking about Storm. I discovered I was gay and kept it a secret from Storm, and I was in love with him. I wanted to disclose my feelings to him at the age of 19, to tell him how I felt about him. I know the former Storm will be pleased with me for falling in love with him and will graciously reject me, encouraging me to find someone else who will love me. But this Storm will push me away from him now, not because I'm homosexual, but because I love him.
• Storm had given up on love a long time ago. I've noticed that he no longer talks about love or smiles again.
• I'm not sure why he stopped believing in them, but when I tried to ask him one day. He hit me and urged me not to question why he had lost faith in love. But the day I almost told him I loved him was the day I almost made a fatal error in my life.
• FLASHBACK.
• As I walked into the large garden, I noticed Storm resting on the grass. Both of his hands are laying rearward on the grass, and he has folded his left leg beneath his right leg to remain seated. His white hair was blowing in the breeze, and he was looking very dashing. He had recently started going to the gym and had gained muscle all over his body, yet he was now skinny. The fat, cute boy was no longer who he used to be. And he got a tattoo on his left arm, as well as pierced his nose and inserted a small pin. He's now very attractive and quite hot.
• 'Will you stop admiring me and come sit down,' Storm asked, not even looking back to see whether I was still standing here. How did he even know, that I was here. Man, he's a genius!
• I approached him and sat down alongside him, while this theme played in the background. I was reminded of this soundtrack. Berserk is an anime, and the soundtrack is quite dramatic and sorrowful. We've watched this anime before, around three or four years ago. Is he upset or something since he's playing this?
• He inquired seemingly out of nowhere. Storm asked, still looking up, 'What do you think of this soundtrack?'
• 'It's sad, emotional, and it's as if someone or something precious to him or her has died.' I explained everything to him.
• 'Do you think Griffith liked Guts?' he inquired.
• 'I believe he loved him but not romantically?' I shook my head.
• 'What was the reason for Guts' departure from Griffith?' he inquired.
• 'I...I believe he left because he wanted Griffith to value him and be his buddy. But he misunderstood him and abandoned Griffith, despite Griffith pleading with Guts not to leave. Griffith, on the other hand, was distraught, and his future was ruined.' I explained, that the film was, however, a sad one. It was fascinating, but I believe Guts should have spent more time with him asked questions before abandoning him. But I don't blame him; he only wanted to be someone special for Griffith, and Griffith was climbing the ranks every day after the King named him the best warrior in the kingdom. I don't blame him for wanting to be someone special to Griffith, but he messed up.
• 'I despise Guts so much?' He stated, unexpectedly. I thought, he loved Gus or maybe Guts more than Griffith. Not sure, about the name anymore.
• 'I'm not sure if I should despise him, but I also don't blame him.' I yawned and shrugged.
• 'Do you believe in love, Leo?' he asked, staring at me with daggers. I was terrified because I'd never seen him like this before. His eyes were so black that it appeared as though he had lost hope in life. The way he looked at me was terrifying. It seemed as if he had lost the light in his eyes.
• 'No, I don't believe...in...them,' I said those things to him stutteringly. What's the matter with me, why did I say that, why didn't I come here to tell him how I felt about him? Why was I so ready to deny it?'
• If you believe in them, you are an idiot, and you will never speak to me again.' He said and stood up from where he sat down.
• 'Stop, is there anything the matter?' Why do you despise love so much, and I've seen that you've changed so much these days.' Concernedly, I said. I was concerned about him. His actions, these past few days says it all.
• 'Shut up,' he demanded.
• 'Listen, Storm. 'I know you are...' That's when I felt a hand punch me across the face.
• END OF FLASHBACK.
• I've never asked him that question or expressed love to him again since. We were extremely close, but it's not all he tells me, but the day he promised to tell me his secret was the day he transformed. After a few days, he was accepted into a school and left without notifying me.
• I felt horrible when he did that, but I shrugged it off and called to see how school was going for him. He, on the other hand, disregarded me and didn't even respond to my texts. When I called him, he was always harsh in his response. But I still love him.
• Someone stroked my shoulders, and when I turned around, it was Lily. I shifted my gaze away from her and continued smoking, this being the fourth stick anyways.
• 'Is there anything bothering you?' she inquired, resting her hand on my shoulder.
• 'Nothing bothers me?' I replied and I was still smoking.
• 'This is your fourth cigarette, and you're smoking it right now.' You've been drowsy since the morning, constantly checking your phone and the food you've been consuming. You didn't even finish it, and you're constantly late, either because you're intoxicated or because you're in a foul attitude. And you said you have nothing bothering you?' She continued to look at my face as she explained.
• 'There's nothing bothering me. I'm just thinking about work.' I responded by taking the fifth one and lighting it again. I know I lied to her. But she doesn't have to know what I'm thinking; it wouldn't be good if she did.
• 'Are you sure?' Lily inquired once more. 'I am certain,' I said.
• 'You remembered the day Eva was heartbroken,' she said. She stated.
