Chapter 5

• My eyes can't blink for an instant, I can even say that my body has frozen.
• “I'll tell you the details,” he whispers again snapping me out of my disbelief, because I've known him for four years, and I've never heard anything like this. But now that he's addressing me, “I need you to be... my girlfriend now.”
• What? I can't believe it, my mind starts to think of a thousand and one scenarios.
• I want to know everything, I want to know why he wants to lie, I want to know what is driving him to do what he is doing and I want to know if he has feelings for her, I mainly want to know that.
• “You don't answer...” she speaks again as if making an alarming request “I need you, Sam, I really promise to tell you everything.”
• I'm a little shocked, that's all, I never imagined that something would make you lose your balance, or someone, I think.
• “Listen, don't...”
• “Angelo...” A woman's voice interrupts his words, or whatever he was going to tell me, that voice belongs to the aforementioned woman. So I take a deep breath and turn in her direction.
• She has her eyes fixed on him, maybe as nervous as I am, then I notice that she tries to utter some words, but nothing comes out of her mouth. She literally looks like shit. I squeeze Angelo's hand, unable to bear the tension of the moment.
• “Isabella, how are you?” he finally asks next to me, while I am not able to see his expression, rather I don't want to see it, I want to be blind to this event.
• “I didn't think I would see you here... nobody told me you were coming, I wanted to contact you, but it was in vain.”
• “I didn't know you were coming, that's why I didn't confirm,” he answered lightly.
• He's lying, Angelo planned this.
• He planned to see her here, for her to see him, he planned from the beginning for me to come with him and be part of whatever is going on.
• What for? To make her jealous? To make her feel bad? My God! What was I getting myself into?
• “Of course, I understand... I've wanted to talk to you, but...”
• “Isabella, in case you haven't noticed, this is Samantha,” he speaks again with certainty, cutting off her idea again. Then he points smugly in my direction; his tone is curt, perhaps I could swear it's appropriately coarse. “My girlfriend...”
• I watch as the girl's pretty face pales again.
• I feel some shame and pity because I know that Angelo is humiliating her in front of me, I know him, I know him so well that I know he is putting his efforts to harm her and he is using me for his purpose.
• “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, it's just that I was a bit incredulous to see you Angelo.” says the nervous woman, giving me a conciliatory look.
• “A pleasure Isabella, Samantha White,” extending my hand towards her.
• Angelo presses hard on my wrist, but I don't give up my intention.
• “Likewise Samantha, Isabella Abramovich,” I don't fail to notice how she begins to detail my every gesture.
• Abramovich, I've heard that last name more than once, by my count Angelo has done business with them, there's even partnership in the company, but I didn't know of Isabella's existence, let alone that she was his ex-fiancée.
• By default, they were going to get married. And apparently, she mattered to him, however, because of what is happening and his behavior, he literally still cares, and that makes him feel disappointed.
• And I don't know why the subject is starting to eat me up inside.
• Isabella is pretty with a somewhat thin build, in her look and gestures I feel some antipathy, which of course are directed towards me, and since she had the same expression as Angelo, no doubt she must also feel something for him.
• “If you've detailed her enough, let's go,” Angelo says in an accusatory tone towards the woman.
• He entwines his hand in mine and glues my body to his.
• This is going to kill me.
• “Of course, I won't keep you any longer,” Isabella announces and Angelo doesn't even flinch, so we start walking to another part of the room.
• Dinner passes without any other inconvenience, but I could never be as calm. The woman's gaze followed us throughout the evening, and Angelo pretended to be very happy at my side.
• We have more than 10 minutes in the car in total silence, Angelo keeps driving and by the direction he's headed, we're on our way to my house.
• I have not dared to say anything, I feel it too tense. I want to know everything, I want to understand its cause, but above all I need to calm my nerves and calm the jumble of emotions that threaten to come out of my chest.
• I don't know if after what he's going to tell me I'll be able to calm down, I don't know if after he tells me things, I'll turn the page.
• And that terrifies me.
• After a few more minutes, we finally arrive at the parking lot, then he turns off the engine and turns to me.
• I need to breathe, breathe to start digesting what he's going to tell me next, I need to be calm, and I need to not take anything to heart. I can't take this personally, it's none of my business and I don't want to get involved either....
• Angelo sighs heavily, trying to find the right words...
• “Ten years ago I met her, we were at a party at the university when I saw her.” several knots form in my stomach and my mind repeats: ten years? For God's sake! “A common partner introduced us and that's how our relationship began, a pretty intense relationship I must confess, Isabella was quite jealous and possessive.”
• “I understand,” I say because I need to get out the compressed air I've been carrying in my lungs since what happened. Part of me wants to listen, but another part of me wants to get out of the car and forget about it forever.
