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Chapter 4

  • The uneasiness begins to sink into my body, right now I feel like someone is drowning.
  • It's a nightmare... I'm in a nightmare, again.
  • “Calm down.” she smiles at me and I scream in despair, he's going to kill her!
  • Noooooo! no mom, stay here, stay with me!!!
  • A constant repetitive vibration causes me to wake up, I sit up suddenly sweating until I see that the shirt I'm wearing is stuck to my chest.
  • “Shit!” I pronounce a little upset.
  • Another nightmare
  • I look for my cell phone between the sheets and quickly grab it without reading who it is.
  • “Yes?”
  • “I can't believe you're getting up until now!” says Angelo almost in a shout.
  • I quickly look at the time and it's eleven in the morning.
  • It can't be, so I clear my throat as I squeeze my eyes shut.
  • “It's Saturday, I have the right,” I reply lazily, “How was dinner?”
  • “As usual, you know... I was calling last night, and you never answered,” he speaks to me in a curt manner, as if I should make excuses for him.
  • “Yes, I left my cell phone, by the way, I have my date from last night here next to me, so I don't have much time,” she laughs as a joke.
  • “Stop being silly Sam, I'm calling you because I need you to accompany me to an event today.” I noticed a certain concern in his tone.
  • “Is everything all right?” she asked cautiously.
  • “Yes .... You should go with something formal, you know, I'll pick you up at seven o'clock at night, don't be late, you know I hate waiting.” that way he hangs up the call without letting me say anything.
  • Ok bye. And I go back to sleep.
  • At six o'clock in the evening I take a shower, Anne will help me with my hair, I want to tie it up because I have long hair, although she insists on leaving it down, and I have no choice but to roll my eyes. I put on a long cream colored Grecian style dress, with a slit in the right leg and a low cut back, but demure, I put on my golden sandals with pointed toe heels and I'm ready.
  • I look in the mirror touching up my make-up, putting on a gold bracelet that my mother gave me, while I see the clock that says six fifty in the afternoon, and for something strange my pulse accelerates in a brutal way.
  • “Sam,” Anne says and I turn in her direction. She is leaning out of the window. “I think your prince is already downstairs.”
  • A warm shiver runs down my back.
  • “It's just work, Anne,” I snort, I think I'll stop making excuses every time she makes up a story about me and Angelo.
  • I say goodbye to her, take my flat wallet and walk down to the parking lot, and as I arrive, I see Angelo get out of his Maserati car in a gallant manner.
  • In a way I have always admired that man, Angelo is... so incredible in his person, an honest man and although no one would believe it, he is very kind, and a very angry man. I don't know how after my description, he also manages to look stunning, fucking handsome in that suit that looks unreal. So I have no choice but to take a breath of air while he addresses me....
  • My breathing is ragged, but I try to control it and pretend tonight is just another routine day.
  • The only thing I can't hide is the burning sensation in my right hand, because Angelo inadvertently grabbed it to lead me to the car; I can't bend it, I hold it steady while my mind processes why he made that contact with me.
  • We arrive in fifteen minutes at the hotel where there might be a convention; Angelo hasn't explained very well what we are doing here, but most of the time it is to meet investors and arrange business. The Ankarali are invited everywhere all the time, because money calls money.
  • He gets out of the car, hands the keys to the ballet parking lot and heads to open my door. He takes my hand and I push myself to get out, but I see that he doesn't give me room to move, so when I stand in front of him I am completely glued to his body.
  • “Sam...” he pronounces in a heavy tone, and I look up to see his expression.
  • It is one of discomfort, of heaviness, of confusion, I don't really understand what's going on.
  • “I need you to be able to trust me tonight,” he says in a worried tone, “I will explain everything, I promise, just trust me.”
  • I want to ask many things, besides the feeling of insecurity begins to torment me, however, I just nod placing my hand on his arm, and in this way we begin to enter the hotel.
  • The reception is quite pleasant, there are several tables in circles and renowned people, I know because working with Angelo I have been able to meet several of them.
  • We are seated with Mr. Bremer and Mr. and Mrs. Kennan; a young newlywed couple, friends of Angelo's, businessmen of course.
  • “How's it going Samantha?” asks Mr. Bremer with a cigar between his fingers.
  • “I'm very well, thank you! And you?” I ask in a carefree tone.
  • “I'm very well, my dear, I'm getting better every day,” he says with a sincere smile on his face, while I return the gesture.
  • “I imagine you must be very excited,” Natalia Kennan now speaks from her corner. “Soon you'll be a finance professional with lots of offers at the door. You've really done well!”