• I burst out laughing as I remembered that day. She hasn't spoken to me since. Storm, on the other hand, has been calling her. Wait a minute, I could call her and see whether Storm has spoken to her. 'Give me a minute, Lily.' I cut her off as she was about to speak with me, got my phone from my pocket, and dialed Eva's number right away. Before she picked up the phone, it rang three times.
• 'Hey, how are you?' I replied, knowing she'd still be angry at me, and I'm sure she'd nag me all day because of what I did.
• 'What is it?' she demanded angrily.
• Calm down, I'm not here to fight,' I told her.
• 'Whatever,' she responded, hissing.
• I'm aware that if I don't apologize soon, it will be too late if she refuses to to listen to me or answer my questions.
• 'OK, I'm sorry for what I did to you,' I explained.
• 'And,' she added.
• 'And I apologize for insulting you about guys.'
• I had to apologize, and I'm not sure if I did anything wrong or not.
• All that matters is that Storm is mentioned.
• 'OK, apology accepted?' she exclaimed cheerfully.
• 'Thank you for accepting it,' I said. 'We're close, but we fight over trivial matters, not over me, but her.'
• 'You're really welcome,' she added.
• 'Okay, Eva, have you heard from Storm?' I inquired, hoping.
• 'I've heard from him?' She responded.
• 'What happened, what did he say?' I instantly inquired.
• 'He said he's heading to France in a few hours,' she responded.
• 'What time is his flight?'
• 'I believe it is 8 or 9 p.m. 'I'm not sure.'
• 'Did he tell you what time it is?'
• 'No, he didn't tell me anything.'
• 'I also heard he's getting married,' Eva exclaimed.
• 'What!!!! I shouted.
• 'Why did you react like that, it's true. He's getting married, and father has even arranged a woman for him to marry.' She went on to explain.
• At the time, I felt frail. It was as if all of my strength had been taken from me. Storm is getting married, and he didn't inform me. When and how did this occur? Father has already found someone for him.
• 'That's what I've been meaning to tell you for the past few weeks, but I haven't had the chance, and you've been so busy?' Lily stated.
• 'Umm...'
• I'll call you later, Eva,' I said as I hung up the phone and sat down on the floor. Storm is getting married, which still surprises me, but there's no way he'll want to marry right now. Storm will not want to marry because he is gay, and I know he enjoys doing what he wants. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore; I can't read him, and it's often difficult to tell what's on Storm's mind or what he's actually thinking. After Eva departed that day, I urged Lily to go home since I was going to visit her and I had a lot of work to do with Storm. We both went home after she departed. We both had sex all day, and he never mentioned marriage to me. Why did he withhold that information from me? To be honest, there are times when I just want to abandon Storm and move on. But I can't; it's not working for me, and even having a girlfriend isn't helping. All I can think about is Storm, and I keep telling myself that. Will I have gotten over him if I hadn't started having sex with Storm? Look for another guy that adores and desires to be with me. Someone who will crave me and wait at home for me every day, telling me how much he misses me and how he can't live without me. I want to know that I am loved and needed by someone. Storm, on the other hand, would not be that type of guy in my opinion. He's not going to do it.
• 'Why are you so depressed? You should be happy that he's getting married,' she said as she sat down beside me. 'Besides, what I wanted to talk to you about a couple of weeks ago was your father saying it's time we got married and we've been dating for too long?' She uttered those with a smile on her face.
• 'I'm not ready to get married,' I said flatly.
• 'Is there anything wrong?' She inquired, concerned.
• 'There's nothing wrong with me; I'm simply not ready to marry yet.' I continued to say.
• When I glanced at her, she grimaced and said, 'Just not ready.' Because we've been together for three or four years. I'm not sure, but we've known each other for a long time and it's past time for us to get married. I'd like to have children from you, be the father of my children, and we raised our children happily together...' I had to interrupt her. 'As well as growing old together. That's exactly what you intended to say. Lily, I'm not ready to marry, and that's the end of it?' I rose from the floor and began walking into my house, but she followed.
• 'Leo,' she yelled my name, like she always does when she wants to talk to me seriously.
• 'What's the matter?' What's going on, Leo? Why are you always avoiding me or fleeing whenever I bring up the subject of marriage? You don't love me at all. Is it not worth it for me to be your wife?' She yelled, and when I looked back, I saw tears streaming down her cheeks. That surprised me; I didn't expect that from her.
• 'Or is there...someone ...else I don't... know... about?' Is there something you're keeping from me?' She asked, staring at me.
• Yes, I wanted to say. I'm gay, Lily, and the person I'm in love with is a man.
• But I couldn't say that to her because I didn't know what else to say. It felt as if the words I wanted to say had been struck on my tongue. I'm hurting her; think if she discovers that the guy she's been with for years, whom she refers to as her partner, is gay.
• 'We'll talk about it later,' I murmured as I opened the door and went out, leaving Lily standing there with tears streaming down her face.