• “Sam... I really wanted to formalize my relationship when we had been dating for 4 years; we are the same age, we had already graduated together, so I didn't think twice, I talked to dad and he agreed to have a ceremony to formalize the engagement. But, my mother was reluctant in my relationship, she never quite loved Isabella.”
• “At least” I thought.
• “So what happened? Why did you break up? What happened?” I asked hurriedly.
• “We got engaged on my twenty-fifth birthday, everything was going great until a month later, she came crying to my house, a little desperate, and scared, her tone becomes biting, loaded with resentment. Telling me that we rushed into making decisions, that she didn't want a family yet, that she wanted to realize many dreams and goals, but that she still wanted to be with me; she said something like, I need to get out of this commitment, let's be like before.”
• His gaze was lost and a smile of sarcasm peeked on his face.
• “Of course I got upset and we fought like never before. I stormed out of my own house and left her there, but I did it because I didn't want to make any mistakes in my moment of anger; while driving aimlessly I called my friend Steven, met up with him and went to his apartment, we drank like never before and I didn't turn on my cell phone for two whole days.”
• He took a deep breath and continued with the story.
• “When I came back to reality, Isabella had made a publication with a friend of ours from "The Times" press where she talked several private things about our relationship, but that didn't matter so much to me until my parents called me; that really pissed me the fuck off... she told them terrible things, she even said that she was sure that he had cheated on her several times, that he was a coward and that he wasn't going to show his face.”
• Angelo looks like someone who expels a poison, one that consumed him; I can see how he breathes a little short when he speaks, but what is making me most uncomfortable is that Angelo still feels something for her.
• Understanding that now makes me feel small, like I'm looking at someone else in front of me.
• “You... what did you do?” I ask stealthily.
• “I didn't do anything...”
• “What? How? Why?”
• “Sam...” He says a little irritated. “When I tell you that I was about to marry her, it's because I was in love, I wouldn't have hurt her in any way, but my disappointment and anger didn't let me talk to her anymore.”
• Was he in love? Or is he still in love?
• “So there was no closure between you?” I ask hurriedly.
• “Nothing... I didn't seek her out, nor did I agree to talk to her ever again,” he lifts his gaze to me again. “I left for a few months in New York and returned to London seven months later to continue running the company.”
• So why did you plan this day? Did you want to see her? Did you want to be jealous her, by faking a girlfriend? Why are you doing this, do you love her?
• “Why did you go to that event knowing she was there?” I ask and at the same time regret it.
• “I don't want to keep running away from the inevitable.”
• And that was it, at this moment a bucket of ice water fell on me, feeling a pang of jealousy that went through my whole being.
• No, no, no, no, it can't be!
• Get out of the car, make an excuse, don't be part of this!
• “Angelo.”I manage to pronounce, I feel my lower lip trembling. “The best thing to do is to show your face and assume whatever happens.”
• What? I'm encouraging him to look for her I can't believe it!
• “I told you all this because I trust you.”
• “Thank you,” I answer, looking in another direction, because right now I don't have the strength to hold his gaze.
• Anne was right, I interfered more than I should have, I don't know what I might feel for him, I don't know if this feeling is more of an impression than anything else, the only thing I know is that from now on I will try to set limits with respect to Angelo and my life.
• “Steven is getting married in two weeks,” he declares again and I turn in his direction.
• “Steven?! The womanizer, Steven?” I ask more as a joke.
• “Hey, don't be hard on poor Steven.”
• “Are you serious? Are we talking about the same Steven?”
• “The same one you know, give him a vote of confidence... for me,” the funny part is immediately cut off as I feel his hand on mine, encouraging me to look at him.
• He must feel my skin freeze because that's how I feel now.
• “And don't ask me what the fuck that is because I don't know,” after saying what he said, he uttered a laugh that literally makes me let go of the tension in my shoulders.
• “Some people do it, in some cases it's because of religion or family custom,” I say without further ado.
• “That's why I planned tonight because I will be the best man at this wedding and Isabella will be the bridesmaid....”
• I have an hour looking at the ceiling of the room, and I can't fall asleep, not when my mind makes a lot of scenarios; I need to sleep, I want to rest, tomorrow I will spend my Sunday studying for my final exams and I want to have my mind focused on that.
• I don't want to think about anything else.
• Thank God Anne was asleep when I arrived, I don't want to talk to anyone about what happened, I also wouldn't want to utter out loud the part where I accepted that offer to help Angelo in this stupid thing he is doing.
• I didn't manage to ask him in a clear way what his motives were, I couldn't, although I would be a fool if I didn't think that he wants to win Isabella back.
• Because ever since I got out of that car I regret every second of being so stupid....