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Chapter 8 Never

  • He turns and walks quickly into the garage. I run after him as fast as I can, but all I can see is how he gets into his car and then drives past me.
  • “Taylor!” I call after him, but apart from his taillights I soon see nothing more.
  • Then I see Ava's car coming up the driveway.
  • "Tell me, was that just Taylor?" She gets out and I run through my hair.
  • "Yes." I try hard to think.
  • "Where did he want to go so quickly?" She looks at me questioningly.
  • "I have no idea." I admit.
  • "That's not good ..." she thinks out loud.
  • "No Ava, that's not good at all." I agree.
  • My head is working at full speed, then it falls like scales from my eyes.
  • I know where he's going ...
  • There is only one place.
  • I run into the house and look for my car key in my jacket.
  • "Can you stay here?" I look pleadingly at Ava.
  • "Why, surely. I just got off the phone with Seamus and he told me it would be better if I came over as Annie, Carl and Taylor are not doing well, ”she explains.
  • Slowly darkness begins to fall over Sandycove, I look into the living room and Ava follows my gaze.
  • "You need rest." I finally hold my car key in my hand and walk into the living room with Ava.
  • "It was really nice that you all checked on Annie, Carl and Taylor ..." I start and everyone looks at me. "But they need a little rest."
  • "Samira ..." Vera glares at me.
  • It seems like we disagree today.
  • "Sammy is right." Carl stands up. "Thank you all for coming, but Annie and I just need a little time for each other." He looks at me gratefully.
  • "Well, let's go then." Vera presses her lips together.
  • I've known her, I've known her long enough. She only wants the best for her family, but right now, rest is just the best.
  • Annie and Carl need time.
  • Time heals all wounds may not be right, but time makes the pain more bearable ...
  • "Please take care that they all go?" I look at Ava and she nods. "Make Annie another tea and make sure that she and Carl go to bed." I urge her.
  • Vera wants to walk past me and I hold her arm lightly.
  • “Vera, I'm sorry, but I know how bad it is for you right now. In the next few days there will be so many people around her and it will start to get bearable, but the real bad days will only come when others start to forget. Then you should be there for her. ”I say quietly to her and her face relaxes.
  • "I'm sorry Sam, but this whole situation is ..." she searches for the right word.
  • "This situation is tragic." I shrug my shoulders slightly and she hugs me.
  • "I'm really sorry," she whispers in my ear.
  • "It's okay." I reassure her and she brushes a strand off my face.
  • "I'm glad you're keeping an eye on her." She sighs softly.
  • "Will you come back tomorrow?" I ask hopefully. "I need support to keep Carl, Annie and Taylor out of the line of fire." I ask them.
  • "Of course Sam." She blows a kiss on the cheek.
  • "Thanks." With that I completely break away from her, throw a quick look at Ava and walk to my car.
  • I start the engine and have trouble getting out of the yard in reverse, but finally I can turn around and, after crossing Sandycove, drive up the dirt road to the cliffs. I take a deep breath when I see Taylor's dark blue Volvo parked and park my black Golf next to his car. I jump out of the car and look around looking.
  • I see him standing further back on the cliff, shivering, wrap my arms around me and run to him. It is windy here as always and the wind rustles in my ears when I finally reach it.
  • "Taylor ..." I start when I'm a few meters away from him.
  • Surprised, he turns to me to "not one step further ..." he looks piercingly at me and I know his words are not an empty threat.
  • "Well, as you want ..." I stand a little further away from him, also at the edge. "If you jump, then I'll jump too." My voice doesn't sound as sure as I would like it to be and I sincerely hope , he doesn't notice how scared I am.
  • "Why?" He looks at me in disbelief.
  • “Because you're one of the most important people in my life.” I look to the horizon “And because I don't want to be the one Annie and Carl say they lost you too. They've already lost Jake, they couldn't bear to lose you too ... And neither do I. "
  • "Sammy ..." he closes his eyes tormented, then thinks for a moment and then finally takes a step back.
  • I also take a step back, go to him and hold on to him.
  • "Never Taylor ... never," I whisper.
  • “I don't know what to do next,” he confesses to me.
  • "Then talk to me ..." I put my hand on his heart and feel it beating violently "... What is going on inside you? What do you want? ”I beg him.
  • "I want Jake to be back and I'm torn apart that I couldn't keep my promise to mum and dad," he confesses to me.
  • "What promise?" I tilt my head slightly to one side.
  • "I promised Mum always to make sure that Jake healthy and frisky comes home." He bites his lower lip.
  • "It wasn't your fault." I take his face in my hands.
  • "It feels like that." His eyes search for mine and I swallow hard.
  • He is lost, lost in his grief, his shame and his self-doubt ...
  • "I will always be there for you." I promise him.
  • "Why?" He shakes his head gently, but I still hold his face.
  • "Because I wouldn't be here without you." I look up at him, "I wouldn't be me."
  • His eyes rest on me, then he takes my face in his hands, slowly bends over and kisses me deeply.
  • "My star," he whispers.
  • Thoughts do somersaults in my head, what's going on right now?
  • My heart is racing in my chest, almost aching, my lips are burning from his kiss and everything is spinning in my head.
  • His tongue hesitantly demands admission and despite everything that speaks against it at the moment, I let him go and wrap my arms around his neck.
  • After a few minutes we stand breathlessly in front of each other.
  • "We're going home now." I say more confident than I feel and wrap my arms around me again.
  • Damn it is cold ...
  • We go to our cars.
  • “Can I go with you?” He looks at me pleadingly “I haven't refueled and I came here on reserve.”
  • "Of course." I unlock my car and he gets in on the passenger side.
  • "Can we go to see you?" His question sounds uncertain and I look at him carefully.
  • "We sent everyone home ..." I begin.
  • "That's not the point, I just can't stand the sight of him in the whole house today." He pleadingly takes my hand.
  • "Okay, but I have to give Ava a quick call." I take my cell phone out of my pocket and dial Ava.
  • "God Sammy, did you find Taylor?" She asks immediately.
  • "Yes, I have ... We're by the cliffs in Lower Cove. Can you stay with Carl and Annie tonight? I'll take Taylor with me. ”I tell her straight away.