  • “Thank you so much, really....”
  • “She doesn't need any other offers, Natalia.” Angelo cuts her off a bit disrespectfully. “Samantha has secured her position in Ankarali companies, so she doesn't have to look for any other offers.”
  • What!!!
  • These are things that annoy me about “Mister Olafo,” I always compared him to this cartoon character because of his permanent tantrums and his moods so changeable, but of course only me and my subconscious know that I call him that.
  • “I'm sorry, Angelo, I didn't mean to tell Samantha to leave your company, I was just complimenting her work, besides, who would leave an emporium like yours?” Natalia answers in a conciliatory tone.
  • “Don't listen, Natalia.” I smiled apologetically. “In any case, you can send me a proposal and I will gladly think about it.”
  • Natalia laughs subtly, but her face shows her desire to burst into laughter, and I wink at her accordingly.
  • I know I'll get a complaint from Mister Olafo, but I'm going to try to enjoy the night.
  • “I love it when you contradict me in everything,” his voice imparts itself in my whole body, I immediately notice his closeness. I separate a little just to see that his face is of pure anger and that he is being sarcastic. “Give us your permission,” he says again to get up from the table, offering me his hand.
  • I stand up slowly, letting him direct me to where he wants to go, but, as soon as I move to his side he lets go of my hand.
  • We are walking through the room when, on a small platform, a man dressed in white mentions Angelo and everyone begins to applaud. I notice there is a huge banner talking about a charity center for malnourished children, and my heart shrinks.
  • “Come...” he says pulling me to his side by grabbing my waist.
  • He is taking me with him to the center of the platform, I start to feel stage fright, I don't want to go there, I don't want to be the center of people's attention. I don't want to.
  • “Angelo, please don't!” I say terrified out of pure defense. “People... I don't want to...”
  • “I understand,” he says immediately releasing me, following his path to where the man in white is encouraging him to climb up.
  • What a mess I am, no matter how much time goes by I'm still the same, with a lot of shit in my head, with a lot of insecurities, in these moments is when I don't give a fuck about that beauty they say I have, because I can't fight this thing that torments me, that marks me every fucking day.
  • I make the same gesture I usually do when I get overwhelmed in this way, I run my fingers over the scar on my wrist.
  • Angelo takes the place and gives a few words of thanks with a smile on his lips starting his speech.
  • I am ashamed with him, he needed my support and I refused to help him, but I want to make it up to him, I want to explain to him that I am panicking about people seeing me, about gossip, that I want to go unnoticed, that I am terrified to stand in front of many people.
  • I want him to understand me, I have this need.
  • When he finishes his speech he gives the presenter a hug, but contrary to my thoughts, his body goes somewhere else and not towards me.
  • He is upset and I am to blame.
  • Move, I command myself.
  • With a different conviction I walk in his direction; from another point of view it could look as if he is running away from me and I am going after him.
  • I push away all thoughts of insecurity and reach for his hand.
  • It's a gesture I shouldn't take lightly, but I catch him without even allowing thoughts to invade me.
  • “Angelo,” I try to sound calm, but I don't manage to do it, as my voice falters a bit. “I want you to forgive me and to understand that it's not about you, actually I....”
  • I pull back and stop my conversation when I see his pale face looking in another direction. I want to see, I want to know what's going on, so I turn slowly in the direction of his gaze.
  • A woman with a white complexion and blonde hair a little shorter than me is looking at him and her expression is similar to Angelo's, overwhelmed, disturbed, as if seeing him was what she had expected the most.
  • A pang of the kind that twists your stomach immediately hits me, emotions shoot uncontrollably over me and a wave of pure heat floods my face.
  • What's going on here?
  • “Sam,” Angelo pronounces cautiously and low as he entangles his fingers in mine, I thank God I have some bones to support my body, because right now I have a throbbing so extreme it threatens to burst out of my chest. “I've wanted to talk to you about something important, well, at least for me; I need your help.”
  • Now I am in front of him detailing his words.
  • I feel a heavy atmosphere, I know that I will not like what he is going to tell me, I know that something will change.
  • I nod and stare at him motivating him to continue with what he wants to tell me.
  • “Some time ago, about 5 years ago, I ended a very serious relationship, it is a stage of my life that I prefer not to share with anyone,” he says looking at me cautiously without looking away. “That woman you saw, is my ex fiancée.” my heart returns to give a hard and voracious turn, and a bitter taste gestated in my mouth.
  • Ex-fiancée...